Day 120: Postponement Character - Backchat Dimension Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as I'm faced with blogging / doing my writing assignment, and I sit down to begin and experience backchat as:

there'll be time later for this /
I'll watch a series and come back to this later /
I'll read the news to find a blog topic /
I'll work on photoshop because art is important and it's okay if I do art now and end up taking longer with my assignment /
I'll go shopping now just to get it out of the way /
just a few more minutes of this episode or browsing this site /
I still have hours until bedtime

pops into my mind, appearing in my head as an inner voice / dialogue, not see and realize that this is the postponement character in the process of activating, wherein the backchat was triggered / activated after initial thoughts popped up in which I saw myself doing something other than the point at hand / the point I'm faced with as blogging / writing assignment, such as watching a series, working with photoshop, shopping, reading the news, browsing a website, and that the backchat only appeared after I accepted the thoughts / believed the thoughts, and that the backchat is obviously all justifications of why it apparently makes more sense to do anything but the point I am actually faced with in the moment as blogging / writing assignment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as this backchat arises in my head, immediately accept it / believe it as if it is 'me communicating with me' - instead of realizing that it is a preprogrammed character as pattern that has automatically activated / been triggered by the physical, actual scenario / situation of being faced with my blogging / writing assignment

Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize and see that no matter what I'm doing, I do not need or require an inner voice / conversation / dialogue to take place to 'convince' me of what to do -- as I always see what is best / most practical to do, and that the backchat is just 'self talk' - where I'm trying to, in spite of directly already seeing what is best, 'talk myself into' doing something else - which would indicate a point of self interest that conflicts with what I already see is best, that I am trying to justify through all kinds of backchat statements to 'back up' the thoughts that arise within which I see myself doing anything but the actual point I'm faced with in physical reality

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