Day 5: Prioritization and Discipline in Walking my Day
blame when someone else does not give direction to something that must be done, wherein, when I see something that needed to get done that day, did not get done, I, within myself feel annoyed and immediately go to a point of blame as 'why didn't that person give direction to that thing that needed to get done?' when in actuality my annoyance has nothing to do with anyone else, but I was actually annoyed with myself because I did not give direction to every point in my day, in the specificity that I would like, and was left wanting such specificity of direction to be taken by someone else
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into annoyance and immediately look for someone to blame when something that I could have gotten done or made sure someone else got done, did not get done due to my own neglect
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within accepting and allowing myself to neglect prioritizing and walking my day in the specificity I'd like, sabotage my daily opportunity of expansion of participation in being able to take on more responsibilities, by continually placing myself in a position where, because I am not giving effective direction to all the pertinent points within my day, I cannot take on more points because I have not established consistency and constancy as the directive principle within the pertinent points of my immediate world
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to, when I wake up in the morning, to just 'go with the flow' and do a little of this and a little of that, depending on what I 'want' to do in that moment, instead of establishing for myself at the beginning, what are my responsibilities and what has priority, and walking each priority point of responsibility through to completion before moving on to the next point
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought of 'I wish I had more time' to exist within me and to come up when and as I have allowed my responsibilities to accumulate and compound when I could have used my time more effectively in consistently walking each point through to completion so that I am not left with an unnecessarily large 'load of work' to do, instead of in such moments, writing out a time schedule of what I see is possible for me to complete in the time I have each day, and then disciplining myself to walking each point to completion so that I live a full day, realizing I can only do so much in the context of my day but if I am living each day fully, completely - then there is no reason to backchat and complain that there is 'not enough time'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself in accepting and allowing responsibilities to compound because I procrastinated or did not complete something because I allowed myself to be directed by 'what would be easier to do right now'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse of 'there's not enough time, and there's too much responsibility' to justify remaining within my pattern of 'doing what I feel like' - instead of realizing that I have not actually proven to myself what I am able to accomplish each day because I have not disciplined myself to walk with constancy and consistency in making effective use of my time and walking each point through to completion
Thus I commit myself to disciplining myself to daily establish my priority responsibilities and to use all the time I have to walk as many points as possible through to completion as possible, and when and as any reaction as feeling comes up in relation to a task that is required to be completed, I bring myself back to the schedule / plan I have established for the day and do not allow the reaction / feeling to influence me in how I walk my day
I commit myself to, when and as I see it is time to start work on a specific point within my day, breathe and push myself to move the point through to completion - through moving myself as the point - living the point - where, I am not just 'doing it', I am making it me, making it part of how I live - expanding my self expression to include all that is relevant within my day, instead of limiting my self expression to certain things only, wherein I am just then setting myself up to create friction between me and the point that is 'not my self expression'.
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