Day 12: Spiritual Failures: Trying to change the world without understanding


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the spiritual personality design of hope and imagination that believes by imagining a picture of a world without suffering, and focusing on it and placing hope that it will manifest, that the world will actually transform into the picture I see in my mind -- within this not wanting to see that the context humanity exists within at the moment is a world system, and that we require a world system to be able to support life effectively on earth, and that in not taking responsibility to understand how the system works, how we have created it, and coming to an understanding of how the world system must change to support life, that I cannot possibly make any real difference in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the picture in my mind is based on what I would like to experience, and not on the practical considerations of how to support all life on earth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that since the experience of hope feels good, that it indicates that whatever I'm hoping for, will become real - instead of realizing the simple point that I am able to make myself feel good quite easily simply by thinking about something I'd like to experience, but that my feeling does not actually equate to physical action taken to change the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by spreading a message of hope and imagination, that I am assisting those in power who abuse the less fortunate to stop abusing, instead of realizing and seeing that those in power have power because they understand how the system works and have the ability to direct the system -- whereas I do not have such power because I do not have the understanding - and thus my message of hope and imagination actually supports those in power to continue abusing because I am in fact spreading a message of ignorance that supports people to remain less than the system through focusing on their own mind experience instead of understanding how the system works and working together to design a solution that can be implemented through the current system

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that in the practical daily aspects of my life such as buying food, buying gas, paying bills, taking precautions against theft -- my hope placed in an imagined picture of a world without suffering is having no effect on my physical actions as a consumer = The only difference between me and a non spiritual consumer is that I have different pictures in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that spirituality is a problem for those in power who abuse, because it presents a solution for this world, instead of realizing that spirituality is a mainstream lifestyle that is supported widely within consumerism by mainstream media, movies, magazines, tv shows, talk shows, radio shows, and that it makes a profit just as any other lifestyle

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a bubble within my own mind in which the principle I stand by is to make myself feel good - instead of realizing that in this I am not supporting the creation of a world that supports life, because I am not including life within the principle I live by - I am only including my experience of feeling good, with life as an idea that I have designed in a way that supports my hopes and desirers

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an idea about life based on pictures and feelings of things I would like to experience, instead of considering life itself that is equal within all, and within this consideration, investigating how we can live in the physical in ways where we are supporting all life as ourselves

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I was Life, I would not have hope - I would LIVE in a way that is best for Life as myself, which, in the context of the current world system, would be to come to a practical solution as a new world system that can be implemented using what is here

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I was Life, I would not need to have a little bubble in my head filled with pictures I use to make myself feel good, because I would be Living and Expressing in support of what is Best for All Life as Myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize and see that spirituality is appealing because it says my only responsibility is to do what feels good, which makes it easy to abdicate responsibility for this world and focus only on my own experience - which is obviously separation, not oneness

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I cannot be trusted to do what is best for all life, if I am always in my mind allowing my participation to be directed by my desire to feel good

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that to support life, to work towards a real change in this world, I must live by principle - not live by experience, because if I live by experience, I will be subject to the ups and downs of feelings and emotions, of energy - and will not be able to stand in every moment and take action that is based on the consideration of what is best for all

I commit myself to stopping my mind bubble of spirituality as hope and imagination and feeling good, and bringing myself back Here to the physical always - wherein, when and as I see I am going into my mind and participating in an alternate reality to make myself feel something, I stop, and return to my breath - I stand here as breath, in the physical, and get out of the picture reality in my mind

I commit myself to stopping myself existing as an addict of energy as feelings and emotions, and investigating practical principles that can be lived in every moment in support of Life

I commit myself to stop using my time and breath to support my own spiritual lifestyle, and dedicate myself to using my time and breath to support a new world system that gives everyone a lifestyle of quality and dignity and support

I commit myself to stop my addiction to hope, realizing that my hope is just based on the fear of standing and facing what is here now -- and thus if I am in hope, I cannot say I am here, I cannot say I am present -- because I am in my mind hoping for some future imagined outcome

I commit myself to learning about the current world system, so that I can understand how it works, understand how we fucked up, so that I am no longer less than the system, and can actually start to look at what must be changed at a practical level

I commit myself to no longer support people to remain in their minds in hope and imagination, realizing that this is supporting people to consider their self interest, and I dedicate myself to stand as Life as all as one as equal and consider always in all contexts, situations, realities, what is best for all as Life and to align my definitions of the words I live, with that which can be practically lived as what is best for all, so that when I speak, I speak as the understanding of what is best for all

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