Day 50: The 'I must get it all done' character


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Who I Am as 'getting it all done'


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in defining who I am as 'getting it all done', then - if I am not able to 'get it all done' because of some factor that arises within the day, I then go into a 'negative' experience as the emotion of 'I'm losing who I am, I'm not experiencing who I am' -- wherein then I go into a rushing to try to 'get it all done' so that I can experience 'who I am' as 'getting it all done' as the feeling / positive experience of and as 'ah, now I am who I am'

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself through rushing as an energetic movement / forcing of myself to 'get it all done', wherein I will actually deliberately avoid applying myself in absolute specificity within what I am doing, just so I can 'get it all done' so that at the end of the day I can feel like I have successfully achieved 'who I am' as 'I have to get it all done'

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that this character of 'I have to get it all done' is a competitor - where I go into a point of competition within myself to / towards my day, where I try to avoid any factor that will keep me from 'getting it all done' so I can win my positive energy experience of feeling like 'ah I have got it all done' at the end of the day

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from what is here to be done, into and as a character consisting of negative / emotional and positive / feeling experiences where the negative / emotional experience is 'oh no I didn't get it all done', and the positive / feeling experience is 'ah, I got it all done'

Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that, through the definition of myself as 'I must get it all done', I must firstly separate myself from what is here, manifesting a relationship within myself to / towards what is here as a point of friction as a negative experience of 'I am not yet who I am' because - I have not yet 'gotten it all done', and then, as I walk my day, completing one point at a time, existing within and as a neutral experience as I am busy capturing each completed point as a memory where, as I walk my day I am building my positive experience I have at the end of the day through having successfully accumulated as memories all the points that I completed, wherein I then, at the end of the day have achieved a positive experience as the fulfillment of my self definition as 'I have to get it all done'

Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am not really living the points as who I am as Life, as a point of self expression, but through separating myself from what is here to be done, I am living as an energetic entity that must survive as energy through accumulating daily the memories that confirm and validate 'who I am' as 'I must get it all done' - wherein, I am not living here one and equal with my physical body, physically living through self movement without energy, but I am in my mind mining the physical for energy to accumulate into an experience of 'ah, now I am who I am' -- each day going back to the negative experience as starting point, to then walk my process of accumulating memories of 'I completed the point', to, at the end of the day be able to experience 'who I am' as 'I got it all done' as the positive point

Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that within and as the definition of myself as 'I must get it all done', I have within my mind defined certain things as 'that which I must get done', and when something comes up during my day where I am not able to 'get to' one of those things that I have defined as 'I must get this point done' - I then blame the point that has arisen as having 'prevented me from being who I am' - and then try to 'get out of the point' so I can go back to the points I have defined as 'that which I must get done', so that I can continue my process of accumulating memories of having 'gotten the point done' so I can have my positive experience of 'ah, now I am who I am'

Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I manifest myself as a judge that judge that which does not fit into my process of memory accumulation to achieve the experience of 'who I am' as 'I got it all done', as 'negative', and where I judge that which fits within my definition of 'that which I must get done' and so forms one of the points I must accumulate a memory of once I have completed it, as 'positive' - where, I judge it as 'positive' because it supports me to have my positive experience of 'ah, I have got it all done, I am experiencing who I am'

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in self interest within the desire to have an experience of 'I have achieved who I am and now can experience myself as being who I am' according to my definition of myself as 'I must get it all done' -- wherein, I was not living here as Life in self expression, one and equal with what is here, simply applying the consideration of what is best for all as I move through my day, but I was in my mind judging everything within my day as either 'negative' or 'positive' according to what I had defined a 'that which I must get done' within my definition of myself as 'I must get it all done' -- wherein, I was not living what is best for all - I was living as a character consisting of self interest as the desire to have a positive experience dependent upon me 'doing what needs to be done' to fulfill my self definition

I realize that when I define Who I Am as 'getting it all done', I am immediately separating myself from what is here, making myself a judge where I will then judge what is here as positive or negative based on whether it supports me to fulfill my self definition so I can have the experience that 'I am who I am' - and thus I commit myself to stop defining Who I Am as an experience of 'doing', and to live Who I Am as Life, as a Breath, as Self Honesty, as Self Expression, as what is best for all - where then, what I 'do' will flow from Who I Am as a point of Self Expression, Self Movement, without judgment, without a positive or negative experience - instead of Who I Am being an experience of 'what I do'

When and as I find myself going into a negative experience or positive experience to / toward a point within my day, I immediately stop and look at where / how I have defined the point in separation of myself as a 'doing' which either supports or does not support a definition of myself that I have designed around particular points of 'doing' where I am then judging the point as either 'negative' or 'positive' based on whether it supports me to fulfill / experience my self definition -- and I delete the self definition, stop all judgments, let go of the experience, and stand one and equal with the point, integrating it Here as Me and return to Living here as life simply applying self honesty in seeing what is best for all as I move through my day

When and as I find myself rushing within an emotion of 'urgency' to 'get this done' - I stop and realize I am accessing / participating as a character based on a self definition where I have defined Who I Am as an experience of 'doing' certain things in order to have an experience of 'who I am', and I identify the self definition and the desired experience within the self definition, and delete the self definition and delete the memory of the experience of 'Who I Am' as the self definition, and stand one and equal with the point I am working with, integrating it here as Me as Life, and move myself in Self Expression within the point wherein then I give myself the ability to be specific and effective in living what is Best for All within and as the point - so that I do not compromise my effectiveness in living what is best for all through allowing myself to be influenced by the desire for an experience

I commit myself to stop existing as a competitor with / to / towards what is here through defining myself through and as the 'doing' of certain things, wherein I will then compete with time, compete with the factors that arise within my day, and devise strategies to try to avoid the obstacles / hurdles as the factors that would 'prevent me' from successfully fulfilling my self definition so I can experience 'who I am' as 'what I do' -- within realizing that in this I am accepting and allowing the same point of competition to exist in everyone within this world resulting in the neglect and abuse of life through the obsession with 'doing what I have to do' at all costs, so that I can 'experience who I am' as my self definition

I commit myself to, when and as I see I am creating memories of what I am doing - immediately stop and investigate whether I am creating memories as part of the process of accumulating / creating a positive experience of 'experiencing who I am' based on remembering that I have successfully 'done' what I 'need to do' to 'be who I am' as a 'doing' -- and I stop and delete the memory, and delete the self definition, and stand one and equal with what is here, integrating what is here as me as Life - wherein I simply move myself as Life in every moment of breath in Self Expression within Self Honesty within the consideration of what is best for all life -- wherein, what I do / the outcome of my day will not be an experience I have at the end of the day of 'knowing' through having created / accumulated memories of what I've 'done', but the outcome of my day will be that which I have Lived one and equal as Me - and wherein I am living for / within / as each moment of Breath in timelessness - not living for an experience of 'knowing' that I have 'done something' through creating / accumulating memories

I commit myself to stop existing as an energetic entity I create as 'experience' based on a self definition of myself achieved / perpetuated through 'doing' certain things -- within realizing that in this I am supporting / accepting and allowing the same starting point in everyone - and the consequence we have created as a world of abuse and neglect of life because no one is considering life or living as as life within what is best for all, but everyone is obsessed / preoccupied with having an 'experience' based on a self definition where self was defined through and as an experience of energy - instead of self defining and living self within and as what is best for all as Life

When and as I find myself blaming a point within my day as 'preventing me from experiencing / being who I am' -- I stop and realize I am accessing a definition of myself where I have defined who I am as an experience of 'doing' - wherein I am faced with a point that does not fit within what I have defined as what 'I do' - and thus have a negative experience toward the point because it is not supporting me to accumulate / create my experience of 'who I am' through 'doing' the things that 'I do' -- and I identify the self definition and delete it, let go of the memory of the experience of 'doing what I do' based on the self definition, and stop all judgment to / towards the point I am working with, and stand one and equal with the point, integrating it Here as Me as Life and simply move myself in self expression as a breath, within Self Honesty as the consideration of what is best for all life within the context I am working with

For more context read Heaven's Journey to Life



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