Day 62: Moving Without Pictures


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in order to move physically from point to point, task to task, moment to moment, breath to breath, I must first project a picture in my mind of where I am going, what I will be doing, how I will be doing it - and then, only after seeing the picture in my mind, I can then physically move - instead of realizing that, the only reason I've been doing this is because all my life I existed through and as characters in my mind, that sees the world, sees participation, sees other beings in terms of pictures with experience of feeling or emotion connected to them - where, since I from a young age defined myself in terms of experiences of positive / feeling energy and negative / emotion energy -- according to memories I created of events / experiences in which I reacted with either a positive judgment or negative judgment to what people did, what happened, what I experienced -- wherein then since I defined myself and my experience of myself through and as these reactions and experiences of feeling and emotion, I then designed myself as a character whose nature is that I will only go to where there is a positive / feeling experience and will avoid any scenario in which I might experience a negative / emotional experience. Wherein, the picture that pops into my mind immediately before the moment of moving physically to go somewhere / do something / interact with someone - is whatever memory is most closely associated with what I am about to go do, and within which I assess whether what I am about to do / where I am about to go will result in a positive / feeling experience or negative / emotional experience

Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that, as this character of feeling and emotional experiences as energy based on memories of how I reacted within / experiences events / scenarios in the past which I have stored as pictures in my mind and feeling / emotional experiences in my body -- I have never actually looked at / evaluated the physical reality of what is here from the starting point of me as a physical being here with and as the physical reality -- I only ever saw / interpreted what is here through and as the memories / pictures in my mind connected to feeling / emotional experiences - as a character in my mind

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that as this character of feeling and emotional experiences based on memories, I possessed and took hold of my physical body so extensively that every aspect of every physical movement in my life was determined by memories of positive and negative experiences as feelings and emotions -- wherein, my physical body became blind and deaf and dumb and incapable of moving unless directed by a picture as memory to, according to me as the character, go to where there are positive experiences, and stay away from where there are negative experiences -- wherein, throughout my entire life I never actually learned to live as, move as, participate as my physical body, as a physical being that would actually move itself according to seeing / understanding what is in fact here as the physical reality I am here within and with

I forgive myself that I have thus accepted and allowed myself to hold on to the addiction of creating pictures in my mind of everything I do, everything that is here, and before moving, projecting a picture in my mind of what I am about to do - in believing that, 'that is just how this works, I first see a picture in my mind, and then I move' -- instead of realizing that, as I delete a character with self forgiveness, releasing myself from the hold of the positive / negative experiences as feelings and emotions based on memories, and stand here as breath in and as my physical body - there should be darkness within - there should be no picture because -  I do not need or require a picture to now move myself as my physical body -- because, there is a whole world right here in front of my eyes, right here at my fingertips, and I as my physical body am in this world, with this world - and so I do not need to create a picture of it because the creation of pictures in the mind was only a guidance system of memories that I used as a character to steer / control my body to move according to where I can have the energetic / feeling experience I want

Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept seemingly 'insignificant' pictures that pop into my mind, where I believe it is 'fine' for them to exist because there is no feeling / emotion connected to it -- instead of realizing that, in creating pictures continually I am still occupying myself in my mind through interpreting / defining what is here through a limited understanding, and not being here fully with and as my physical body, with and as this physical reality, seeing and considering what is here as a physical being within the physical reality I am in, learning what is here, realizing I am here with billions of other beings and that these billions of other beings as this physical reality are not pictures in my mind -- where, it is now time to expand my ability to live as a physical being, through becoming aware of what is actually here as the physical, instead of constantly limiting myself into my mind bubble through creating pictures of what is here and then looking at the pictures in my mind just like photographs

I mean, when you are walking around during your day, do you carry a camera and constantly, in every moment take a picture of everything around you and then look at the pictures before taking the next step? Of course not! That is stupid, that is not necessary. So - why do we do it in our minds?? I mean, it's exactly the same thing!

I trust myself to live as a breath, moving me as my physical body in realizing I do not require a picture to move me - as I am already here with what is here and thus move myself with and as what is here

I commit myself to, when and as I encounter a point which I require to move myself within such as a job, a task, research - realize that I do not need to interpret the point as a picture, but that I can physically move myself in learning - and where I do require to calculate something or visualize something for practical purposes - that I direct my mind as a tool as it is relevant in the moment, and that I don't need to let my mind wander in wondering and imagination in order to understand something

I commit myself to, when and as I see I am imagining what I'm going to do the next moment, the next hour, the next day, and that I have not actually in awareness directed me within looking at a point that I need to do but did it automatically - I stop and bring myself back here as breath and move myself as my physical body

I commit myself to show that I do not need a photo album in my mind to access in deciding what to do - because what I do will simply be me living who I am - in and as my physical body

I commit myself to show that humanity have lost itself in alternate realities of pictures in the mind, which exists as the individual interpretation through beliefs as self interest, of what is here - and in this have lost touch with what is actually here as the physical reality that can be touched - believing reality is pictures in the mind which cannot be touched as they are not even here but are just lights and colors

I commit myself to show that the human is able to live here as the physical body, with all in the physical reality, and direct the physical reality to become a place that is best for all - in realizing that animals and plants are here and do not interpret reality as pictures through beliefs and thus in stopping the alternate reality of pictures as individual interpretations of what is here through beliefs will not result in the human becoming a useless vegetable -- but what will be required is to learn how to actually move and live as the physical body here together with each other in consideration of each other -- because throughout our lives we've never been here with our physical bodies, in our physical bodies, as our physical bodies, but have existed as a parasitic entity of self interest defined through experiences of feelings and emotions connected to memories / pictures

I commit myself to stop existing as a moving picture, and learn how to move as my actual physical body

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