Day 30: Forgotten Secrets of the Lightworker



I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I became a lightworker  because I didn't fit in to 'normal' activities / lifestyles that I saw other people busying themselves with, and in my listlessness / boredom with life, found in Spirituality / New Age a lifestyle, a set of activities, a way to stylize myself that I related to, because Spirituality / New Age told me that lightworkers / starseeds / indigos often experience themselves as 'out of place', and 'misfits', and so when I heard this I immediately liked it because I liked the story / explanation that the reason I felt out of place, is because I am an advanced, old soul that chose to come here to Earth for an important mission to spread light around the world

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I didn't actually 'remember' that I was a lightworker, but that I only 'remembered' once I heard the stories that told me that I am here to 'remember' I am a lightworker, and that my 'memory' of 'choosing to come here to be a lightworker', looked exactly like the stories / description / pictures I read about - and that thus I actually created this 'memory' using knowledge and information = I didn't have the memory until I had the vocabulary / imagery to build it in my mind = no different from a person 'remembering' that they are part of a particular family / culture because they were told they were by their parents / teachers -- within this, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I was actually brainwashed by the stories telling me I am a lightworker -- because, the idea of a lightworker did not come from me - it came from knowledge and information I was exposed to and then believed in / accepted as myself because it supported a point of self interest in myself as some desire / want

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I didn't even notice that within the stories / messages of lightworkers, there was never any mention of doing what is Best for All Life in the practical context of the Physical Reality called Earth which is where there is massive suffering taking place daily, there was only ever mention of taking 'action' through and within my own mind by participating in ideas / stories / imagination of visualizing light, love, colors, energy, and that I simply accepted that this is apparently making a difference because it was so easy -- I only had to begin using my imagination, I didn't have to consider any practical logistics in terms of what it would actually take to support Life / make sure we have a supportive system on earth for All Equally

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that part of the reason I liked the idea of being a lightworker, was because I had judged the physical reality of Earth to be 'boring' / less than / not enough, and being a lightworker opened up a whole new alternate reality of entertainment as pictures, images, stories, feelings, beliefs in which I as a lightworker was 'so much more' than the physical reality', and was filled with hope and excitement because I believed that after death awaited a place where I will be able to fly around and not have to deal with any of the practical, physical conditions I am subject to on Earth -- thus, one of the reasons I so readily accepted the idea of being a lightworker is because I judged the Physical Reality as 'not enough for me', because I didn't like the idea of having to be subject to what I am subject to in the Physical

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I do not need light, colors, feelings, the picture of myself as a lightworker in my mind, a special purpose given to me by god / the creator, or any belief or idea about the afterlife, to walk Here in the Physical and take the steps of working together with other Humans in designing a new world system that is best for all Life that will remove the current problems of abuse in this world caused by money -- and that the only reason I would be unwilling to give up my mental reality in which I am a lightworker character, is because I value the idea of myself as a lightworker, more than supporting Life on Earth practically, Physically, Actually

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the Physical Reality to be boring / not enough / less than -- instead of realizing that the Physical is where my entire lightworker persona comes from -- because I receive energy from the Physical / Earth that I use in generating the ideas, pictures, thoughts, feelings, stories in my mind of me as a lightworker

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the Physical reality as less than / not enough, when I have been given Life by the Earth which is the Physical Reality

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that as a lightworker I am taking energy from the Earth to use in the creation of ideas and stories and imagination that makes me feel good / entertains me - while I am not actually giving back to Life / the Earth Equal to the Life I was Given, in ensuring that All Beings on Earth are born into a system that provides access to the unconditional Support the Earth provides -- and in this I am supporting the current economic system that takes from the Earth to serve / support only Self Interest as profit

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the emergence of spirituality / new age / lightworkers as more and more of a popular and widespread lifestyle, is not indicating a shift in awareness to a more responsible Human Race, but is only indicating the emergence of spirituality / new age / lightworkers as part of mainstream consumerism -- where, in spite of the emergence of spirituality / new age / lightworkers as more of a mainstream lifestyle, NO practical change is taking place within the system whatsoever - those in power continue to abuse life for profit as those participating in Spirituality only FEEL like they are making a difference, because they have decided in their minds, that by FEELING GOOD, I am changing the world -- even though it is obvious that feelings / ideas / pictures in my mind cannot feed the starving or design a new world system -- which is why spirituality as a mainstream lifestyle is Allowed, and Promoted in mainstream media -- because those in power understand that the spiritual human remains a consumer that uses money in pursuit of happiness with no practical understanding of how to change the system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that change in the world is a process of evolution of people gradually understanding how to make themselves feel good, instead of realizing that change in the world is a process of physical actions that must be taken in designing a new system that supports everyone, and that to do this, I have to focus here in and with the Physical Reality and not try to escape the physical through mental projected ideas and beliefs about the afterlife

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being here in the physical, without an entertaining mental alternate reality playing all the time in my head

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny my origin / source as the Physical Reality, because I judged the Physical Reality to be boring / scary

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I don’t need to feel like I 'fit in' with everyone else, in order to Live, and that I can stop defining my experience of myself through feelings, and just be Here as Life in the Physical in every moment of Breath

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am not here to exist in hope / expectation of an experience of freedom from the physical through being a lightworker, but that I am here to Learn how to support all Life on Earth and stop hiding from Responsibility

I commit myself to stop judging the Physical Reality as boring, and stand Equal and One with the Physical, so that I can focus on Giving Life to All Equal through a new world system, instead of just taking what I've been given and using it for my own entertainment

I commit myself to stop limiting my definition of Life to pictures, colors, ideas, stories that make me feel good, so I can stop using what the Earth provides me to fuel / support my limited definition of Life, and take Responsibility to ensure All Life on Earth is supported

I commit myself to, through a process of Self Honest Self Investigative Writing, evaluate my starting point in being a lightworker, and investigate what experiences / thoughts / feelings / emotions / reactions influenced me in deciding I like the idea of being a lightworker - and take responsibility with Self Forgiveness to remove any thoughts, judgments, beliefs, ideas about the physical Reality of Earth that would cause me to create an alternate reality in my mind to entertain myself with, believing that being here in and with the Physical as Earth, is 'not enough'

I commit myself stop the addiction to using ideas / beliefs / stories in my mind to make myself feel special / important / significant / relevant, and to investigate how to make myself relevant / important to Life on Earth through doing what is Best for All Life on Earth - which will be a mission of learning to give Life to All Equal, as I received Life from the Earth


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