Day 163: Self as Pictures vs. Self as Life
I experience this as a physical tightening, like I'm trying to squeeze the entirety of who I am into and as this picture representation, moving the mouse, clicking away, making endless adjustments to color, contrast, arrangement, alignment, texture.
Within this I've tended to ignore my other responsibilities, believing that it is important that I get this picture perfect, and that I can't be satisfied with my blog until I achieve a picture to use in it that absolutely, perfectly represents my blog.
I'll then end up with a lot of responsibilities still to get to, and not enough time to get to them all.
And this is the funny part - because the very principle I'm suggesting that we as humanity apply - making the support of Life the priority rather than the support of personality built around ideas and beliefs and picture presentations we like, I'm neglecting within a point of self interest of wanting a picture to look a certain way, believing that my expression, that who I am, will somehow be less if I don't have a perfect picture presentation -- to the point where I'll end up postponing other responsibilities and then running out of time to get to them all.
This is exactly the problem with humanity, in particular with spirituality. We're so obsessed with the search for the perfect pictured presentation of 'who we really are' as 'something / someone better', that we completely miss the fact that our real physical actions of living are in no way producing a better world. Lightworkers, starseeds, ascending beings, enlightened masters, gurus, mystics, psychics -- all promote an idea of 'change' defined by the upgrading of one's picture presentation to that which apparently represents a 'higher understanding', and a 'higher level of being'. I mean, all the bright shiny colors, pretty shapes and temples and crystals and paintings and lights and auras -- it's as if changing the world is as simple as painting over the suffering and abuse with a new picture. 'See, I'm psychic! I'm 'connecting' with a better world! I can tell you alllll about the 'higher realms' of beautiful light and love and angels! I can paint you a pretty picture!' 'I'm an alien contactee! I can tell you all about the better reality that the aliens live in, and how they're going to help change the world! I can paint you a pretty picture!' Let's all focus on the pretty pictures and hope they come true - wow this feels so good! We must be changing and becoming more cosmically enlightened beings! Look how we can feel feelings of love all the time no matter what's going on in the world! We must be advancing to a higher state of being! We must be evolving! If everyone would just follow our example and focus on the pretty pictures all the time, then everyone would feel good and the world would change!
But all that happens is that one's focus is placed on a new picture, a picture that is given the Illusion of 'life' as Feelings through hope and imagination, while meanwhile the suffering and abuse still exists -- meanwhile we're failing to give life to an actual solution that ends the suffering and abuse of life. Meanwhile we're failing to see that our survival is in fact still subject to an unequal money system that allows poverty and starvation and animal abuse and the destruction of nature. We fail to see that if we were voted into office as a world leader - all we could do is promote pretty pictures and tell people to focus on them and make themselves feel good.
The reality is, though my blog's appearance can represent my expression and the message to a certain extent, and though I find it fun to design very specific imagery -- I don't need the picture presentation, in order to say what I'm saying. The picture presentation does not make me who I am. If my blog was just text on a white screen -- I wouldn't lose my ability to express who I am. The appearance is only important in so far as it may help to get the attention of those who've placed value in pictures, because who I am is not a picture, who I am is life, is self honesty, is self responsibility, is what is best for all.
If I look back at my experience as a lightworker, with all the feelings of love and light that was the apparent 'proof' that I've 'changed' into a more 'advanced being' -- If I had suddenly gone blind, and my mind had suddenly gone completely dark and I lost the ability to see pictures and words in my mind and could no longer visualize or imagine anything -- I would have been in trouble, because my entire experience of love and light was in fact dependent on relationships with specific picture imagery -- white light, heavenly landscapes, glowing auras, crystals, multicolored energy streams, spaceships, ascended masters, angels -- I mean, all the techniques I had applied to 'raise my vibration' into feelings of light and love had involved visualizing a picture of light, a picture of energy, a picture of certain colors -- I had constructed a whole world of 'higher dimensions' and 'spiritual beings' and 'influxes of energy and light' inside my mind - and if it had all been suddenly deleted, my experience would have been 'upset', and I would have been unable to speak my message of love and light, because I would be unable to access the picture representations I'd defined my love and light experience within. And in terms of my physical living, in this physical world - I would have been faced with seeing that my 'love and light' reality had had no practical value in terms of coming to a real solution for this world, because my expression, my Who I Am, was not aligned with an understanding of how to take responsibility for this world within Principles that can be lived in support life in any reality, with or without pictures.
Spirituality is extremely limited in that one defines one's entire self expression, one's entire ability to live and participate, within relationships toward specific picture representations, and fails to see how if those pictures were removed from existence, you could no longer be 'spiritual' - you could no longer maintain your 'spiritual presentation'. Who would you be then?
I suggest rather than remaining trapped within a feeling experience based on a relationship of dependence on specific pictures, that you align yourself with principles that take into account what is best for all life as equality and oneness.
Study the Equal Money System proposal to see how when we align ourselves with Life, and let go of picture representations of ideas that make us feel good, it becomes clear what must be done to actually change this world, and because we're no longer dependent in maintaining a relationship toward certain picture representations in order to generate a feeling experience, we can focus on the actual Relevant Relationships which are the interdependent relationships of all the Physical life forms on Earth, in looking at how we can align our relationships to a starting point that takes into account the best outcome for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my expression to be dependent on a perfect picture representation of what I'm expressing, and to become obsessed with making the perfect picture to represent my expression
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to go into an energetic state of obsessive compulsion to 'get the picture perfect', and to within this accept and allow myself to go into a state of physical stress / tightness, and to just ignore what I'm doing because I 'want the picture to be perfect'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that every picture I make must be absolutely perfect
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my blog's design to others within and as a point of wanting and desiring to have the best, most perfect design that represents what I'm expressing
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my blog's design will enable me to express myself 'more' within writing, instead of seeing and realizing that, when I'm actually writing my blog - I'm just here, focused on the words - the design becomes irrelevant, because who I am is not a picture
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when and as I'm working in photoshop on a picture, and I find myself going into a physical tightening and reaction of 'I have to get this perfect' -- I've actually already accessed a thought in which I saw myself making the 'perfect picture', and within that imagined myself feeling satisfied, and simultaneously imagined myself feeling dissatisfied if the picture is not perfect, and within this already accepted a point of backchat of 'I must get this perfect', and then went into physical stress / tightening as I was reacting to the fear of feeling dissatisfied if I were to not get the picture perfect, where I then ended up in the physical action of obsessively trying to get the picture perfect
Therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as the thought of designing a perfect picture arise in my mind as a picture / scene, accept the thought immediately and within this accept and allow the 'this must be perfect' character to activate
Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my desire to design the perfect picture override my other responsibilities, to the point where I let consequence accumulate where I run out of time to get to other responsibilities
When and as I look at my blog and a thought pops into my mind wherein I see myself making it look better', I stop - I breathe, and I let go of any desire or want to make it look perfect - I commit myself to step out of character, and I remind myself that it's really not necessary to redesign my blog -- but that if I do decide to redesign it, it does not have priority over my other responsibilities, as the way my blog looks actually does not affect my expression within writing, and that thus redesigning my blog is something that should be done in my spare time
I commit myself to complete my daily responsibilities that I see have priority, before working on my blog's design
I commit myself to show myself that my blog's picture appearance does not affect my expression
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