Day 21: Stopping Friendships and Becoming a Friend to Life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a definition of friendship to exist in this world, that is not based on what it means to be a friend to all life, but instead is defined by two or more people who support each other's similar beliefs, personalities, interests, preferences, tastes, judgments
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed an individual to exist that does not include all life as itself, but instead only exists as definitions of self that include interests and activities and lifestyles that one can participate in within the context of accepting the current world system to exist
Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed an individual to exist that needs to and wants to validate its limited self definitions through forming relationships with other individuals who have similar self definitions
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I decide that who I am is Life, and integrate all Life as Self, and align my thoughts, words, and actions with what is Best for All Life as myself, then friendships as the relationship between similar personalities defined as less than all Life, are no longer necessary or relevant - as I become the friend to myself as Life - and then it is a matter of assisting and supporting all beings to stop their limited self definition that does not include all life, and to realize that when we all decide we are Life and live within what is Best for All - then friendship becomes irrelevant as all are Equally a Friend to Life as themselves, and give to each other as Life as Themselves, the Best of everything
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself into and as a limited personality consisting of 'my interests, preferences, tastes, judgments, lifestyle', and to make the purpose of my life to find similar personalities to my own that I can form relationships with so I don't 'feel alone'
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I only feel alone because I have not included myself in Life - I have not expanded myself to include all Life As Me - and I have thus made 'life' into the search for others who share my limited self definitions so I can feel like I have 'companionship' in existence - not realizing that this companionship is not real because when I lose a friend, then I feel alone again which shows that at my core, I have not yet decided that I am even alive - because if I was alive - I would be Life - and as Life I cannot feel lonely because I include All as Myself and I am Here with All Life - how can I be lonely when I am Here in existence with billions of beings? How can I be lonely if I am All Life?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself and everyone else to exist within a limited definition of self that does not include all Life, manifesting a world of lonely people looking for friends / companions, which occupies the majority of their time and makes it difficult to actually care about stopping all the abuse that exists in the world
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be self honest with myself that I was never a real friend to anyone when my friends change and I become nasty towards them
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I feel my friendship is threatened, manipulate others by saying things like 'but I really care about you', and 'but you're so special to me', and 'but we have such a connection', or to use compliments to try and make them feel special so they'll want to keep being my friend - within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support EGO to exist in the world, by requiring my 'friends' to have an ego which I can manipulate so they'll stay friends with me - so that I don't have to face my inner loneliness and take responsibility for my inner experience that I am creating
I commit myself to stop defining myself in a limited way based on interests, preferences, lifestyle, fashions, tastes, beliefs, opinions, so that I can stop existing as a personality that must seek validation and companionship through finding similar personalities to be in relationship with where we agree with each other and fuel our self definitions by only talking about / participating in things that support our self definitions - therein excluding ourselves from all there is to consider / be aware of / participate with as LIFE
I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to hide from my inner experience of myself through allowing myself to manipulate others egos so that they'll say things that stroke my own ego so I can feel better about myself
I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing abuse / bullying / judgment / nastiness as behavior that people allow themselves to participate in because they fear to lose the acceptance of their group of friends
When and as I find myself going into fear of losing my friends, and start thinking about what I can do to win back their acceptance of me - I stop myself - I breathe - I write out what it is that I fear to lose, and what it is that I desire from the friendship that I feel I cannot give to myself - and I stop accepting and allowing myself to seek out friendships instead of being my own friend first and giving to myself that which I see I have separated myself from - such as love, acceptance, worth, value, companionship, support - and within this I realize that to give Life to myself, I must decide I am Life, and remove all self definitions based in the acceptance of self as being less than All Life -- but within this I realize I will have to walk a process of standing one and equal with all Life, in realizing I have separated myself from Life through and as a system of energy called the mind as thoughts, feelings, and emotions that I have allowed to exist as a representation of Life based on my own accepted self belief that I as a human am less than Life - and so I will have to dismantle my entire mind as all the patterns of my conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind that I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as me in place of Life -- wherein, I must replace 'me as the mind', with 'me Here as Life' - which will be a process of Self Creation -- as Me as Life has never existed before and so I must create Me as Life through a process of stopping myself existing as the mind / energy / limited self definitions, so that I can rebirth myself anew in my physical body -- and wherein I realize that what is Here as this reality is mostly stuff that I do not yet understand and thus am not Equal to it in fact -- and so I will have to learn what exists here as this reality, how it works, how it is being created, so I can stand one and equal to it and integrate it as myself Here
I commit myself to, through a process of deciding that I am Life, stopping my mind as limited self definitions and relationships and standing one and equal with all that is here through becoming aware of / integrating what is Here as Myself, becoming a friend to myself as Life in learning how to take action to create a world that is best for all Life as Myself - within this realizing that I will no longer require 'friends' - but will rather focus on establishing supportive relationships based on assisting myself and my relationship partners to be self honest and not allow limited self definitions / personalities, and to establish ourselves Here as Life
I commit myself to standing and walking with the group of people already transforming themselves from limited robots of energetic neediness and manipulation, to principled beings that stand as Life Together and do what is required to be done to create a new world system that supports ourselves as All Life
When and as I find myself not wanting to give up 'my life' of limited friendships based on relationships between limited self definitions, I stop myself and realize that I am part of the problem in this world when I am accepting and allowing friendships to exist, as I am saying it is okay and acceptable for human beings to accept themselves to be less than Life, which is then used as a justification to 'just care about my own experience' as self interest and not take responsibility for this world
When and as I find myself wishing my friends would come back to me instead of doing that 'weird desteni thing', I ask myself why it is that I believe I should not stand together with a group that is working toward a world that is best for all - and identify all the justifications I have allowed as to why I should apparently remain limited instead of living as All Life and doing what is best for All Life as Myself - and I remove these justifications with Self Forgiveness so I can be free to start creating myself as Life so I can make the best possible use of my time here on Earth instead of wasting my time
When and as find myself blaming my friends / ex-friends for not 'supporting me' - I realize I am the one to blame for not supporting myself, because I am the one that accepts and allows myself to define myself in limited ways and to require others to validate me and accept me and support my personality -- therefore I stop blame and I delete my limited personality / self definitions with self forgiveness so I can be free to expand my definition of Self to include all Life so I can stop requiring 'friends' to apparently 'give me life'