Self Forgiveness on my past with education. Perspective on creating a New Humanity with Desteni I Process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a failure, instead of realizing that it was not that I was ‘a failure’, or that I as who I am was ‘inferior’ – it was that I did not have the tools to assist and support myself to not react and create ideas and beliefs about myself, when I encountered difficulty in school, and I did not have the understanding of how the human being works, to see and realize how to assist and support myself to walk the practical steps of becoming effective in information processing and the application of that information within writing and other assignments.
Thus I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see that this whole time, it is never been that ‘school was difficult’ or ‘I was not good at school’, it was that I was not effective enough in the practical skills required to handle the school work.
Thus, I forgive myself that I did not understand why I experienced school to be difficult, and I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to automatically create ideas and beliefs about myself, within having accepted what I was taught, that some people are ‘just good at it’, and some people are ‘just not good at it’ – within this I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that this was in fact ‘the reason’ why I experienced school to be difficult, the reason being that ‘I was just not good at it’ – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, from the starting point of defining myself as ‘just not good at it’, immediately create more ideas and more beliefs about myself whenever I would encounter something that I experienced to be difficult, instead of realizing and seeing that this was not a practical way to handle my experience – as I was creating unnecessary self definitions and ideas instead of actually practically assisting and supporting myself to become more effective in the practical skills required to handle the school work with ease.
Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resent that I did not receive effective support to develop my information processing and application abilities while I was in school.
And the other aspect, was that I had an idea and belief that what was being presented in school was something that I ‘would never need’ and thus I had ‘made up my mind’ / decided already that I was not going to complete school, already even before I dropped out. Within this I forgive myself that I did not understand and see the practical facts that I was in a system, and that in order to support myself to live in the system, it is practical to complete school and walk the steps required by the system in order to get to a point of sufficient skill to be able to take a placement within the system within which I could perform a function that would enable me to generate an income for myself, to make money to support myself to live.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define school as useless
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define school as pointless
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resent school
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate school
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘I just don’t like school’, instead of seeing and realizing that I didn’t like school because I did not understand how it would support me, and I did not have sufficient information processing skills to effectively handle all the material.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define school as boring
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define reading as boring
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define school as bullshit
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people who went on to get degrees, as being ‘ignorant’ based on my idea that school is ‘useless and pointless and bullshit’
I forgive myself that I did not understand and realize the full context of myself within the system, wherein I would have seen that it was in fact practical to earn a degree to be able to support myself with money
therefore I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge the system, and to within this stand in separation / rebellion of the system, because I did not want to be a ‘victim of its bullshit’
Within this I forgive myself that I did not see and understand that rebelling and not participating in the system, was not the ‘solution’ to the bullshit, and was not the solution to my experience of difficulty within school – it was me attempting to ‘get my power back’ by ‘doing it my way’ and ‘not playing by the rules’ to spite the system and those participating in it by saying, ‘fuck you, I don’t need you, I will do it my own way’
I forgive myself that I did not see and realize that I was merely being spiteful because I had defined myself to actually be inferior to the system, and inferior to those participating in it, because I had experienced it to be difficult and had given up on myself within it, and I was then spiteful towards those participating in the system because I saw that they had more practical skills than me in the system, and I saw that I was limited in what I could do because I lacked the practical skills, and instead of seeing and realizing the practical facts of the situation – I instead made it into an emotional experience as victimization, judging the system to have ‘taken my power away’ and be ‘constricting and beating me down’ and because I did not have the tools to support and assist myself with self honesty and self forgiveness and standing up and living in a way that practically supports me, I instead defined myself as a victim and judged the system to be the enemy, and defined anyone participating in the system to be ignorant and stupid because ‘don’t they see the bullshit they are participating in’ – when in fact I was myself participating in bullshit as the mind, as creating all kinds of unnecessary judgments, self ideas, self definitions, beliefs within myself, creating unnecessary emotional experiences, when I could have been establishing an effective foundation of support for myself in the system as money through developing the necessary practical skills.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a victim of the system
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define people participating in the system to be ‘stupid and ignorant’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as inferior to the system
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the system as superior to me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that rebelling was the solution to my experience of difficulty in school, instead of seeing and realizing that the solution was to assist and support myself with self honesty and self forgiveness to not create shit in my mind, and to take the necessary practical steps of improving my ability to process and apply information.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe ‘the system took my power away’, instead of realizing and seeing that I gave my power away through abdicating myself to my mind through which I accepted myself to be powerless to support myself, and powerless to become effective in school, because I had accepted that ‘what I feel as emotions and reactions is indicating who I really am and that that is who I must accept myself to be, and that I should ‘o what feels best and easy’, and ‘not do what feels bad or difficult’.
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to accept the definition of ‘freedom’ as ‘following my feelings’ within believing that ‘my feelings are telling me what is real, and that when I am following my feelings I am honoring who I truly am’ – instead of realizing and understanding and seeing that my feelings were just a system of energy created through specific programming as information I had accepted as myself and had begun living as myself.
Thus, practical freedom in this world as it exist, would imply establishing first a foundation of effective support in the system within seeing and realizing that in the system as it exists, money is required to get anything done.
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe it was possible to change the system, change the world, without participating in the system – instead of realizing and seeing that I only had this idea because I did not have an effective understanding of how the system works, and what it consists of at a physical practical level, I rather had only ideas and beliefs and imagination based on my desire to experience a world in which I would not experience difficulty and struggle, as I did within school, which then resulted in me experiencing more difficulty and struggle when I left school and found it difficult to earn money.
I forgive myself that I did not see that the reason I found it difficult to earn money was because I was allowing and accepting myself to be directed by my feelings and emotions and reactions and thoughts which I had developed over time through creating ideas and beliefs of myself as ‘not fitting in to the system’ through reacting to my experience of difficulty in the past in school, where I then began living the idea of myself as ‘I do not fit into the system’, where I then ‘stayed away from’ anything that I did not already know how to do or could learn with ease, because I believed I simply ‘was not able to’ because I had accepted myself to ‘not fit in’ with what everyone else is doing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as ‘not fitting in’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I just ‘will not be able to participate in the system beyond what I already know how to do within things that I do not experience a reaction or resistance towards’
I forgive myself that I did not act sooner and do self forgiveness sooner on these points, and rather allowed myself to move more slowly with working on getting effective in the system, through accepting and allowing myself to give into my resistances, within still accepting and allowing myself to give power to my resistances within believing that they are indicating something that I am ‘not able to do’, instead of realizing that whenever I have overcome a resistance or difficulty, I have seen that the resistance was merely in essence the ‘growing pains’ that came with automating myself with a new skill – because I was physically pushing myself to learn the skill, physically integrating the information of how to do the skill.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up when I experience resistance as I am pushing to become effective in a new skill, instead of just breathing, and realizing that I will get through it if I just keep breathing and walking the practical steps of learning, integrating and automating the new skill.
It is in essence just like learning to walk or ride a bike.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make learning new skills into a ‘big deal’ by judging it to be ‘difficult’, going into my mind and backchatting about it, instead of focusing on the simplicity of what I am actually doing – what I am doing has nothing to do with emotions, thoughts or feelings – I am merely integrating the information of how to effectively do something, then walking the physical steps / acts of practicing that skill until it becomes automatic – where the resistance I experience is just the ‘growing pains’ of physically automating the new skill.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘learning is an emotional thing’ – instead of realizing that, if emotions, feelings, reactions, thoughts, come up within the process of learning, that is actually a gift, indicating where I have created an alternate mental reality around the point I am learning, and thus I can now take action to dismantle and delete that alternate reality and get back to the basics of the physical steps required to be walked.
Learning is about the practical 1+1+1+1, walking all the steps to get to the eventual end result sum of those steps which is a new skill that has been learned. Within this, the mind as emotions, thoughts, feelings, reactions, memories, fears, anxiety – is irrelevant and the best support I can give myself within the learning process is to effectively and specifically apply self forgiveness and self corrective statements and action on any and all points of the mind that arise within the learning process, to then purify myself within the learning process where I am no longer in my mind when I am learning, but I am now standing equal with the physical process of learning, able to with clarity support myself in walking the physical steps of learning what I see will support me physically to become more effective in my participation in this physical reality.
Self honesty and self forgiveness is thus the ultimate learning tool, as with these tools one is able to stop any fears, resistances and accepted limitations one may have associated with learning certain skills and abilities, so that one can effectively support oneself to learn what you need to learn in order to place yourself in this world in a position that will be of most practical support for yourself.
Whereas, without these tools, one’s mind will remain as the directive principle and will thus ‘tell you’ what to do according to your accepted limitations, resistances, fears, anxieties, ideas, beliefs about yourself and about the system.
The problem with the system currently is that, instead of being supported from birth to develop practical skills of living and self support at a physical level, within actually understanding the learning process and human skills development process, one ends up developing a multidimensional alternate mind reality consisting of all kinds of ideas, definitions, beliefs, fears, anxieties, judgments, preferences around learning and skills development which is shaped by the particular environmental influences one is exposed to in one’s developmental years – family, teachers, religion, movies, television, cultural customs, etc. All of these things currently teach the child to deal with itself and its world ONLY through the mind – in essence leaving the child on its own to react to and interpret its experiences through the mind, creating ideas, judgments, beliefs about itself, as well as projecting ideas, beliefs, judgments, definitions onto others and the world – where thus the being is separating itself further from the actual practical understanding of how the world works and what is required to practically support oneself as a human being on Earth, and will end up in a position in the system determined by the emotional patterns developed over the years from a young age.
Which is precisely where I found myself when I dropped out of school. My placement as ‘a misfit’ was a result of the emotional patterns of resistance I had developed toward learning and skills development. And it was not because there was something ‘wrong’ with me, or that I was ‘lazy’ – it was that I never had the tools of self support as Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness and effective Common Sense, to see and understand what was going on in the world, see and understand in fact what the process of learning is, how it works and how it would support me, and to see and understand that the Mind as thought, feelings and emotions is not a real reality – but is merely an alternate reality one is conditioned and taught from birth to create, exist within and participate within, and which ends up influencing who one becomes, and where one ends up in the world.
Now that I have the tools to assist and support myself to learn effectively and not be influenced by emotional patterns, I am ‘free’ from the perspective of being able to support myself to develop that which I am naturally good at – which is like, certain ‘strong points’ that I have had from a young age – call it my ‘natural self expression and natural abilities’, which I did not even see when I was primarily occupied within my mind as an alternate reality.
Developing what you ‘feel like’ doing, and developing what you are naturally good at, are two different things.
What you ‘feel like’ doing is something that must be investigated thoroughly with Self Honesty to see if you are in fact utilizing your full potential as a human being, or are merely being directed by emotional and feeling preferences conditioned by ideas, self definitions, fears, anxieties, judgments which you may have spent years developing through reacting and interpreting yourself and your world through the mind.
Desteni I Process assists one to develop the practical skills of self support and self assistance which one can use to investigate and uncover such points, to be able to then release oneself from one’s conditioned, programmed limitations, and begin assisting and supporting self to live effective and develop one’s natural abilities and self expression to your fullest.
And as you are walking and applying this life changing course with specificity and self dedication, you are able to become financially stable, as through sharing your process as I am doing here, you will stand as an example of a human being is able to stand up, actually understand how you are creating yourself and your experience of yourself, and change yourself and transcend your limitations. And the more people who join Desteni I Process, the more effectively the income structure functions, and begins flowing. So, the flow of income is really based on the flow of our self application and dedication as participants in our Process of perfecting ourselves.
Desteni I Process is thus the world’s first really practically structured support system that enables the human being to begin living the change we wish to see in ourselves, and in the world. Because as we are walking our Process, applying the Universal Tools of Self Honesty, Self Forgiveness, Self Correction, we are gradually re-joining together as humanity, to become a New Collective of Self Purifed, Self Perfected Beings who no longer are controlled and influenced by the mind and by the dysfunctional definitions as knowledge that human beings have been living and passing on for generations, but who are standing as the Directive Principle of ourselves, able to support ourselves to live in a way that Best supports us in our natural abilities and Self Expression.
Through our efforts, more and more human beings will discover Desteni I Process, as they will see you and I sharing how we have discovered that we are the solution to ourselves, after having looked for answers in the old ways of the mind, and found only more confusion and difficulty.
Join in the Creation of a New World with a New Humanity. Uncover the Secrets of the Mind and the Secrets of Self.
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