Day 123: Postponement Character - Reaction Dimension Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment Statements
So, the reactions that I experience after the thoughts of 'doing other things' come up, are reactions of a positive nature - which I would define as relief, and excitement. Like, I'm relieved and excited that the possibility of doing something other than my blogging / writing assignment exists, and within this the backchat comes up that is aligned with justifying / reasoning why it's okay to put off / postpone my blogging / writing assignment.
When I look at the experience of 'relief' here, it's defined as 'ah I'm glad I could escape this unpleasant experience'.
When I look at the experience of excitement it's defined as 'ooooh something good is about to happen'.
Within this I can see I've defined both of these words within a point of Self Sabotage - where, I'm deciding that having a moment of 'escape' from my responsibility, is more important / more beneficial to me than walking the point of responsibility through to completion. The sabotage being that in postponing my responsibility, I'm just creating Consequence for myself, as the point of responsibility will just accumulate and compound more and more - and it will become more difficult to take on the point as I keep making it bigger through postponing it.
So, in using common sense I can see that in postponing the point of responsibility at hand as blogging / writing assignment, for a point of momentary entertainment / distraction, is in no way a 'relief', or 'exciting' - meaning, with the point of relief - I'm not in fact 'escaping' anything as the point of responsibility still exists, and there's nothing to be 'excited' about - as in postponing my responsibility and allowing it compound and accumulate, there's definitely nothing 'good' and 'beneficial' happening to me. It's just delusional.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as I am faced with blogging / doing my writing assignment -- and any other point where I'm faced with taking responsibility for who I am in changing myself to what is best for all, and I see I am reacting to thoughts of doing something else, with an experience of 'oh that would be a relief, and 'oh that looks exciting', to not realize and see that this is the postponement character activating, and that the activation of these reactions is showing that I've already accepted and allowed thoughts to come up, and accepted the thoughts, where now I'm busy with the reaction stage, where the reaction is designed as a point of self manipulation to manipulation myself through feelings, into 'doing something else', and where the backchat backs up the feelings / reactions with statements / inner conversations of justifications / reasons / excuses as to why it makes more sense / why it's okay / acceptable to do something OTHER than the point of responsibility I'm faced with
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I'm thinking about 'doing something else' when faced with a point of change / responsibility such as blogging / doing my writing assignment, and experience reactions of excitement / relief in relation to the thoughts of doing something else, that the reactions can be trusted as a source of guidance as to what is best to do in that moment, instead of realizing that the reactions are just self manipulation through energy to remain within self interest and not change
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize and see that in order to experience 'relief' and 'excitement' about doing something other than the point at hand as my point of responsibility / change I'm faced with, I have to exist within and as a point of friction / negativity toward the point at hand, and that if this friction did not exist - then I would have no starting point motivation to experience the 'opposite' as a 'positive experience'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge blogging and doing my writing assignments as 'negative', and 'unpleasant', within this creating an experience / reaction of unpleasantness when faced with the point, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept this unpleasant experience / friction and use it as the basis to create a 'positive' experience as the opposite polarity of the friction / negative experience
I commit myself to, when and as reactions of relief / excitement are triggered within me in relation to thoughts about doing other things when I am faced with the point of blogging / writing assignments, stop, breathe, and realize the postponement character is activating, and thus stop participating in the reaction, identify where I've connected a negative judgment to the point I'm working with, delete the judgment, and breathe myself back Here, and stand one and equal with the moment, and simply move myself in taking responsibility within my blogging / writing assignments in realizing that what's best for me is to assist and support myself to change myself to what is best for all so that I can be free of the experience of conflict I manifest myself as toward what is here through existing in self interest
I commit myself to show that reactions as emotions and feelings are not a guidance system that shows what's best to do in the moment, but are a system of self manipulation that always guides me to remain in self interest
I commit myself to show how accepting and allowing reactions of emotions and feelings based in self interest to direct the way we live, has created the consequence of a world of suffering and abuse through generations of postponement of our responsibility / opportunity to change ourselves to what is best for all
I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing reactions of emotions and feelings to cause me to postpone taking responsibility in every moment to change myself to what is best for all