Day 94: From Fear to Living Through Giving: Self Forgiveness
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I was a young child I did not need fear for my survival to motivate me to learn about animals, nature, trucks, firefighters, art, etc - it was a point of self expression
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that as I got older and went to school I learned that you have to make money to survive in this world and so my self expression was replaced with fear of poverty and the desire to make money to escape the fear - where learning the skill / getting the degree / getting the job became competition in the pursuit of a reward as money / happiness to escape my fear of poverty -- wherein, learning a skill was no longer a physical self expression, but an energetic pursuit of a reward based on fear - within which, I no longer moved myself in self expression but was moved / directed by automatic patterns of fear and the desire for relief in being able to escape my fear which is called 'happiness'
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I never had a real choice about the kind of work I'd like to do because my primary consideration was how much money will I make / will I be able to pay my bills / support myself / live comfortably - which was all based in Fear of Poverty
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that we don't actually need to make each other pay money to receive support, because all we have to do is change the way we use what is already here, to a starting point of giving to each other what everyone needs so that everyone including ourselves can have a great life and be able to pursue self expression without fear
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that to give to each other everything we need for a great life, all we have to do is take responsibility to move ourselves in maintaining / producing the basic needs everyone requires to be fulfilled, and that when we all work together to do this, we can maintain an entire system of support and not have to work our entire lives, as for example in our high school / college years we can participate / contribute to system maintenance / basic needs production and facilitation for just a few years and then then be done - as we will have trained the next batch of young people to take over - and they will train the next batch of young people to take over, and so on
Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when education is given equal to all and from a young age children learn how the world works in all ways and what is required to be done to ensure all have support, that they can choose an area of the system that they'd like to be involved in within their few years of system maintenance / basic needs production and facilitation, that they have found they are particularly interested in
Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that with the things 'no one wants to do', we can simply allocate these responsibilities accordingly to ensure what needs to get done, gets done - just as we work together as a group of people living in the same house, to allocate and fulfill the necessary chores / duties that ensure a comfortable living environment for everyone
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that then when I've put in my few years of contributing to the production and facilitation of everyone's basic needs, I don't have to work any more because I will be in a system that provides for my basic needs free of charge, and then I have a whole lifetime ahead of me with the freedom to choose how I'd like to express myself (as long as it does not abuse or harm anyone) -- and within this I I realize that I will not just sit around for decades of time doing nothing because that will be very boring, and that I may choose to get involved in a particular career as a point of self expression / passion after maybe spending some years traveling and entertaining myself and experiencing the world - which everyone will be able to do because travel will be free and it will be safe because there will be no crime because everyone will have everything they need for a great life
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that behavior patterns like laziness, apathy, isolation are the result of the theft of a being's opportunity to develop their full potential for self expression by a system that cares more about winning rewards and profiting off life than supporting all life equally, and that the flaw of capitalism is that not everyone will without question accept fear and competition and earning money as a 'normal' way to exist and yet such people are blamed and judged as lazy / unmotivated when really it is those who accept an abusive, unequal system of fear and rewards that are so obsessed with / addicted to escaping the fear of poverty and winning a reward as money / happiness who are too lazy and unmotivated to change the world to a place that supports everyone in reaching their full self expression
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I do not need fear for survival and the desire for a reward as motivation to: feed myself, clean my house, clean my toilet, tend my garden, care for my children, care for my pets, etc - proving that Humanity IS in fact capable of participating in this world from the starting point of Moving Self In Self Expression to fulfill the responsibilities of creating an enjoyable and effective living environment for ourselves -- we just need to decide to Create an enjoyable and effective living environment for Everyone on Earth instead of only ourselves -- in realizing that, if we all Move Ourselves in Creating an enjoyable and effective environment on Earth for All, in taking responsibility to work together to produce and facilitate the Best support for all Humans to live effectively, then EACH of us as an Individual will benefit in that We Also will have the Best Support -- and the only thing that changes is that we are Giving to Each other as a constant Self Movement / Self Expression - we are Life Giving Life to Life so that Life can Live -- and when we Give to Each other then we no longer have to fear Losing what we have, because we are constantly Giving, and no longer have to compete against each other to get the best jobs in a limited system that forces us to work an entire life just to maintain our survival
Self Commitment Statements to follow in my next post.