Day 13: Becoming Life In A World of Clones
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define living as the activity of looking at what other people have done and the lifestyle they had, and the kind of attention they got from others, and how much money they made, and the kind of relationships and sex they had, and the kind of legacy they left, what pictures exist of them, and how people remember them, and then trying to emulate and copy and reproduce what they did because I want to feel like I 'am somebody'
Within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the reason I get frustrated and angry and depressed and experience a great longing to live within me, when I find that I cannot live / reproduce the stories and pictures of what other people did, and when I don't get the attention and feedback from my world / others that confirms that I have successfully copied the great life of someone from the past, is because I have defined myself through doing - defined who I am as something that only can exist if I receive confirmation from my world / others that what I am doing is of worth, and in this I have separated myself from living, separated myself from life
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that by defining living and life as copying what others have done to try and get the same attention and feedback from my world that the other got in their life, I am removing myself from life and turning myself into a program that must be given life through the attention of others - which is why, when I don't receive the attention I want, I feel lifeless
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define self expression as doing what others have done, instead of realizing that self expression is me expressing me, and that obviously to Express Me, I have to know Who I Am -- within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Self as something that can only be given life if I can get others to remember me and think about me, where I believe if I can prove to others through what I do, that 'I am somebody', THEN I will know Who I Am - instead of realizing that Who I Am is always already Here in every moment, but that I have never investigated who I have decided I am, never investigated what is the best principle to live by, what I will accept and allow in myself, what I stand as
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize and see that no one has lived a life of real worth because no matter what others have done, none have come up with a way to live that would bring about a world that is best for all and have only focused on their own doings as entertainment and the search for feeling good - and thus no one has considered LIFE within who they decide they are - they've only considered 'how can I pass my time while I am here before I die' - within accepting a world system that allows war, starvation, poverty, famine, abuse, neglect, enslavement, exploitation, greed - therefore, why would I want to copy the lives of those who have gone before me?
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the reason I feel like no matter what I do I am not really living to my fullest, is because I have never considered deciding that who I am is Life, and then investigating what it would be to live as Life and express myself as Life, but have only been in my mind in thoughts and comparison and self judgment and desires and hopes and dreams based on what I've seen others do, because I believed that who I am is what I do, instead of realizing that what I do will be equal to Who I Am - and Who I Am is up to me
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that a life of worth would be to Live as Life itself and in this align my self expression with the decision to live a world that is best for all life into actual manifestation - because then Who I AM will be relevant to Life, Who I Am will place an Expression of Value and Substance in this world
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my human body with stress, illness, substance abuse, because I as my mind is not satisfied with the attention I get from others and so feel like I am worthless - wherein I then allow my own accepted and allowed feeling of worthlessness to influence my relationship with my body
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the reason that sometimes I look at what I'm doing and feel like what I'm doing is just useless and fake and pointless, is because IT IS useless and fake and pointless to copy what others are doing and try and find life within copying the lives of others who themselves accepted a pointless existence of being a slave to an abusive world system that limits choice to that which you can buy with money
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that to give myself a point to exist, I must Give myself Life - I must decide I Am Life, because the point of Life is to Live - and if I am not Life, then what is the point of Me? I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am the only one who can take responsibility to decide who I am in every moment - decide what is the point of ME in every moment -- because, if I allow the point of ME to be defined by the attention and feedback from others, then when I am not able to manipulate my world to give me the feedback and attention I want, I will feel pointless
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize the simple point that the point of existing is to Live in ways that Support Life in its expansion, fulfillment, passion, growth, development, self discovery, self expression - and that if I am not living in support of Life, then I am abusing Life to try and fulfill a point of my own self interest
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that true satisfaction comes from living in every way in support of all Life to be able to Live in dignity, without harm, able to reach their full potential in self expression and self discovery as Life -- and that to do this I must Expand Me to Include all Life and stand as All of what is Here, as All Life, and Express as the voice of All Life - instead of a limited entity called a personality existing as feelings and emotions and thoughts whose Soul Goal is to get attention from others to validate its self definitions
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the opportunity to decide I am Life is always Here in every moment of Breath - in every moment of breath I can decide to either be a mind that must validate its existence through getting attention from others to generate feelings in a constant struggle of ups and downs, or I can decide to be Life and make each moment a Self Expression in the journey to a world that is best for all
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize and see that I never considered what my natural self expression / passion is, because when I got to a certain age, I started participating in my mind within constant comparison, self judgment, self definition, and started trying to copy what others are doing, instead of developing my natural self expression
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can find my passion by copying / becoming what others have done, instead realizing that passion is what flows as ME when I know Who I Am
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where people try and copy / emulate / duplicate what others have done, so that in getting the same / similar / proven feedback, they can feel like they have 'become something' - instead of realizing that in this I am accepting and allowing a world of clones - not living beings
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world in which people ignore / neglect / abuse the earth and each other in the quest to become what someone else has already become, so that 'I can leave behind a legacy like they did, and people will remember be for what I did' - all because no one is actually here living as Life, wherein, when all are living as Life then all will support each other by giving each other a world in which they as Life can be supported to live to their fullest expression and expansion as an expression of Life - and instead we have a world of clones trying to find meaning and make themselves feel like they are alive by doing things others have done - in the process ignoring the abusive world system in which poverty, starvation, war, greed, abuse is allowed in the name of capitalism
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit self expression to activities I do to make myself feel like I am someone by emulating someone who I judged to have lived a great life
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that a great life is to live as Life in working toward a world that supports life and ends abuse
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value in the lives of people who never once considered Life but only how to find a way to have a comfortable lifestyle in an abusive money system
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value in what others have done and are doing, instead of realizing that value is Life - and, that instead of placing value in what others are doing, I should value myself as Life so that I can stand up and live as Life and assist and support everyone through my self expression to realize that they don't have to live as a clone trying to find themselves in copying what others have done, but can live as Life in every moment -- but first I must stop all points where I have defined myself through 'doing' and comparison between what I am doing with what others are doing / have done, so I can be free to consider how I as Life would actually live -- wherein, I would first realize that as Life I would align my expression with a message of what is best for all Life and support myself in learning how we must re-establish ourselves in our relationships with each other, from a starting point of oneness and equality as Life so that our relationships are that which support Life to Live effectively and fully in all ways
I commit myself to stop trying to copy what others have done, and investigate what it would be to live as Life in the context of this world as it exists
I commit myself to stop trying to do things to get people to think about me and remember me by associating me with other people who lived 'great lives', and investigate what my natural self expression actually is, that which I was drawn to, came easily to me when I was very young - before I had started comparing myself to others and trying to copy the lives of others
I dedicate myself to stopping my mind of comparison, self judgment, hopes, dreams, desires for fame and attention, jealousy, envy, and in this stopping the patterns I participate in daily based on the quest to copy the lives of others, so that I can be free to be Here and explore myself as Life -- wherein, to do this I firstly commit myself to deciding in every moment that I am Life and will Live as Life - not as a clone
I commit myself to establishing daily writing where I take apart my constructs of comparison and desire around what I've seen others do in their lives, and with self forgiveness release myself from the desire to copy and emulate others, and I commit myself to stop defining living as 'successfully doing what others have done', and instead investigate what it is to live as Life in every moment
I commit myself to realizing in every moment that when I get depressed because I'm not getting the attention I want from others for what I'm doing, that I am not living - but that I am moping / feeling sorry for myself because I am unsuccessfully trying to copy others and feel like I am someone through getting people to give me attention and tell me I'm living a great life - and so I commit myself to stop trying to get attention and experience a feeling, and instead dedicate every moment to deciding to express myself as Life, and aligning myself as Life with that which is of value to all life - which is to create a world that is best for all Life.
I commit myself to stop limiting myself by defining who I am by what I do, so I can stop comparing myself to what others do, and dedicate myself to establishing myself as Life in this world, as a real Expression of Life, and within this commit myself to bringing about a world where All are able to establish themselves as Life - so we can have a world where we All Live as Life.
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