Day 283: Deconstructing my Relationship with Effort - Part 2


Continuing from my last post :
Day 282: Deconstructing My Relationship With Effort and Following Through Part 1 http://www.matterfreeman.com/2014/12/day-282-deconstructing-my-relationship.html

"Within my own life and my own process, I can say that one of the base points of my preprogramming that I've been walking with is exactly as is described in the Life Review, which is that of an experience of heaviness in relation to things that require putting in a lot of effort. And, here specifically what I'm talking about in my case is, effort as defined by consistent, disciplined, physical actions required to walk certain points to completion, such as going to college for example, or starting your own business and building it from the ground up -- things that require a constant and continuous drive and dedication with physical actions in physical space and time in order to follow through with. "
 In further reflecting on times in my life where I've experienced a resistance and heaviness toward putting in effort to complete things, I found that the word that stands out as the key here is - Completion. I've always struggled with taking an idea, a project, a skill, a responsibility, from the idea / inception / opportunity, through to a point of completion. Why? Because it requires Effort to complete things, and I've always tended to want to do things that take less effort. And the effect this has had in my life is that I tend to really struggle with completing projects. I've always tended to want to experience the end result NOW, and always tended to enjoy / be willing to spend time in the 'visionary' stage of a project, to the point of really perfecting the vision of how something could be / should be, and have found that I have a natural ability to see something's potential, but then when it comes to the moment where what's now required is to align my time to physical effort of taking the idea / vision to a point of actual Creation in physical reality -- that's where I'll tend to experience this resistance and heaviness and 'not wanting to', even with things that really interest me and that I see I have the potential to create / become. So what is it about Completion, about the Effort required to Complete something, that I'm actually resisting?

When I started looking at the word Completion, I asked myself - okay what is involved in taking something through to a point of completion in life, in this physical reality? Some words that I came up with are:

Commitment
Patience
Problem solving
Mistakes
Discipline
Learning
Compromise

So when I look at these words, they describe a process involved in taking something from an idea / potential / opportunity through to completion. So in my next post I'll begin opening this point up further in investigating my relationship / starting point within the process of walking something through to Completion.

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