Day 90: Hoping for Magnificent Events to Happen
I'm having a look here at the Hope Character that I existed as in my days as a 'spiritual being'.
When I first encountered spiritual books and websites and videos, I was coming from an experience of boredom and depression, not knowing what to do with my life and why the world is the way it is, and the thing that I liked so much about the material was that there was always some message explaining how some awesome, incredible, magnificent events are in the process of unfolding, and that we are constantly 'nearing' the time when some event or other will 'finally happen'. These various 'events' all described something happening which would transform the experience of this world / oneself to one of constant fun, amazement, happiness and freedom.
Aliens doing a mass landing and taking people on board magnificent, huge spaceships to explore and learn about the universe
The earth 'ascending' into a 'higher dimension' free from suffering where only happiness and bliss exists
'Spiritually advanced' world leaders appearing and making big changes to the world, including the release of 'alien technologies' that will transform the world into a place of spaceships and free energy and end war
An 'avatar of god' (like Jesus) appearing and ushering in a 50,000 year age of peace
The end of the world / great shift into higher consciousness in 2012
So basically when one goes and reads channeled messages from all sorts of 'higher beings', they all talk about various aspects of what is 'going on behind the scenes' in terms of 'higher forces' directing the 'divine plan' which includes any or all of the above events depending on what 'being' is delivering the 'message'.
Now, in these channeled messages there are usually specific dates mentioned, in terms of when certain 'supportive events' are to occur, which will help bring the world closer to one of the above events. So for example with the 'mass landing of aliens' event, there are regular 'updates' from various 'channels aliens' that are describing various things they are busy 'moving into place' and 'aligning' and 'adjusting' in preparation for the event. Specific dates are constantly given for 'when' the mass landing will probably take place, and these dates come and go, and when nothing happens there is always another 'update' 'explaining' how the 'time wasn't right yet' due to various adjustments, alignments, preparations needing to be made, or how humanity needs to 'advance' a bit more before we will be 'ready'.
The same with the 'Spiritually advanced world leaders' point, where, whenever a political figure would emerge with a message of 'freedom and hope', or express interest in disclosing government UFO files, there would be channeled messages explaining how the person is a 'key figure' in the unfolding of 'great events', and when nothing would happen, there would be messages explaining how there are still too many 'dark forces' at work and that more 'cleanups' and 'adjustments' are still required.
And with the 'global ascension' point, where there are constant messages explaining how certain 'cosmic alignments' are assisting with a 'greater influx of energy' that is assisting lightworkers to spread more and more light and raise the vibration of the earth, and how we are 'nearing ascension' and 'more and more people are becoming awakened' and 'it's only a matter of time before we reach a tipping point where there is so much 'light' that those aligned with the 'light' will 'shift' into a parallel version of earth in a 'higher dimension''.
With the 'end of the world / great shift' in 2012, the material / messages one reads constantly refer to the 'Mayan calendar' or to certain environmental / geological / cosmic events and phenomena that are apparently indicating that something 'big' is going to happen in 2012.
So, I was spending most of my free time on the internet, reading hundreds of different 'messages' constantly talking about how these events are going to happen, and constantly giving explanations / reason / reassurances when certain events did not happen as predicted. And within this the primary experience of myself was that of Hope. Each time I would read a message explaining / describing all the awesome, magnificent changes that are going to happen as a result of some 'event', and the awesome / magnificent experiences I am going to have when the event finally does happen, I would imagine myself in the context of the event / experiences / changes being described, and would get really excited, and all my daily struggles and frustrations with how the world currently exists would just 'melt away' for a moment, as I would be filled with hope and anticipation of something 'happening'. So I would go from website to website, message to message, constantly upgrading and evolving my imagination of how I will be experiencing myself 'when the world changes', and basically this is all I did. I would go to work, hang out with friends, go shopping, go to movies, go on road trips, entertain myself - the same as I was doing before I found all these messages, but now instead of being depressed and confused with how the world currently exists, I was filled with hope as I imagined all these magnificent events happening that will 'change the world'.
I mean, there were times where a date was given for a certain event to take place, and when nothing would happen I would get depressed / discouraged and wonder why nothing is happening yet, but I would always just go back to the internet and search and search until I would find the next predicted event that seemed to 'make sense', and would then be filled with hope and anticipation again.
But as I've written about in previous posts regarding my 'spiritual awakening' and being a 'lightworker', I never had any clue as to what 'changing the world' actually practically entails / implies, because I had no understanding of how the mind works, and no understanding of the actual world / system I was in -- I had no practical understanding whatsoever of the logistics and planning and implementation involved with transforming the world into a place without struggle and frustration, no understanding even that the only force that is making this world what it is, is human beings.
And all this lack of understanding actually formed the basis of my frustration and confusion and depression in relation to how the world currently exists, though I didn't even understand that at the time - because I had simply accepted my reactions and blamed 'the world' for my experience of myself. So when I started reading messages telling me about some 'great events' that will take place, resulting in the world changing to a 'great, fun, blissful place', what I started doing was construct an elaborate imagined fantasy in which I saw myself in a 'changed world' experiencing myself as happy, free, blissful - and this became the predominant thought pattern that I existed within throughout my day. And then within this, I created the Hope Character, based on the messages constantly reassuring me that the events 'will happen', which I used to keep myself in a constant state of happiness / anticipation, and whenever something unpleasant would happen in my life, the thought / picture of myself in a 'changed world' would arise within my mind, and then my Hope Character would activate, and I would feel better.
So in my next post I will walk Self Forgiveness to show how the Hope Character in relation to all these 'magnificent events' predicted within spirituality / new age material, is purely self deception based in the separation of self from actual reality, where one then becomes so addicted to a mind illusion of feelings and pictures that one will ignore / deny the reality of the actual, real changes required to be walked to transform this world.