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Thursday, July 14, 2016

Day 323: When you're defined by the outcome you miss out on your self expression

Following up from my previous recording where I spoke about changing myself within the 'This isn't working, I can't do this, I give up' character.

How do you miss out on your Self Expression when you're defined through expectation / want / desire for an outcome / product of your action, based on comparison with others?

Learn the tools of self change:

Every Question Answered For Everyone:
the EQAFE store:

Equality and Oneness Principles:

Monday, July 11, 2016

Day 322: Changing the 'This isn't working, I can't do this, I give up' Character

Here I'm sharing my findings with stopping myself in a moment of being in the 'This isn't working, I can't do this, I give up' character design, and asking myself the following questions in writing:

Who am I, Why am I, and What am I within this experience?

Learn the tools of self change:

Every Question Answered For Everyone:
the EQAFE store:

Equality and Oneness Principles:

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Day 321: When you want to share, but it's just not flowing

When you want to talk about a point, but it's just not flowing and opening up - and then you get frustrated.

Within this scenario, what opportunities can be discovered through asking self - Why am I within this experience? Why am I, Self Honestly, really frustrated?

Practical Self Change tools

Self Support materials available for free and purchase: Every Question Answered For Everyone

Friday, July 1, 2016

Day 320: The Terror of Being Human - what's the solution?

Everyone has experiences, thoughts, frustrations, desires, fears, reactions that are accepted to be 'just part of who I am', and we build entire relationships, friendships, families, societies, laws, rules, governments based on compromise, control, punishment, manipulation, fear - finding a way to get by, to live, to have some measure of stability within the acceptance that 'nobody is perfect', and 'it's all part of being Human'.

We create tv shows, movies, books, magazines, that showcase the way we respond with emotions, feelings, thoughts, desires, fears, judgments, reactions of all kinds - to the behavior of each other, and we relish entertainment that enables us to identify and relate to certain characters and groups and 'live through them':

The 'wronged' character
The 'vengeful' character
The 'beautiful' character
The 'sexy' character
The 'successful' character
The 'leader' character
The 'rich' character
The 'holy' character
The 'righteous' character
The 'hero' character
The 'moral' character
The 'spiritual' character
The 'scientific' character
The 'underdog' character
The 'misunderstood' character
The 'redemptive' character
The 'loved' character
The 'caring' character
The 'brave' character
The 'intelligent' character
The 'logical' character
The 'messed up' character
(insert more characters here)

We judge each other in small ways every single day - whether real people in our lives or characters in our entertainment, we feel judged, we feel offended, we feel wronged, we feel mistreated, we feel entitled, we feel righteous, we feel right, we feel defensive, we feel angry, we feel wrathful, we feel annoyed, we feel frustrated.

We find something to believe in which we then defend, protect, and dedicate our lives to pursuing and fulfilling:


We are billions of people that share the same physical substance, the same life essence, the same physical and educational needs.

Some of us exist within cultures, relationships, education systems, family systems, in which there are those who are willing to die and kill for their beliefs, for their feelings, for their thoughts, for their interests, for their desires, for their idea of what is right and wrong.

We see these people as evil, as terrorists, as the worst people on Earth. We struggle to understand how it will ever stop.

We also see rapists, murderers, thieves, criminals, drug lords, politicians, as bad, dishonest -- the 'problem' with our world.

But, isn't all this evil behavior the product of thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, judgments, opinions?

And, don't we all actually participate in the same things?

When we're watching the movie and we want to get revenge for what has been done to the character we identify with...

When we're reading the magazine and judging the way all the people look as either positive or negative / good / bad

When we're talking about politics or religion, or science, or philosophy, or spirituality, and we get defensive, frustrated, annoyed, irritated, angry, argumentative...

When we think about hurting someone, yelling at someone, how someone else is so wrong, and we are so right...

When we react to someone in blame, annoyance, frustration, judgments -- we we get angry and yell at someone when they do something that was not according to our expectation, preference, upbringing, education...

When we believe in a heaven and want to go there - and would willingly leave the entire world behind, with all the suffering that exists...

When we see and experience and care about only that which makes us happy, or that which we believe in, and are willing to dedicate our entire life to the sole pursuit of that one thing -- even as millions around us, in the same world we are in - suffer without the means to live in dignity...

When we yell at our children and judge them as inferior, and repeat our beliefs and values to them until they say 'yes mom', or 'yes dad' and prove to us that they have been successfully programmed to follow us as their authority figure?

When we laugh at a politician or someone else which we don't like, and would gladly see them suffer, or humiliated, or even killed?


This is the reality of ourselves. We are all contributing every day to the current reality of Human Nature. We are keeping our nature alive, through acceptance and allowance.

Blame is not a solution, war is not a solution, punishment is not a solution, hopelessness is not a solution, turning a blind eye is not a solution, happiness is not a solution, sex is not a solution, dying and going to heaven is not a solution, depression is not a solution, escaping is not a solution, coping is not a solution, waiting is not a solution.

And, obviously - participating in the same patterns that some of us in this world take to violent extremes -- is not a solution.

Can terrorism ever end as long as the majority of Human Beings participate in judgment, reactions, blame, emotional behavior? If we continue as such - we simply perpetuate further generations of individuals and groups who will inevitably take those patterns to the extreme.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the solution to this world is not 'saving the world', or 'killing our enemies', but in taking responsibility for my individual mind / behavior / patterns, and to demonstrate how it's possible to change myself in the day to day, moment to moment reality - including the reality of the space inside my head where I'm 'alone' - which is where the actual truth of me is shown.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how it's not about being 'positive' and spreading 'nice words and feelings' -- because those nice words and feelings are simply existing within the polarity design of 'positive / negative' 'high / low', 'happiness / fear' -- in the mind, which is the same design that every human is participating in right now according to their individual self interest - even the terrorists.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that changing myself is not impossible, but that I have simply not realized and seen the tool of Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness, which I can use to deconstruct and release myself from patterns, so that I can then investigate what is the actual practical, effective way of living in relation to friends, family, money, career, culture, entertainment, interests, etc -- instead of being directed by programming as thoughts, feelings, and emotions based on judgments, desires, fears, fantasies coping mechanisms - that I didn't even remember how I created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be scared by the long and wordy blog above, instead of seeing and realizing that, just like anything where you develop a skill / learn something new - you don't start at the end - you start at the beginning and take it one step, one day at a time.

And, for you readers - I commit myself to share more examples from my own process of changing myself in the 'day to day' reality of myself.

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Day 319: That 'block' when you haven't blogged in a while

What I've noticed when I don't write blogs in some time, is that I experience a kind of 'sharing block', or rather, an 'expression block' where - when I sit down and decide to write, I immediately start going through points in my head looking for something to start with. Should I share something from my personal life process I've been walking since I blogged last? Should I write about a current event? And I start going over all the possible topics, which I notice I am looking at from the starting point of 'okay I want to start with a topic / point that I am satisfied with, something that will set the stage for the next blog, and the next blog. Basically, going into an emotion of feeling 'behind' with sharing the insights / realizations I have, and wanting to 'catch up'.

Interestingly though, many times when this kind of block or resistance happens after postponing sharing, I realize after I actually start writing, that the actual relevant point to write about - was my experience of postponement itself. That's the funny thing about the mind - when you're busy trying to do things from the starting point of an idea based on self judgments, wants, desires, comparison - like 'I should write about this because I'm behind in sharing about that topic', for example -- you don't see the reality of what's going on in your mind in that moment - which is that you're accessing an idea instead of really working with what is HERE self honestly.

So, I'm writing this blog to get myself out of that 'block' experience, and letting go of the ideas and thoughts about what to write.

This actually opens up a point which I realized some time ago, which is that when I'm not moving myself in self expression, living fully in every moment within taking the opportunities that open up during my day to share, participate, develop -- then I'm not giving life to myself as who I really am as self expression of me as Life. And, within this, since I'm not living fully - not giving life to myself, expressing ME - I'll go into a kind of subtle 'low' experience underlying my day, and in this subtle low / subtle 'less than' experience, my mind will activate the desire to seek out a point of stimulation - a way to stimulate a momentary 'high' / 'more than' experience - as for instance you'd get when you are participating in a fantasy, playing a game, watching a movie, etc, or , typically what I'll do is busy myself with a project that doesn't involve sharing so I don't have to face that block, where I'll actually justify this with 'well I'm using my time to work on / develop this project, which is important, so - it's fine, I'll get to the sharing point later. Which of course, is just postponement. But in this postponement, as long as I'm 'busying myself', I can, for a moment move out of that 'low' experience, and I'm now 'experiencing something!'

But also within this, I know I'm not really satisfied because I KNOW I'm postponing, so I still have that background 'low experience', which opens up little moments of temptation to stimulate myself in my mind with fantasies or spending too much time on entertainment, so I can move back into the positive.

So the lesson I've learned within this is that where there is no self expression - where there is postponement, suppression, self neglect - where there is no real self movement of the REAL me as the being within my body, here as a breath - the mind activates and starts the process of generating the fake version of self expression / living, which is just positive experiences - in polarity with that starting point negative / low experience.

So, it always comes down to the question of - am I giving life to myself? Am I creating me through self expression / as self expression? Or am I creating myself as a system, as defined by the 'movement' between negative/positive/low/high?

Friday, June 3, 2016

Day 318: Positivityin5Words


I saw this hashtag on Twitter and it looked like a fun exercise. To me, the word Positive is not something that means you just feel good, or that you think about things you like and desire, because there are people in this world who do terrible things in the name of what feels good and what they like or desire to do. To me, the word Positivity should be specific to encompass that which benefits everyone in a practical way. So, here are some examples of #PositivityIn5Words that I came up with. Try some yourself!

Exploring Solutions Instead of Blaming

Slow Down and Breathe First

Considering Everyone in All Things

Every Child Reaching Fullest Potential

Animals Reaching Their Fullest Potential

Nature Reaching Its Fullest Potential

Failure Is A Learning Opportunity

Writing Out Your Reactions Daily

Assessing Your Starting Point Always

Being Ready To Learn Always

Making Time To Share Insights

Allowing Self To Unconditionally Listen

Being Willing To Change Definitions

Placing Self In Another's Shoes

Writing To Diffuse Reactive Energy

Identifying And Releasing Impractical Expectations

I could go on, but it's almost bedtime :)

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Day 317: Socio Economic Genetic Modification

Science now shows that poverty actually has a consequential effect on your very DNA, and that these effects can be passed on to children. Read the following excerpt from an article by Ian Johnston of the Independent:

"Living in poverty can cause changes to people’s DNA that make them more likely to become depressed, anxious and possibly take drugs, according to a ground-breaking new study.
Researchers in the United States found that teenagers from deprived backgrounds tended to undergo changes to a gene that increases the activity of a part of the brain involved in the ‘fight or flight’ response and panic attacks. This increased activity in the amygdala has been linked to a greater risk of depression. 
They also found that a low socio-economic status was associated with low levels of serotonin, sometimes referred to as the happiness hormone. 
In recent years, studies have shown that not only can genes be changed by the environment and even social interactions, but these ‘epigenetic’ changes can then be passed on to the next generation."
Being poor can change your genes and increase your chances of depression

What these findings demonstrate is how our socio-economic status / environment actually plays quite a significant role in Genetically Engineering us as a Human Being.

Sure we've all heard success stories about people who were able to transcend their poor upbringing to become millionaires - but the reality is that those individuals represent a tiny fraction of those living in poverty.

We all know people in our own lives and worlds who, even in spite of living in an environment of financial security and plenty of support, still tend towards depression, self defeat, social anxiety, fear of failure, etc. And look how much effort it takes to stand up from within such experiences and learn to assist and support yourself to change those patterns and develop yourself and take responsibility for your life.

Imagine being in a situation where everyone around you comes from generations of poverty - your parents, your neighbors, your friends. Imagine being in a situation where you grow up in an environment of every day interacting with drug users, crime, alcoholism. Imagine being in a situation where you are growing up in a state of physical stress because you're not getting enough to eat. Imagine growing up without an effective education, with a personality and thought process and self definition shaped by gang culture, drug culture, poverty culture. Imagine you are a person who naturally tends toward self judgment, depression, addiction. Imagine how much more difficult it would be to stand up from such experiences living in poverty surrounded by poverty, with your very DNA having been influenced to become more susceptible to depression, anxiety, and addiction.

I mean, I myself grew up in a financially secure environment, with a loving, supportive family and access to good schools, and plenty of opportunity to develop skills and abilities and career paths. However, I was a very emotional child and ended up taking every experience of failure and difficulty in school and social situations to heart, and ended up with a personality driven by fear of failure and extensive self judgments and insecurities and a tendency toward depression. It's taken me YEARS of writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application to get to a point where I'm only now at age 32 at a stage where I've developed the skills, self esteem and personal drive to be able to make use of the opportunities in my life.

Look how much effort those of us living in a more stable, financially secure situation put into learning methods of nutrition, education, parenting - in order to enhance and support the development of our children? Why do we do this? Because we understand the common sense that we are in large part actually engineering a Human Being, and that it is a very delicate, specific process not to be taken lightly. And even with all of that -- there are still many people like me, coming from very positive childhood environments, who still end up developing emotional / mental patterns that are difficult to change.

If we as Man are ever to truly become the Shepherds of the Earth, we'll need to get over the idea / fear of 'playing god', and take responsibility for the aspect of Humanity that is engineered by environmental factors, and change those factors to factor in what is best for each individual and thus create a world that is best for everyone.

"Social Engineering Must have the outcome that is best for all life where every child born is guaranteed a Life of Worth. Life is the Only Real Value on Earth!" 
~Bernard Poolman

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