Day 266: Am I Funding Suppression or Funding Change
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in and fuel the system of stimulation within myself, as a way to suppress what I'm experiencing, to, in a moment create the illusion that the experience doesn't exist and I'm 'free' of it
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within my own starting point / standing of accepting and allowing stimulation as suppression to exist in myself, accept and allow stimulation as suppression to exist in everyone else and making the process of creating a world that is best for all take longer, as I am, within choosing a moment of suppression and stimulation over taking self responsibility and moving myself as Life as self honesty to face and change myself, wasting a moment of space-time opportunity in which to take action -- moments of space-time that accumulate into a day, a week, a month, a year - a lifetime
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that in abusing the amenities and comforts and entertainments I am able to afford, in moments of deliberate suppression and postponing of changing myself and using my time effectively because of a moment of -- 'I don't WANT to experience this and so I will find something else to do' - I am in fact using my money to fund suppression, to fund stimulation, to fund self interest - which is the very problem we face as humanity in this world where - we are abusing our resources to fund ways of suppressing in ourselves what we actually see is going on in the world and how it is unacceptable -- funding in essence a waste of time within which the consequences only accumulate and get worse
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to decide to postpone moments of change and suppress moments of resistance, even when I in fact see that - if my entertainment and little points where I can stimulate myself and suppress / postpone points of change, were taken away -- I would in fact be using my time more effectively
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately waste even one moment of time and space where I see I have the opportunity to change / take action
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in essence support the outcome that - we must have everything we like taken away and be forced to change by consequence and suffering
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the experience of stimulation and 'being entertained', with the word Freedom and to believe that experiencing stimulation and entertainment is 'freedom'
I commit myself to stop abusing entertainment
When and as I experience a moment of resistance and the thought pops into my head where I see myself doing something else - I commit myself to STOP and CATCH that thought, and delete it, and take a moment to identify what is a practical action that I could take in this moment, in pushing through this resistance, and make the Decision to act
I commit myself to stop abusing my money - to stop funding suppression, stimulation, and the abuse of entertainment
I commit myself to show and be an example of how we can use our money to fund the process of actually changing ourselves and sharing that process to assist and support others to realize they can change, to thus gradually grow the group of people actually changing themselves from self interest to what is best for all, to be able to, in this lifetime make an actual change in this world
I also suggest investing in the Suppression series by the Atlanteans on Eqafe, which has assisted and supported me in specifying my awareness of where and how suppression exists in me and how to change.