2012: Self Forgiveness on Spirituality and Responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to be programmed by the stories, pictures, and messages of spirituality that that described oneness as an 'experience', and as a 'feeling', and as the idea of 'existence giving me what I want', and 'me being able to control and shape existence according to my desires and excitement and fantasies'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the pretty words that say 'all you have to do is follow your excitement', and 'you are here to experience bliss and need not worry about anything', and 'your desires and feelings are your higher guidance and if you follow your feelings and desires then you are aligned with the divine plan'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the idea and story that 'in each following their excitement, desires, fantasies, imagination, and aligning themselves with that which feels good', then we will 'change the world into a golden age of peace and love and light', instead of seeing and realizing that within such a starting point of following 'my desires, my feelings, my excitement', and 'not considering anything else', I am making 'my experience god', and if everyone is doing this, then everyone is making 'my experience god', and everyone will be trying to and attempting to have reality / existence only support 'my experience' -- no one will actually be considering what is the best way to live with each other in existence as equals, as one -- because everyone is allowing themselves to be directed by their own desires, interests, fantasies, imagination -- no one is taking responsibility because everyone is existing within the starting point idea that 'there is a divine, higher plan at work, and my only responsibility is to follow my own experience and fulfill my own experience' -- which is obviously complete separation into individualized bubbles within which each experience themselves as 'one' -- wherein each actually have their 'own oneness', their own experience of oneness based on whatever makes them feel good

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see and realize that in believing that 'my only responsibility is to follow my excitement, desires, happiness', and accepting the story that 'everything is part of the higher divine plan which I do not need to understand here while I am living my life on earth', I am giving the responsibility for how the earth is governed, to whoever happens to already be in a position of power and control -- which currently is those in office and in positions of power within the money system of capitalism / consumerism

within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see and realize that within my acceptance of my starting point of believing that 'my only responsibility is to follow my excitement, desires, imagination, feelings', I am allowing myself to become the perfect slave to those already in power, because all they have to do is make sure I have access to messages, stories, movies, shows, books, religions that support me to remain within my desires, excitement, fantasies, imagination', because as long as I do, I will perceive that 'I am changing my reality', and 'I have power' - and all the corporations must do is change the products, vocabulary, pictures, messages within consumerism to align with my individual desired experience

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize and see that when I react and experience something as 'negative', that simply indicates that I am currently mind controlled through my own judgments of positive / negative -- wherein I judge words, pictures, messages that make me feel good and tell me everything is fine, as 'positive', and judge words, pictures, messages that do not make me feel good as 'negative'

within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that when I experience something as 'positive', or 'negative' -- I am actually only experiencing myself -- because the positive / negative energetic polarity exists within me -- not within the words, the pictures, the messages I hear

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize and see that the reason I experience the point of 'facing the problems of this world', and 'facing the suffering of others', and 'seeing pictures of suffering, starvation, poverty, war, money', as 'negative', and the reason it 'makes me feel bad', is because I've accepted and allowed as my starting point the experience and idea that 'I cannot change that' -- I have actually made these problems 'more than me'-- and why? Because when I saw them I did not understand how to change them - and rather than face this point of seeing that I don't understand how the problem was created and how to change it, I looked for a way to feel good - I looked for an experience to busy myself with so I don't have to see the problem, and within this, the reason why spirituality appealed to me and made me feel so good was because it gave me a story that 'explained' the problems I saw -- with the 'explanation' being that 'it is their karma', and 'it is part of the divine plan', and 'their suffering was a choice they made before they came here', and 'everything happens for a reason'

within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to, and get lost within the stories and explanations of 'why the world's problems exist', because it was simply easier than facing the problems, because then I would have to face my experience of uselessness - my experience of feeling that 'this is too big for me'

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to messages and stories within spirituality that tell me 'all is well, all you have to do is follow that which makes you feel good', and to not see and realize that within 'looking for ways to make myself feel good and following that which makes me feel good', I am separating myself from the problems of this world, into a bubble of 'feeling good' -- while still existing within the underlying starting point experience of 'feeling bad' about the problems of this world, because I never actually faced and dealt with my experience of uselessness within the belief that 'the problems are too big for me to change' -- and the reason I don't experience this anymore, is because I have merely built layer upon layer of ideas and pictures and feelings and beliefs and stories within my mind to occupy myself with, actually suppressing my experience of uselessness -- because if I have to stand and face the problems of this world again, I still don't have a solution, I still don't understand how to change it in fact -- I've merely convinced myself that by 'feeling good', 'the world will change', because that did not require me to actually take any practical responsibility in this world in facing the problems that exist -- I accepted 'feeling good' as the 'solution to all problems', because it was something I could easily do within my own mind -- I didn't have to face the actual physical problems that exist, and didn't have to consider them anymore

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see and realize that I have separated myself from this world into and as a bubble of feelings generated within my own mind through the ideas, stories, and explanations of spirituality that I accepted, and defined myself and my world according to

Through self forgiveness and self honesty I've stopped my delusions, stopped myself looking for a way out of the problems we are faced with in this world through feelings and pictures in my mind -- because I saw the common sense that, I am not actually doing anything to take responsibility for what exists in this world - I am accepting and allowing the problems to continue within the belief that my only responsibility is to follow that which makes me 'feel good'. I mean, why would we 'choose' to all come here to Earth, to this one physical dimension, to experience the physical, to experience being together, only to look for a way out through energetic alternate realities in our own minds? What is that showing us? Such a desire to escape Earth and ascend out of here into a 'higher realm' is showing us that we have not yet learned to live together as one, as equals, in a way that is best for all - we have not learned how to establish heaven for all in one dimension -- so how can we possibly say the reason we are here is to go to heaven after we die, or to ascend into some heavenly realm? How can we claim to know anything of heaven, anything of oneness, anything of care, compassion, love -- when we have not learned to exist with each other on Earth together, working together, supporting each other?

How can we claim that our feelings of oneness have the power to change the world into a great place for everyone, when within our very acceptance of ourselves following our feelings and emotions and imagination, we are giving our power away to the corporations, to be controlled through our self interest, where we will do anything that makes us feel good, believe any story that makes us feel good without considering how the system actually works?

Join us at Desteni, as we are facing reality, facing what is here on Earth, and working together to establish a new world for all through taking the actual steps required to be taken of working out how to support everyone on earth, and designing a new system that can actually be implemented. We are not going to 'get out of this mess' through fantasies and feelings -- we have to learn to work with the physical dimension we are in.

So, it's 2012 - time to get out of the mind with self honesty and self forgiveness, and come Home to Earth, come Home to the Physical. It's time we learned the actual lesson we came here to learn - the lesson of how to work together as one, as equals, to create a world that supports all life. Once we have heaven on Earth for all - then who knows what we will choose to do. But to live as gods - we must take the responsibility of gods. And what god will you choose to be? A god that ignores the rest, only valuing your own experience? Or a god that makes sure that ALL in existence are Equal in support to live, express, and experience this world in the best possible way.

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