Day 263: Snapping myself out of the resistance to blogging

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, most of the time when I am faced with having a couple of hours to work on writing / blogging, immediately go into a backchat of 'I'm not going to have enough time to really open the point up' and to react to this point within an experience of resistance and then allow the resistance to direct me to rather find something to busy myself with like a point of stimulation, or busy work that I don't really need to be doing, or running an errand that I don't really need to run in that moment -- and to then suppress that I actually see I could have worked on a blog or writing, using the excuse / justification of 'I need more time overall before I can get back to blogging regularly'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and tell myself that I need more time before I can blog regularly, even though I in fact see that there are moments where I could write a blog

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest a resistance to blogging and manifest a behavior of postponing blogging, through accepting and allowing myself to consistently waste opportunities to blog and then not want to face the effort required of re-establishing the point of blogging consistently

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an idea / belief that I will experience it as 'difficult and unpleasant' to start blogging regularly again

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop myself when I see I am using ideas and beliefs to manifest reactions and resistances

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the idea and belief that, if I have one hour free time to write a blog, that that's not enough time to write a blog and to then just not even try

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I haven't blogged regularly in a while, that when I start again I'm going to experience it as difficult and I'll have to 'catch up' -- instead of realizing and seeing that -- there's nothing to 'catch up' on -- it's simply a point of taking a point and writing about it in the moment - that's it -- there's no need to have any kind of idea or projection of what it's going to be like

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I 'don't know what to write about', because I was holding onto an idea of what I wanted my blogs to be about - within this not seeing that -- this was the point to write about -- this self forgiveness is what was Here the whole time to write about - thus showing how easy it is to fuck with myself when I am creating ideas instead of just being here and seeing what opens up through moving myself as self expression

I commit myself to identify and let go of any and all ideas and beliefs about blogging in terms of - how I will experience it, what the topic should be, how long it should be, how detailed it should be

When and as I see I in fact have some time to write a blog or at least even START a blog -- I commit myself to breathe, clear myself of any and all ideas / belief / projections about 'how the blogging will go', and to self honestly look at what is here

I commit myself to stop wasting time

When and as I am tempted to postpone blogging - I commit myself to snap myself out of it and physically move myself as breath to - start writing

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