Desteni Life Hack: Why do we react to problems?
Why do we as people tend to react to problems where 'standing up' for something gets turned into a conflict, fight, finger pointing, spitefulness, and even violence?
I've found that when I react to a problem it's because I don't yet fully see and understand the true nature of the problem or the solution - but I've latched onto what I believe the ONLY solution is to what I believe is the ONLY problem - and then when others don't comply with 'my solution' - I feel powerless because I'm unable to implement what I believe is the ONLY solution to the ONLY problem.
So what I find effective in relation to such situations where I recognize this kind of reaction is happening in me, is to remind myself - hey, there's simply more to this problem, and to the solution, than I believe or perceive there is. How can I assist and support myself to better understand more dimensions of this problem? How can I assist and support myself to become more Equal to the problem through understanding, so that I don't feel like I'm always disempowered and 'less than' the problem?
Because when I can stand Equal with the problem through understanding how it was created, then I can stop JUDGING the problem, and I can also then stop judging those who are directly participating in the problem - and more easily stand as ONE with them - as a fellow human, rather than wanting to attack and spite them. I can then more easily focus on investigating solutions by looking at the root problems.
So, in short, what I've found is that when I'm reacting to a problem - I have not yet stood Equal with the underlying root causes of the problem - and thus I'm not yet seeing how to actually give practical Direction to myself in relation to Solutions.
Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment Statements:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I'm reacting and becoming emotional or enraged or wanting to attack people because of a problem I see - that is showing me that I'm not yet seeing the real underlying cause of the problem or the real solution to the problem.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I understand how something works and I see the practical solution - then I don't react and become emotionally charged. Or if I do initially, I'm able to stabilize myself and then proceed to the solution. Like a mechanic who understands an engine - if the engine fails, then he can investigate and see WHY, and also see the solution - see how to give direction to himself. And in this he can also support others to learn how to give direction to the problem. It's the same with Humans and the mind and behavior.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and fight conflict with more conflict, instead of seeing and realizing that within this I am participating in the exact same principle that I am fighting against - just with different words and a different form of righteousness.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the experience of righteousness does not mean I am right - it means I have defined myself within only what I believe to be best -- but if I actually saw what was Best - then I would see what is best for ALL and I would not be reacting and wanting to attack and spite others.
I commit myself to remind myself that my reactions to problems are a gift that can support me to learn more about myself.
I commit myself to remind myself that when I understand something at a practical level, then I can be level headed and see solutions that I otherwise would not have seen because I was too busy being possessed by the storm of my emotions.
I commit myself to remind myself that yes, I do have time to assist and support myself to sit down and write about what I'm experiencing so I can make sense of what I'm reacting to and bring myself back to being solution oriented rather than fighting oriented.
I commit myself to Write about what I'm experiencing and push myself to be honest with myself about when I don't actually understand a problem or a solution - so I don't fall into the trap of righteousness.
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