Day 181: Human Nature and the True Dare-Devil
Climber, 22, dies after falling 300ft while scaling ridge on Ben NevisRead more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2269014/Ben-Nevis-fall-Climber-22-dies-plummeting-300ft-scaling-ridge.html#ixzz2JDCJZq7w
The moment snowmobile rider crashed during X-Games stunt and had to be rushed to emergency heart surgeryRead more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2269082/The-moment-snowmobile-rider-crashed-X-Games-stunt-rushed-emergency-heart-surgery.html#ixzz2JDCTQ9W0
Why do we risk our lives chasing thrills and danger? Sure, climbing stuff can be fun, doing tricks on your bike or snowmobile I'm sure is fun. But why do we push ourselves to increasing levels of risk and danger? So we can say that we 'accomplished' something? So we can win a trophy proving that we're the 'best' and 'most daring and fearless' and then feel all brave and strong and heroic?
Isn't it because we've accepted an idea of ourselves as being this little, insignificant, limited speck in the universe in a world of massive problems of a scale that seems impossible for us to comprehend changing, such as having to work your whole life just to survive, that we want to get in as much 'fun and excitement' as we can, and do whatever we can to 'leave a mark' in the world when we're dead? (With that Mark often coming prematurely in the form of a splotch of blood on the ground where your amazing feat went wrong and the Laws of Physics got the better of your ambition.)
Because apparently all life is is 'the lot we've ended up with', and we might as well 'make the best of it' - meaning, try to be as happy as possible and fulfill as many of our desires as possible, and 'be something' by becoming a memory in the minds of other people where they remember that awesome trick you did, or that mountain you climbed and say 'yep, there was a guy who did what he loved, there was a guy who lived by his own rules, there was a guy who followed his passion'?
Is it to fight boredom? How can such behavior then be real passion, real self expression, when it is just a reaction to boredom? In a world with so many problems that require solutions, doesn't boredom indicate that one is not Life? Because, wouldn't Life have plenty to do in sorting out this world to be a place where Life can live everywhere, equally, fully?
Boredom. This is one of the most prominent points that has disappeared from my life when I started walking my process of Change - in getting to the bottom of my thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, fears, self beliefs, self ideas, self definitions, in seeing how / where / when / why I separated myself from Me as Life as all as one as equal to exist within ideas of myself that included only survival and 'feeling good'.
Previously, in just accepting my thoughts, feelings and emotions to be 'who I am' -- the possibility of directing this world in all ways to a point that is best for all life never occurred to me. Because that was not part of the program of my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. The definitions I learned in the first years of my life, with which I defined myself and my world, only included an idea of myself within what I learned to be 'what life is' - which is that you're born, you go to school, you get a job, you get a relationship, you have sex, you have hobbies, you watch the news, you entertain yourself, you retire, and then you die. And, humans were either created by god who gave us our 'human nature' as our feelings, thoughts and emotions, or by 'evolution' which gave us our 'human nature' as a result of some long ago cosmic accident where 'life was born', and that all life is is the experiences that arise within us as a product of 'Nature', or 'God'.
So, I grew up within the acceptance of the idea that we don't create ourselves, we're not responsible for our nature -- our nature was created by God or by some long ago cosmic force.
And, the result of this Acceptance is that we then simply copy what is presented to us by the environment, the system we're living in, as ideas and definitions of what life is, what self expression is, what passion is, what self fulfillment is. And we get these ideas from examples we see in how other people live, and what we see in movies, TV, etc. And, since 'who we are' is apparently just this insignificant product of God or Nature, just passing through this world for a moment, boredom is like this moment of limbo where we're in between points of stimulation that make us feel like we're 'living'.
And so the only thing there seems to 'do' in this world, is to find some lifestyle, some activities that we've seen others doing, pick the one that we like the most, and copy it. Some people accept a simple life of merely doing some job, raising a family, having hobbies, etc. Most people try to find some kind of recognition from others, to feel like their life is not 'meaningless' -- trying to get others to think about 'me', and 'remember me', and 'admire me', and 'value me' -- so that I can feel like I'm 'more than' just this little insignificant speck put here by God or Nature apparently. This takes the form of Art, Music, Acting, etc. Ahhhh I'm admired and praised and complimented, Ahhh, I'm unique and interesting and special and talented, yes - tell me more! I feel so alive now! I'm more than what I was before! My life has meaning now! Some people particularly like the feeling of excitement, exhilaration, adrenaline, when facing the possibility of death or injury. Ahhhh Yes! I'm exploring the world, I'm pushing the limits, I'm playing by my own rules, I'm brave, I'm strong, I'm fearless - Look at me! I'm climbing this mountain so I can be the FIRST ONE to stand at the peak of Mt. whatever! Aren't I great! Look at what I have achieved! I will never be forgotten now! I can now die in peace, knowing that I lived my life to the fullest!
But is this really Living Life to the Fullest? Don't you need to be Life to Live? Are emotions and feelings and thoughts Life? How can they be Life when they were placed in gradually over time AFTER you were born, shaped by environmental influences like family, teachers, society? I mean a poor teenager living in a slum with no education, coming from an abusive family -- will tend to have thought, feeling, and emotional patterns revolving around how to survive and how to find ways to escape the physical pain of the environment - like for example in alcohol, drugs, rape, etc. Would that person have the same thoughts, feelings, and emotions in the same patterns if they were born into the family of a billionaire? Most billionaire children grow up to inherit the family business, not die in a gutter somewhere. Isn't Life then the Physical Human Body? Isn't it strange how the Physical Human Body gradually becomes installed with a Mental Body that consists primarily of Reactions and Interpretations of Physical Reality? Shouldn't the Physical Human Body as a Living Being, rather be installed with practical definitions that support practical living in awareness of how reality works and what is most supportive for Life, and which support the Physical Living Being to discover its Self Expression?
Why would a Physical Living Being risk its life climbing a mountain or tight-rope walking over the grand canyon? I mean, maybe you enjoy climbing or doing balancing -- but risking your life doing it is taking it beyond a Physical Self Expression that one enjoys as a Living Being, to a point of Mental Masturbation where you're living out this idea of yourself as 'Fearless', chasing a Mental experience of excitement as a reaction to Boredom.
When you look at what Life is subject to in this world - the massive abuse, the massive inequality, the massive suffering, the massive amounts of greed, conflict, war and bullshit revolving around survival and self interest and belief and opinion -- it's not based on the recognition and valuing of each other as physical Living Beings, it's based on seeing each other through the eyes of survival of our thoughts, feelings, and emotions -- does this person support my thoughts, feelings and emotions in the way I want? I mean, the only reason we're able to be 'happy' and feel 'care free', while half the world is in poverty, is because all those people are removed from the circle of people and things that support 'my existence as thoughts, feelings, and emotions' -- they don't serve or support me in generating experiences that make me feeling like I'm alive'. In the case of daredevils and adventure seekers who kill themselves in the pursuit of excitement, 'normal' activities don't support my thoughts, feelings, and emotions as my idea of myself as 'a brave, fearless being', or 'someone who's going to accomplish something no one else has done', but mountains and snowmobiles and climbing things support this idea of myself, so therefore to feel like I am 'alive' as this idea of myself, I will push myself more and more and more, increasing the size and intensity of my experience of this idea of myself as 'fearless', wanting more and more as I reach higher and higher heights of excitement and 'accomplishment' - until, whoops....splat.
Thrill seekers who kill themselves in the pursuit of 'sport', are perfect examples of Humanity is not here as Physical Living Beings, Directing and Expressing ourselves as Earthlings, but are directed by thoughts, feelings, and emotions as the 'Nature' we've accepted as being that which is just 'who we are'. Like, chasing excitement and thrills is just 'Who I Am', because I was bored and unfulfilled, and now I feel alive and stimulated and therefore, this is me just being 'Who I Am', doing 'what I love'.
But - the point is that boredom can only exist if one has separated oneself from Life. Because, if one was here as Life, as a Living Being -- there is plenty that needs to be done in terms of making this world the best, most supportive environment for Life. I mean, everyone wants the best for themselves -- the problems is that the 'Self' is not Life -- the 'Self' is thoughts, feelings, and emotions that we've accepted to be 'who I am', as conditioned and copied from our environment -- which, unfortunately happens to currently be an environment where Self Interest is the accepted starting point of existence.
When I made the decision to be Life and started applying Self Forgiveness - I realized that my nature, my thoughts, feelings, and emotions, were in fact my own creation - my own responsibility. It's just that I had not been aware of myself as I was creating this nature. I had been copying and accepting ideas, and definitions and beliefs from my environment - designing ideas and beliefs of myself, designing desires and fantasies and hopes and dreams based on 'how can I escape boredom, how can I be entertained', because that's what I learned to do.
I mean with one Self Forgiveness statement, every single idea, opinion, and belief that Human Nature as thoughts, feelings, and emotions is just 'who we are' and thus we must 'follow' and 'accept' our nature - was immediately no longer valid, no longer real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to escape reality into my imagination, because I fear being here and facing myself with what actually exists in this world,
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand in separation of Life as all as one as equal and consider only myself, instead of standing as life as all as one as equal and considering all life as myself --- it becomes obvious that, the pursuit of imagination and self interest is not just some 'natural part of human nature' -- it's actually a Decision. And in seeing this Decision -- I then saw -- if I am to now just go back to my imagination and considering only my own pursuit of entertainment -- I am making a deliberate decision to be Dishonest with myself - to Deny my Responsibility, to hide from reality, to separate myself from Life and deny Life, to suppress my Fear of what exists in this world, making the decision to live a Lie.
And, within this I also saw -- if I am now to live in Self Honesty, I must take Responsibility to identify every single Decision I've made, every single Acceptance and Allowance I've made, that I copied from my environment to become a Clone of those who came before me, where I separated myself from Life, separated myself from Self Responsibility within beliefs, ideas, opinions, definitions, and release myself from these Decisions, and make a Decision aligned with what is best for me as All Life - to become a new being.
If you dare to re-read the Self Forgiveness statements above, out loud, you'll find you're faced with a choice - the choice to begin a process of Change, the choice to begin a process of becoming Life, the choice to begin taking Responsibility for Human Nature, the choice to live in Self Honesty -- or the choice to Deny change, and accept Human Nature as it is. For me the choice was easy - because I'm not willing to accept Human Nature as it is, I'm not willing to Accept and Allow myself or anyone to continue chasing a Lie as clones of the past, when we could be Living as Life in the Flesh, creating a Fresh world, a Fresh Start where we are supporting each other to Equally be able to Live as Life.
As a true Dare-Devil, I Dare to transform the Evil of Separation from Life, into to a Life Lived fully in Self Honesty, in Self Responsibility, in walking the Adventure of a Lifetime - the Adventure of making this world a place that supports all Life -- a life without Boredom, a life without stupidity, a life without denial, a life without the fear of not 'feeling alive'. After all, if you have to 'feel alive', doesn't that mean you're already dead?
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