Day 138: Response to Eckhart Tolle: What is My Responsibility? Part 1
I highlighted the main points made within the video:
• Your primary responsibility is in taking responsibility for your state of consciousness which determines what kind of world you create
• You are humanity, so for humanity to take responsibility you need to take primarily responsibility for your state of consciousness
• Only a diseased and dysfunctional consciousness produces a diseased and dysfunctional world 'out there'
• The human made world has been imposed upon the planet which is potentially a paradise
• Your state of consciousness determines the world you create - the action you take - and what kind of consequences your actions have
• We have to take responsibility for our state of consciousness Now - what is my state of consciousness Now -- am I generating disturbance, am I generating negativity - am I generating conflict and suffering for myself and others
• The change that you want to see out there - you need to embody that
• What you do flows from your state of consciousness - who you are
• Only those who are 'up to it' are required to take responsibility
So we're going to look at this first point and investigate what is implied at a practical level, in taking Responsibility for one's Consciousness.
Your primary responsibility is in taking responsibility for your state of consciousness which determines what kind of world you create
When I was a 'lightworker', I experienced extensive, powerful 'positive' feelings of 'love' for example, but I never even noticed how I actually created the experience through many hours reading various stories and descriptions of such experiences, and imagining myself experiencing it, and defining myself through the ideas and stories I read about - and I actually practiced the experience over and over again through fixating myself on the idea of the experience -- I didn't notice what / how I had been participating within my mind -- I only acknowledged the end result experience of 'love' and then interpreted this as 'oh wow I have connected with god / source, and that is what I am experiencing!' -- when in fact, I created this connection within my mind completely -- I constructed the specific idea of 'source' / 'god' that I liked, and I constructed the specific experience of 'connection' to it -- all based on material I read in books and websites -- I created an interactive Fantasy. And -- when I started applying the Desteni tools - starting with Breathing -- I realized for example that when I'm actually Here, Breathing, with the Physical Reality -- I have to leave 'Here' to go into and participate within the idea of the Experience, in order to generate it / experience it -- and when I'm just here breathing with my Body -- there is no experience - it vanishes like unplugging a video game.
The problem with the Spiritual approach to Consciousness, to Experiences, is that the starting point is always 'What can I experience?' -- instead of HOW is this experience being created? HOW is it that I have come to exist in a state where I cannot SEE HOW each experience that arises within me is being created? Spirituality is a process of taking in knowledge and information, ideas, stories, explanations - and picking out the information that is most closely aligned with your particular wants and desires of WHAT you WANT to experience - and using this information to, over time, within your mind, design the 'ultimate experience' that you want to have, and you meditate on it, you practice experiencing it, you refine it and upgrade it through taking in more information and adjusting your imagination, until you achieve the satisfactory experience. In my case, the experience I designed was my experience of being a 'lightworker'. I literally designed myself in my mind as a Character - just like a video game character / avatar -- using elaborate scripting and visualization based on all kinds of stuff I read and watched and heard in books, video, and websites.
So, with positive experience for example, there's this idea that when you're having positive experiences / positive thoughts / positive feelings -- then you're 'taking Responsibility'. And there's this idea that positive and negative experiences / thoughts are just like, floating around in some cosmic ether, and we just 'choose' them. Like for example with my lightworker / love experience, I perceived myself as 'choosing' a 'higher vibration' -- and that the experience of 'love' was like a 'higher part of the universe' that I was 'accessing' through my 'choice' --- but I had no Self Honesty in seeing the HOW I actually got to the point of the experience -- which was the entire process I walked in my mind of designing / programming the experience.
So, taking Responsibility for my Consciousness, is the end of simply following 'What I Want to Experience' -- and the beginning of slowing down to the speed of one Breath at a time, and starting to become Aware of the actual thought processess I'm participating in. Like, I'm reading a website or book, or hearing a lecture with a spiritual teacher -- what points of imagination am I participating in? What ideas am I forming about myself? What ideas of experiences am I desiring / thinking about? What am I busy designing / programming myself to experience?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Taking Responsibility for my Consciousness as 'having positive experiences' -- instead of realizing that taking responsibility for my Consciousness would start with slowing down to the speed of One Breath at a time - walking as Breath, and starting to really be Self Honest about the thought processess I participate in - both 'negative' and 'positive' - and to start looking at how my thought processess relate to the experiences I end up having -- and to then within this, start investigating where / when / how these thought processess came to exist within me to the point where they just 'pop' into my mind -- in realizing that to Take Responsibility for my Consciousness, I can no longer remain within the belief that Thoughts are just floating around as part of some 'collective mind', there for me to 'choose' -- but that I actually have to get to know each thought process in detail in looking at what beliefs / ideas / definitions underlie each thought process - and then within that I will have to look at how / when / where I got to the point of participating within / accepting each belief, idea, and definition that forms the basis of my thought processess of both a Negative, and Positive nature -- where did I pick up each belief, idea, and definition? Parents? Teachers? Books? Movies? TV shows?
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that for example a positive experience like 'love' is not 'who I am' -- but it is What I am -- and that to get to WHO I am, I have to walk a process of uncovering HOW I designed / created the actual experience -- within this looking at WHO I am as my Starting Point in designing / creating the experience -- for example within my Lightworker / Love experience, I saw that Who I Am as my Starting Point was that of 'I WANT' -- 'I WANT to experience LOVE' -- where I then practiced experiencing love, through fixating / focusing on an IDEA of an Experience that I designed using all kinds of information and descriptions from various sources that talked about 'the experience of love'
We'll look further into this point within additional Self Forgiveness Statements in the next post.
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