Day 6: Relationship with Change
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that, I cannot expect humanity to just 'evolve' and 'eventually change' - because within this I am accepting humanity as it is right now, and not taking responsibility to change myself - the example I will leave for this world is that of accepting humanity as it is, and just 'waiting' for some 'evolution' to take place.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize and see that the way humanity exists as a whole, consists of the way we each participate with each other through and within the relationships we have established with ourselves and each other, and the earth. And thus I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that, we cannot change through some 'future point of evolution', because we must actually direct our change, move ourselves in changing the nature of the relationships we create.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that, who I am now - the way I have learned to think, learned to make considerations, learned to participate, is the product of the way those who came before me learned to think, consider, and participate -- I am the product of the accepted relationships that constitute the way humanity currently exists - and thus, if I remain a product of the relationships that shaped who I am now - family, teachers, friends - I will pass on the same accepted relationships through my example, through the way I teach my children.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it is enough to say 'we need to change', and to just 'have faith' that we will change 'eventually', instead of realizing that, in this I am not taking any action to change -- I am just deluding myself with hope and faith to make myself feel good.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that people are 'changing', when the example shown in the daily events of the world shows that we are not changing at all. Thus I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be self honest about what I see going on in the world every day, in realizing that all the ways we think we are changing or have changed - have not brought us any closer to a world that is supportive for everyone, and that therefore our definition of change must be reconsidered.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that changing my lifestyle means I've changed, instead of realizing that, millions of people have changed their lifestyle, yet the world has not changed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself and everyone else to continue accepting relationships in which we use hope and faith to make ourselves feel better about the world, wherein we continue to accept and allow poverty, war, starvation, abuse to continue because we have managed to occupy ourselves in our minds with feelings, shutting out the reality of those who were born into a circumstance of suffering.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself and humanity to allow ourselves to focus only on how we can better our own lives and make ourselves feel happy and safe while ignoring those who have no chance in this world.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that my life is only possible if I have money, and the only reason I focus only on my own life and my own experience is because I believe that the money system is too big, too hard to change, that this is the only way things can be, and that if things are going to change, it will be 'in the future', and because I am apparently 'too busy' with my own survival and my own life, to dedicate myself to investigating how we could have a different system that is best for everyone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself ' I am too busy with my own life' to take the lead in investigating how we could have a new system that is best for everyone, instead of realizing that when I am not at work earning money, I actually just use my time to entertain myself and socialize and have hobbies -- time in which I could be using to investigate how we as humanity need to change, and what kind of system we could have that would be best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it is someone else's responsibility to come up with a solution for this world, instead of realizing that - since I see there is a problem, I am responsible to do whatever I can to work towards a solution.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to place myself in the shoes of those who suffer and endure a circumstance of constant struggle and pain, and ask myself if I am doing all that I can to work towards a world in which life is supported.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Change only as that which will benefit Me - instead of realizing that in this, my relationship with Change is that of self interest, is that of looking for ways for people to do things differently with the outcome of making me happier, more successful, more entertained, more comfortable - and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a dysfunctional definition of Change, wherein, if everyone is only looking for ways to change their lives, and ways to change the government / system so that 'I can be happier and more comfortable', Change will be defined in this world within the context of billions of people's self interest -- and thus I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that Change must be defined within the consideration of what is Best for All, and actually lived within changing ourselves so that nothing of ourselves supports relationships with a starting point of self interest / neglect / ignorance - and therefore I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that change starts with me - starts with me investigating the nature of my relationships with myself, others, and the world, and making sure that I am learning how to establish relationships that work toward what is best for all - instead of supporting the continuation of the relationships of self interest that have shaped this word into what it is.
Therefore I commit myself to taking responsibility for my relationships, to no longer just 'go with the flow' within acceptance of myself as a product of the relationships of those who came before me, but to investigate how to create new relationships that work toward what is best for all.
I commit myself to investigating what kinds of relationships are required to be established that will enable us as humanity to sort out this world and stop poverty, starvation, war, abuse.
I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself to change, to re-create myself as a new being that stands here as life, and directs myself as life to create a world that is best for all life. Thus within this I commit myself to no longer accepting or allowing myself to exist as a copy of the past.
I commit myself to applying self forgiveness when and as the fear of losing my relationships and the fear of losing 'my life' comes up, so that I can be free to change myself.
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