Day 36: Deconstructing My UFO Experience
I'll now be walking through all of the Spiritual experiences I've had in my life, which also includes UFO experiences, having a look at how I actually experienced myself within each Spiritual experience. With each Spiritual experience I will, through the writing of Self Forgiveness in Self Honesty, take Self Responsibility to uncover how I actually created my experience, from the starting point of Standing Here as Breath, in my Physical Body, Here on this Physical Earth, considering what is actually Best for myself as Life as All as One as Equal, and through the Self Forgiveness, release myself from all patterns of experiences I allowed myself to create in Separation of Myself as All Life through ideas / beliefs / definitions / values, desires designed within the starting point of considering only 'my experience', and through Self Corrective Self Commitment statements, aligning myself with new patterns that will support me in producing a world that is Best for All.
The first experience I'm looking at is one where I looked up one night and saw a bright blue light flash across the sky. After I saw this I immediately experienced fascination, wonder, awe, excitement - I was thrilled. But where did this experience come from? Why would seeing a blue light flash across the sky 'fill me' with awe, wonder, and excitement?
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the reason I reacted with a feeling of awe and excitement when I saw the blue light, was because I had already conditioned / programmed myself to react with awe and excitement to things that represent the 'mystery of the unknown', through having spent years watching, reading about, and hearing stories about people's encounters with UFOS, aliens, mysterious, unexplained events, and had within this, gone into my mind and created an elaborate imagined world in which I fantasized about seeing / experiencing such 'mysterious unknown' phenomena myself, where, it made my life more entertaining to exist in a constant hope / belief that 'one day I may see and experience something like that' -- and then, when I did see a phenomena that was aligned with my fantasies of 'mysterious unknown phenomena' that I hoped I would see - I immediately reacted with excitement, awe, happiness, amazement -- because I was seeing my 'fantasy come true'
Thus, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize and see that I had already programmed in the pattern of reacting to 'mysterious, unexplained phenomena' with excitement, awe, fascination -- and that seeing a blue light flash across the sky thus merely served as a trigger point which activated through stimulus, a feeling experience within me
Thus, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I had never been exposed to any material whatsoever about UFOs, and 'unknown and mysterious unexplained phenomena', and had never created an elaborate imagined fantasy world in my mind where I hoped I would see a UFO / experience mysterious phenomena, that I would not have placed the same significance / value in seeing the blue light --- the blue light would not have served as a stimulus point to trigger / activate an existing pattern of excitement / fascination with the unknown
Thus I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that there was nothing inherently 'magnificent', 'special', 'fascinating' about the blue light itself -- but that such experiences I had toward the blue light I had programmed into myself as a pattern based on the values / beliefs I had connected with 'unexplained phenomena'
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize and see that in accepting myself to exist within and as a starting point of focusing only on seeking out 'unexplained phenomena', and 'mysterious events' from the starting point of wanting / desiring to have an experience of fascination / wonder / excitement / thrill / adrenaline, I create a relationship with myself to / toward this world where I see the world as a stage to be used for my entertainment - where, through creating a relationship with / to / toward the 'unknown', and 'the mysterious' within myself of fascination / excitement / thrill / wonder, and focusing on seeking out 'the unknown', and 'the mysterious' from the starting point of wanting to 'feel fascinated / excited / thrilled', I am not at all focusing on what is actually relevant to focus on -- which is the abuse / conflict / neglect of each other / the Earth that is currently accepted and allowed as human nature -- which requires a solution
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that, in accepting and allowing myself to design myself within and as the pattern of seeking out the unknown / mysterious to stimulate an experience of excitement / fascination / wonder / thrill within myself -- I forgot the reason I actually created this pattern in the first place - which was that I actually saw there are problems with this world, problems with our relationships with each other and the Earth -- but since I did not understand or realize how we came to exist as we do, and how we need to change, and allowed myself to go into an experience of powerlessness / helplessness, I started then looking for 'something more' - something to indicate that there is some kind of other world I could experience -- and thus why I became fascinated with UFOS / the unknown / the mysterious -- because it represented 'something more', and I then used the unknown / mysterious to make myself feel like I am catching a glimpse of a 'different world', and started pursuing and fantasizing about the mysterious and unknown in the hope that maybe I will be able to leave this world completely and enter into a mysterious, unknown, 'other world' -- wherein, when I saw a blue light flashing across the sky, it felt like I was closer to achieving my desire to leave this world and escape into another world
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as I saw the blue light flash across the sky, interpret it as a 'sign' that 'the world is changing'
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the reason I interpreted the blue light as a 'sign that the world is changing', is because I had already conditioned myself to connect UFOs / mysterious phenomena with 'change', because I had spent hours reading websites describing how UFOs and aliens surrounded the Earth and were watching over humanity, waiting to contact us because we are in a time where humanity is 'advancing', and the aliens are waiting for us to advance to a certain point before contacting us and ushering in a 'new world' where we will 'join the galactic family' of aliens
Thus, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the only reason I had an experience of seeing the blue light as a sign that the world is changing, was because I had programmed myself with knowledge / ideas / stories / beliefs about UFOs / lights in the sky / unexplained phenomena describing how aliens are contacting us because we as humanity are 'advancing' and 'changing'
Within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize and see that there was actually no indication in the daily events of the world, that we as humanity were 'changing', because day by day war, poverty, starvation, conflict, abuse continued and no one had stepped forth with a solution
I forgive myself that I have thus within this not accepted and allowed myself to realize that in occupying myself within my mind with an experience of fascination / wonder / excitement in relation to UFOs / unexplained phenomena, I had separated myself from the physical reality of what is going on in this world, and actually did not understand the extent of the problem on Earth because I had never investigated it, and did not understand the extent of the practical change that is required to sort out this world, because I had never investigated what practical changes are required to sort out this world -- I had only investigated stories about UFOs and unexplained phenomena because it gave me an experience of excitement / entertainment / thrill -- wherein I allowed myself to focus only on my experience, and did not see and realize that I actually understood nothing of how the world system works, how we as humanity created a world where poverty, starvation and war exists, and how we must change ourselves, and had abdicated my responsibility for this world to an idea that 'humanity is advancing and will be contacted by aliens', and so allowed myself to exist in hope of a future experience in which 'everything has changed'
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I actually valued my experience of excitement / thrill / wonder / fascination with UFOs and unexplained phenomena, more than Life and thus did not consider Life, did not consider how to support Life on Earth, but instead considered only how I can see UFOs and unexplained phenomena so I can have an experience of excitement / thrill / wonder / fascination
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I was seeing the blue light in the sky, and having an experience of excitement / fascination / wonder / thrill - I was not Here, Breathing with and as my Physical Body, with the Earth, in awareness of what is going on on Earth, but I was in my mind as the energy of 'my experience' -- not actually considering the physical experience of all beings here on Earth in the Physical Reality
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that in accepting myself to exist within the starting point of focusing only in 'my experience' of energy, I am also accepting and allowing everyone else in the world to focus only on 'their experience' of energy -- within this accepting and allowing everyone to continue existing in separation from what we are actually allowing as the physical reality of what is going on every day on Earth
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that in everyone existing within a starting point of focusing only on 'my experience' of energy - and using my time / money / resources to seek out the things that give 'me the experience I like having', we are not advancing / changing at all -- not practically changing this world to a place that is best for all -- but are allowing the problems in this world to continue because we are not focusing on practical solutions to make this world a place that supports everyone, we are only focusing on our own self interest of the 'experience I like having'
I commit myself to stop my obsession with the unknown and unexplained phenomena, and start valuing Life instead, and focusing on investigating what practical solutions are required to make this world a place that supports Life
I commit myself to, when and as I am reading website and books, be here in every moment of breath with and as my physical body, here in the physical reality aware that I am here with billions of other beings, and apply self honesty in seeing where / when I start to go into my mind and create fantasies / desires / hopes / beliefs as an alternate reality -- and then stop myself and bring myself back here to breath, here to the physical reality and focus on what is relevant - which is practical, physical solutions for this world that support Life
I commit myself to remind myself always that although there may be unexplained phenomena in this world -- such phenomena does not take priority over our responsibility to support Life and stop the abuse in this world -- but is only personal entertainment that should not be valued above Life
I commit myself to walk a process of Self Honest Self Investigative writing to identify all the beliefs, fantasies, ideas, hopes, desires I've created in my mind in relation to UFOs and unexplained phenomena, and to remove them with Self Forgiveness so I can return Here to Earth in the Physical and stop existing in an alternate reality in my mind in separation of the physical reality of Earth that we require to take Responsibility for