Day 24: I'm Too Skinny

'I'm too skinny'
SELF FORGIVENESS 
Judgments:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body to be 'too skinny', and to within this also constantly believe that I must be eating wrong. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body for not gaining weight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body as not supporting me effectively, instead of realizing that in judging myself / my body I am the one not supporting myself

Backchat:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to look more muscular, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I looked more muscular, then I would be able to express myself more, instead of realizing that whether I look muscular or not does not determine my self expression - I determine my self expression

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to look imposing to others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be physcially superior to others in strength and stature

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being physically superior to others in strength and stature will improve my self expression

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought of 'I must be skinny because there's some point where I'm not supporting myself which I don't see', to exist within and as me, thus manifesting myself in a constant search for the 'missing point', instead of just being here, living and expressing in every moment in self honesty as breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the idea that 'If I gained weight then I would look like I am supposed to look' to exist within and as me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an idea that I am 'supposed to' look bigger, more muscular, with more fat, instead of just unconditionally being here with and as my body, living and expressing in every moment in self honesty as breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the male body is supposed to look large and muscular

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed by the media to believe that the male body is supposed to look large and muscular, because that is the example shown in the media, and I had accepted this definition of the male body because I was not here, breathing, in self honesty using common sense

Reactions:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the way I look when I see myself in the mirror, and to immediately access a point of comparison between my body and the male bodies I've seen in the media, and to then judge my body as inadequate and go into disappointment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the way my body looks when I see it in the mirror, with an emotional experience of disappointment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to compare my body to other male bodies when I allowed myself to believe that the way my body is supposed to look is large and muscular

When and as I find myself judging my body as being too skinny - I stop, bring myself back to breath, realize I have accessed a judgment out of habit, and I stop participating and let go of the judgment

When and as I am eating / preparing food, and find myself accessing ideas and thoughts about how I could eat to gain weight - I stop, bring myself back to breath and realize I have accessed the judgment about my body being too skinny, and I stop participating, let go of the judgment, and focus on eating to support my body as is required in the moment, instead of supporting the judgment / idea that my body is too skinny

When and as I find myself judging my body for not gaining weight, I stop, bring myself back to breath, and realize I have accessed a judgment that my body is too skinny and have gone into blame toward my body, for my own experience of inadequacy - thus I take responsibility for my experience toward my body, and I stop blaming my body, let go of the judgment that my body is too skinny, and allow myself to just be here with and as my body unconditionally, as breath

When and as I find myself judging my body for not supporting me effectively, I stop bring myself back to breath and realize I am actually blaming my body for not supporting my desire to look large and muscular - thus I take responsibility for my experience toward my body, and I stop blaming my body, let go of the idea that the male body is supposed to look large and muscular, let go of the desire to look large and muscular, and allow myself to just be here with and as my body unconditionally as breath

Backchat:
When and as I find myself accessing the idea that if I looked large and muscular I would be able to express myself more, I stop, bring myself back to breath, and realize I am accessing this idea out of habit and that I allowed myself to be programmed to think this through believing what I saw in the media, and I realize that the way I look does not determine my self expression

When and as I find myself accessing the desire to look and be physically larger and more imposing than other males - I stop, bring myself back to breath and realize I have accessed a desire I allowed myself to be programmed with through believing what I saw in the media where large and muscular males are more confident and enjoy themselves more, and I realize that the way I look does not determine my enjoyment or confidence, and I let go of this idea and allow myself to be here with and as my body unconditionally as breath

When and as I find myself accessing the belief / thought that there must be some point I am missing where I am not supporting myself, I stop, bring myself back to breath and realize I allowed myself to project my own desire to look large and muscular onto my process of self honesty, and I stop this projection, let go of the desire, and allow myself to be here and just live and express in self honesty in every moment as breath

When and as I find myself accessing the idea / belief / thought that the male body is supposed to look large and muscular, I stop, bring myself back to breath and realize that I have accessed this idea / belief / thought out of habit because I allowed myself to believe what I saw in the media that males are supposed to look large and muscular, and I let go of any thought, idea, point of comparison and allow myself to just be here with and as my body unconditionally as breath

Reactions:
When and as I find myself looking in the mirror at my body and reacting with disappointment and comparing myself to other males - I stop, bring myself back to breath and realize I am accessing this comparison and disappointment out of habit because I allowed myself to believe that unless I look like the males I saw in the media, then I am inadequate / abnormal, and I stop participating in comparison and disappointment, let it go and allow myself to just be here unconditionally with and as my body as breath


'My feet are ugly looking'
SELF FORGIVENESS 

Judgments:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my feet to be 'ugly looking', instead of realizing that I allowed myself to be programmed to judge my feet when I allowed myself to believe that my feet are supposed to look like the ones I saw in the media as 'picture perfect feet', or else I will be rejected by others and judged to be ugly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a negative value judgment with my feet, and to within this manifest a reaction of disgust / disappointment when I look at my feet, instead of realizing that the way my feet look only matter in the world of value judgments placed on the physical as a picture based on polarity of 'attractive / ugly' in separation of myself as the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as I see my feet, immediately go into backchat / thoughts of 'if others were to see my feet they would think they look weird and ugly' -- and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own judgments of my feet onto others because I allowed myself to compare the way my feet look, with the way others feet look - especially those whose feet look like the 'picture perfect feet' I saw in the media

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my feet are 'supposed to look like' the ones I saw in the media as the 'picture perfect' feet, and to believe the judgments / reactions I saw and heard in the media of people looking at less than picture perfect feet and saying 'that is ugly and gross' instead of realizing that it has nothing to do with what the feet look like - because it is just self judgment / fears of what others might think of self, projected onto others to try and belittle another and protect one's own feeling of superiority / attractiveness as ego

Reactions: 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as I walk around barefoot, react in fear when someone is nearby, and to start thinking 'what if they see my feet as ugly? What if they tell me my feet look weird?'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as I see my feet in the mirror, react and immediately judge my feet as 'ugly and weird', and to then go into further reaction of disappointment and discomfort until I put socks on

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to judge my feet as ugly, because I did not want to give up the hope of feeling like the ideal / picture perfect body, and so allowed myself to hold onto the judgment about my feet

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within fear of being rejected / ridiculed if others were to see my feet

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I manifested / allowed the fear of rejection if others were to see my feet, when I accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen as 'attractive' and 'picture perfect' so I could get girls and sex

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire for others to see me in their minds as 'attractive and picture perfect', and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define self acceptance as 'only possible if others see me in their minds as attractive and picture perfect', wherein self acceptance is then a 'feeling good about myself' because 'I know I can get sex and relationships' because in the minds of others 'I am worthy of being in a relationship with and having sex with'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself through and as what others think of me in their minds

SELF CORRECTIVE STATEMENTS
Judgments:
When and as I am naked or barefoot, I breathe myself here into and as my whole body, and let go of any urge that arises to judge my feet, realizing the urge to judge my feet only comes up out of habit because I programmed myself to judge my feet when I allowed myself to believe the value judgments placed on feet of attractive / ugly that I saw in the media / heard other people talking about

When and as I find myself reacting with disgust or disappointment when seeing my feet, I stop myself and breathe myself here into and as my whole physical body, and realize that my feet are a part of my physical body, and that any value judgment of positive / negative placed on my feet is an act of trying to maky my feet more or less than what they actually are in physical reality which is not possible except as a feeling or emotional experience as energy within and as my own mind, and I breathe and do not allow myself to participate in false realities of value judgments and energy, but instead allow myself to be here unconditionally with and as my whole body

Backchat:
When and as I find myself comparing the way my feet look with others feet in my mind as pictures - I stop and breathe myself here into and as my whole body and do not accept or allow myself to participate in a false reality of value judgements, pictures and energy in my mind, and I let go of comparison and allow myself to be here unconditionally with and as my whole body

When and as I find myself accessing the belief / idea / thought that my feet are 'supposed to' look like the 'picture perfect feet' I saw in the media - I stop and realize I am accessing a belief / idea / thought that I allowed myself to program myself with when I allowed myself to believe what the media presented that my feet are supposed to look like the picture perfect 'attractive feet' that other people give compliments about and say 'wow that is attractive', or else I will be rejected by others

When and as I find myself thinking about what others might think about my feet - I stop and realize my feet are not thoughts in my mind or someone else's mind - my feet are here as part of my physical body

Reactions: 
When and as I am walking around barefoot and a thought / reaction arise within my head toward / about my feet - I stop, realize I am accessing thoughts and reactions I had allowed myself to program myself with, and I breathe myself here into and as my whole body and let go of the thought / reaction and allow myself to be here unconditionally with and as my whole body

When and as I see my feet in the mirror and any thought / reaction arises in my head toward / about my feet, I stop and realize I am accessing a thought / reaction I allowed myself to program myself with and I do not participate - I breathe myself here into and as my whole body, let go of the thought / reaction and allow myself to be here unconditionally with and as my whole body

When and as I find myself accessing thoughts / desires about wanting to look like the 'picture perfect body' I saw in the media - I stop and realize I am accesssing the thought / desire / out of habit, and I breathe myself here into and as my whole body, let go of the thought / desire / want, realizing it is based in a false reality of value judgments with feelings and emotions attached to them, in separation of me here as the physical, and I allow myself to be here unconditioanlly with and as my whole body

When and as I find myself accessing / going into fear of being rejected by others if they were to see my feet, I stop and realize I am accessing the fear out of habit based on the idea / belief that self acceptance is defined by how others see me / judge me in their minds, and I breathe myself here into and as my whole body and let go of the fear, realizing - there is nothing to fear, and I allow myself to be here unconditionally with and as my whole body

------

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that in separating ourselves from the physical reality through a mind reality of value judgments based on polarity of, in our minds defining the physical reality as either more than or less than what is actually in fact here, we are creating an entire unnecessary alternate version of Earth and humanity and animals and nature in our own minds -- and that each of the 7 billion people on Earth have such an alternate reality in their own mind, thus manifesting a world of complete separation from the simplicity of living here together with and as and in the physical -- which is how we've fucked up the world and why our relationships are fucked up = we're not here in the physical living and expressing as the physical in support of ourselves as the physical, but are in our minds as CONsciousness.

I commit myself to show through self forgiveness and self corrective statements based in self honestly investigating my own mind, how we've separated ourselves from the simplicity of physical living here equal and one as the living physical, through a mental CON reality called CONsciousness that exists as value judgments that attempt to make the physical more than what it is, and through which we have defined self expression and living through and as energy as feelings and emotions based on delusional definitions of what is here, and how we can stop the CON through redefining living within common sense as the physical, transforming ourselves from a COnsciousness individual, to a Physical Individual that lives in support / consideration of All as the Physical.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Day 352: Living Equality in Daily Life - Part 3

Day 332: Living the gifts of your unique circumstance