Day 25: Removing the Automated Resistance to Change



Working with the pattern of giving in to the resistance to working on SRA. SRA is Structural Resonance Alignment - the course I am walking in which I work with self honesty and self forgiveness in assisting and supporting myself to stop myself existing as the limitations / self interest / separation of and as energy as patterns of thoughts, feelings, and emotions that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as, and align myself through practical re-patterning with what is best for all life.

Judgments:

I judge myself when I give in to the resistance to working on SRA every day consistently

Backchat:

It doesn't really matter that I don't do it every day anyway

I don't really care if my process takes longer

There's so much other stuff to do, I can't be expected to work on this every day

Reactions:

I go into impatience when sitting down to work on SRA


SELF FORGIVENESS

Judgments:

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I judge myself for giving in to the resistance, I am saying that there's something wrong with who I am, that I am 'bad', within this actually accepting myself to keep giving in to the resistance beause in judging myself I have to decide that I will keep falling on the point, so that I can look at myself as that, and judge myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself instead of realizing that I can change in the moment of breath, because in the moment of breath is when / where I decide who I am


Backchat:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought : 'it doesn't really matter that I don't do it every day' to exist within and as me as a point of justification as to why I should keep allowing my decision about working on SRA to be determined by how I feel
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought of: 'I don't really care if my process takes longer' to exist wtihin and as me as a point of justification as to why I should keep allowing feelings / resistance / reactions to determine my decision to work on SRA

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to care about myself enough to decide to support myself and all as one as equal in every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the process of all as one as equal to take longer, in allowing myself to deliberately make my process take longer

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought of : 'there's so much other stuff to do, I can't be expected to work on this every day' to exist within and as me as a point of justification I use in defense of why I should be allowed to do what I feel like instead of doing what needs to be done, in this case, SRA

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the backchat I allow as justifications as to why I should do what I feel like instead of supporting myself effectively in every moment, is the mind personality of self interest as energy, that I have programmed into and as myself, and that such justifications that arise within me is not 'ME', but is the energy personality of self interest that I programmed as myself, to automatically protect its survivalthrough justifications

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as the backchat / justifications arise within my mind as thoughts, believe that because it is in my mind, it must be worthy of listening to / following, instead of realizing that the thoughts that arise in my head are designed as separation from physical living that is best for all - as evidenced by the fact that they are always based in points of personality that I have allowed in me of self interest designed within energetic polarity of feelings and emotions

Reactions:

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the impatience that arise when I sit down to work on SRA, is a preprogrammed reaction I have programmed into myself as an automatic protection mechanism for me as my mind of energy / self interest to protect its survival through generating emotions that indicate 'that's not where I'm supposed to go'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as the emotion of impatience arise within me when sitting down to work on SRA, believe in the emotion as a valid indicator that I am 'not supposed to / don't have to' do that, instead of realizing that I do not have to allow feelings and emotions to determine what I do, as what I do is determined by who I decide I am in every moment of breath, and thus I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to, when and as impatience arise within me, stop myself, not participate in the emotion, but breathe and stand within the decision to support myself / live self honesty / be here as breath / integrate the point as self expression


SELF CORRECTIVE STATEMENTS


Judgments:

When and as I find myself going into judgment of myself when I have given into the resistance to working on SRA, I stop, bring myself back to breath, look at what decision I allowed to be directed by energy / backchat, and when and as I sit down to work on SRA again, make sure I am breathing and decide to support myself, and not allow energy to make decisions for me


Backchat:

I stop accepting and allowing backchat / justifications as to why I should not have to work on SRA every day, in realizing that the backchat was based on a personality of self interest as energy I programmed into and as myself through my mind. When and as backchat arise in relation to SRA - I stop, bring myself here to breath, and decide to live self support and self honesty, and I stop deciding to support a personality of self interest as energy to exist within me

Reactions:

When and as impatience arise within me in relation to SRA, I stop, bring myself here to breath, realize I have accessed an emotion I automated as a way to justify through an unpleasant experience why I should do what I feel as self interest, and I move myself as breath in living the decision to support myself in self honesty.

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I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that in accepting and allowing even one point of backchat to exist within me, as the justifications / blame / reasoning / reactions that I have automated as the defense mechanisms of my personality of self interest / feelings as to 'why' I should not have to do what is best for all, and 'why' my world / reality / other people should support what I feel / want == that I am accepting and allowing the entire system of self interest as energy of thoughts, feelings, emotions, through which humanity as energy personalities has fucked up this world and abuses / neglects / allows the destruction of the Earth to fuel / preserve / maintain the generation / perpetuation of ourselves as energy / personalities of self interest.

I commit myself to remove all backchat from myself, remove all personality from myself, remove all emotions and feelings from myself, and stop believing the lie of energy that it 'must be of value' just because it arises within me - in spite of the clear evidence that we have used energy as feelings and emotions to manipulate ourselves into acceping the abuse because as long as I can preoccupy myself with feeling good / feeling at ease, then I can comfortably ignore what is going on in this world - wherein, in allowing feelings as motivation, we never move ourselves to investigate the details of how we've fucked up this world and never move ourselves to create a solution

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I will experience resistance to changing myself / stopping my self interest, and that the resistance itself is my self interest saying 'don't kill me' -- and that my self interest uses energy as feelings and emotions and backchat to try and justify its existence, and as long as I believe in the energy, believe that it is who I am, then I will allow my self interest to survive. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I am here as the stability and constancy of Breath in every moment, then I am here with the physical and within each moment of being here as breath, I have the ability to stop myself from allowing automated patterns of energy to determine what I do, and can decide in every moment to support myself in becoming what is best for all, in writing out the pattern, doing self forgiveness, writing out self corrective statements and commitments, and then deciding in every moment of breath to live the self correction, stopping myself from participating in energy in every moment, where I will then eventually automate a new pattern of living / walking here as breath in the physical in self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that automating new patterns that are best for all is the same as learning a new skill - there is resistance at first, but once it's automated, it's easy - I just have to make a decision about who I am in every moment - a decision aligned with what is best for all -- just as when learning any other new skill, I have to make a decision aligned with what is necessary to do to learn the skill.

I commit myself to walk as breath, stable as the physical, and to, when and as energy arise in me as thoughts, feelings, and emotions, trace it to its origin and remove the pattern with self forgiveness and establish a new pattern that is best for all through practical, structured self corrective statements and commitments.


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