Day 91: Hoping for Magnificent Events to Happen: Self Forgiveness
Self Forgiveness Statements in continuation of my last post.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I read messages telling me that amazing events will happen that will transform my experience of my life from struggle / frustration / fear to that of fun / freedom / happiness, immediately accept and believe the messages to be 'real' simply because it felt good to hope that 'something' will 'happen'
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize and see that the way the world currently exists / functions within which I am experiencing myself / my life is not shaped by 'things happening' - it is shaped by breath by breath participation of human beings according to our individual / collective decisions in every moment of how we will participate with each other on earth
I forgive myself that I did not accepted and allowed myself to realize that for example my experience with frustration in relation to not making enough money, was due to a money system that physical exists here on earth that was created over years and years through consistent, actual physical actions of human beings, and that it will not magically transform into a happy fun land through some 'shift' or 'event' happening
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I became addicted to hoping that 'something will happen' that will 'change the world' because I wanted instant gratification as a feeling experience, not realizing that to change this world we must actually walk real practical steps of changing how we are living, and within this must obviously understand in fact all the ways where / how we must change in order to produce a different world - and that we cannot just remain as we are and expect the world to change
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to buy into the message of hope because I had bought into the lie that, when I feel happy, then everything is fine / everything will be okay in spite of the evidence that as I am feeling happy / hopeful, billions of beings on earth continue to suffer and no solution is being implemented which shows that everything is not in fact 'okay'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the hope that aliens will land and take humanity away into spaceships where we'll then be free from the world we created, instead of realizing that if we do not actually each individually and together change the way we live on earth, it doesn't matter where we go - we would live in the same dysfunctional way because this world is the product of who we have accepted ourselves to be within our relationship with each other as a group
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the hope that some amazing political leader will emerge and will change everything, instead of realizing that it is not politicians who decide how humanity will live, it is all of us participating within the system and accepting ourselves as not being able to change it, that are deciding how we will live
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the hope that the earth will 'ascend' into some higher dimension of fun, happiness, and bliss instead of realizing that this is delusional as I am just projecting my own fantasies based in my own fears of facing the world we have created
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when the magnificent events of aliens landing, new leaders emerging, ascension don't come true according to the predicted dates / times, immediately suppress my reaction of fear that 'maybe nothing will happen and we are stuck here with ourselves and what we created', and search out another prediction / message describing some amazing event that 'will happen' so that I can go back into the Hope character, setting my sights in excited anticipation on the next 'big event'
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I stopped all hope and faced my greatest fear - that everything in fact will not just 'be okay' - that all would not be 'lost' as I would still have the ability to decide to do whatever it takes to figure out how to change this world in fact - and in that, I would actually be doing something instead of just wasting my time lying to myself in fear
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value an experience of hope above actual action to end abuse in this world
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that starving people do not need people with money to sit around hoping for something to happen - they need a practical solution NOW
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is acceptable and fine to fuel and promote fantasies of hope, instead of realizing that in this I am fueling and promoting Apathy and Fear of actual change
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that Hope placed in fantasies of 'events' happening that will 'change things' is used as a justification to just accept everything as it is and continue a life of self interest / disempowerment
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I want to learn about a specific subject, I don't sit around hoping I will learn about it - I take the actual practical steps of buying books, visiting websites and actually studying the material to learn about the subject -- and that change in this world will thus not happen through fantasies of hope, but through actual physical practical actions
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when my pets are hungry, I do not sit around hoping for aliens or magic world leaders or higher dimensions to change the situation and eliminate my pet's hunger -- I actually move myself to feed my pet because I realize that is my responsibility and if I do not take that responsibility, my pet will die
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, throughout my day when and as I see stories of abuse / suffering / terrible things happening in the world and react with fear / sadness / helplessness, immediately imagine some 'event' happening that will 'change this' and then activate my hope character so that I can feel better -- instead of realizing that I am deliberately hiding from reality in a feeling instead of investigating the actual solutions that will end the problem
Self Corrective Commitment Statements to follow in my next post.