Day 309: Are you living in Real-Time or Memory Time?
How many moments during your day are defined by you projecting yourself into the next moment / an upcoming moment / a possible moment later in your day?
Do you find yourself in such moments, imagining yourself "experiencing" a future moment in your head, before it's even here in fact?
Now, here I'm not talking about practical / necessary planning or calculations - I'm talking about projections where you imagine yourself experiencing a moment a certain way. Like for instance you're driving home from work, and you're imagining yourself doing something you like when you get home, like relaxing, watching TV, etc. And, in that moment of imagination, you're having a positive experience; and this experience might include a movement of excitement in your torso area, or you may also smile, or you may also relax your body or change your grip in the steering wheel. So, you're physically experiencing this future moment.
Now it's interesting because, you're in the car, you're driving. You're not at home. You're not doing whatever it is you're imagining / thinking about. You are physically not in that future moment, yet, you're apparently "experiencing it". So, where did this experience come from?
Well it didn't come from the actual moment you're in - which is driving your car. And, it obviously didn't get beamed into your head from the future. So - that leaves the past. Memory. What you're actually doing is accessing a memory contained within your mind, and the way you did that was to first think about the activity - the scenario, and then with that, you start imagining yourself in that scenario, and experiences activate - such as the positive feelings and changes you experience in your physical body.
So how much of you day would you say you spend actually "plotting out" upcoming moments, by imagining yourself doing things and experiencing things, projecting memories of past experiences into your immediate future? Why do we do this in so many little moments throughout the day? Because, what is apparent is that within such moments in the mind, I am not Here, fully in THIS moment, experiencing what is Here - but rather running a simulation of an imagined future moment.
Now what I've found in starting to apply myself more specifically in catching myself doing this in moments, and stopping the thought and letting go of the experience / memory / imagination point, and bringing myself back to breathing, is that I immediately become more aware of --- THIS moment. I immediately become more aware of my physical body, the feeling of my hands, my feet, of sitting, of walking, of the sounds in my environment, of what I can see in my environment, taking place in THIS moment. And also what opens up is the awareness of for instance -- what was I just experiencing that served as the "springboard" for thinking and imagining a future "positive experience"? Was I actually first thinking about something that brought up a Negative experience? Like, I noticed that in certain such moments I actually first thought about something I need to get done when I get home, where I imagined myself doing it and the experience of resistance or reluctance came up. And then from there - I immediately search out a "positive" experience -- which is where the thought / imagination / memory of a positive experience activates - and then -- suddenly I shift from resistance -- to: excitement, or enjoyment, or happiness.
So, it's interesting because it's the same process that activates:
And, whether positive or negative -- it's the same process of accessing a memory of "doing something", that is stored within my mind.
And, this is an important point to become aware of, because it shows where there are Negative experiences that actually get suppressed when, instead of stopping and investigating the negative experience, applying Self Forgiveness, and letting go of the memory - we instead immediately shift to looking for a Positive experience.
So, as we move through our day, how many times are we going from negative to positive to negative to positive, within this process of accessing memories / the past, and projecting them into the future? How many moments in the day are we not actually Here, but in our minds? Where and how do we allow ourselves to be directed by reactions to memories, rather than directing ourselves? How many times per day, per week, per month do we end up procrastinating or putting things off, or deciding "I'm not going to do that", because we accepted and allowed a memory of a past negative experience to have power over us in a moment, where we then suppressed the negative, shifted to the positive, and used the positive as a way to Stimulate ourselves into feeling better / apparently "enjoying" ourselves?
Wouldn't it be more practical to sort out the negative experiences, change our relationship toward things in our life that we resist doing, and release ourselves from the cycle of negative to positive experiences? Imagine, there are billions of people on this planet, and each one of us is every day being directed by negative and positive memories - existing in an alternate reality in our minds, not actually here in real-time in the physical, actual moment.
The cool thing about sorting out the negative experiences, is that you release yourself from the cycle of suppression and desire / need to constantly seek out a positive experience. And in that, open up the discovery of what it is to really be Here with yourself, experiencing YOU.
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