Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Day 266: Am I Funding Suppression or Funding Change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse entertainment as a way to, in a moment suppress an experience of resistance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in and fuel the system of stimulation within myself, as a way to suppress what I'm experiencing, to, in a moment create the illusion that the experience doesn't exist and I'm 'free' of it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within my own starting point / standing of accepting and allowing stimulation as suppression to exist in myself, accept and allow stimulation as suppression to exist in everyone else and making the process of creating a world that is best for all take longer, as I am, within choosing a moment of suppression and stimulation over taking self responsibility and moving myself as Life as self honesty to face and change myself, wasting a moment of space-time opportunity in which to take action -- moments of space-time that accumulate into a day, a week, a month, a year - a lifetime

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that in abusing the amenities and comforts and entertainments I am able to afford, in moments of deliberate suppression and postponing of changing myself and using my time effectively because of a moment of -- 'I don't WANT to experience this and so I will find something else to do' - I am in fact using my money to fund suppression, to fund stimulation, to fund self interest - which is the very problem we face as humanity in this world where - we are abusing our resources to fund ways of suppressing in ourselves what we actually see is going on in the world and how it is unacceptable -- funding in essence a waste of time within which the consequences only accumulate and get worse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to decide to postpone moments of change and suppress moments of resistance, even when I in fact see that - if my entertainment and little points where I can stimulate myself and suppress / postpone points of change, were taken away -- I would in fact be using my time more effectively

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately waste even one moment of time and space where I see I have the opportunity to change / take action

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in essence support the outcome that - we must have everything we like taken away and be forced to change by consequence and suffering

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the experience of stimulation and 'being entertained', with the word Freedom and to believe that experiencing stimulation and entertainment is 'freedom'

I commit myself to stop abusing entertainment

When and as I experience a moment of resistance and the thought pops into my head where I see myself doing something else - I commit myself to STOP and CATCH that thought, and delete it, and take a moment to identify what is a practical action that I could take in this moment, in pushing through this resistance, and make the Decision to act

I commit myself to stop abusing my money - to stop funding suppression, stimulation, and the abuse of entertainment

I commit myself to show and be an example of how we can use our money to fund the process of actually changing ourselves and sharing that process to assist and support others to realize they can change, to thus gradually grow the group of people actually changing themselves from self interest to what is best for all, to be able to, in this lifetime make an actual change in this world

I also suggest investing in the Suppression series by the Atlanteans on Eqafe, which has assisted and supported me in specifying my awareness of where and how suppression exists in me and how to change.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Day 265: Uncovering the 'I AM' Statements Hidden in Reactions - 2

Continuing from this last post:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as I see someone left something unfinished, immediately react in judgment towards them of 'they deserve to be blamed for this', within the statement of 'they deliberately did not do this because they didn't want to, and now I have to'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is 'unfair' for me to pick up after someone else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project the assumption that the ONLY reason they didn't do the thing, was because 'they didn't want to', within this using this assumption / belief as a justification to believe that THEY were the one being spiteful, in order to further justify a reaction within myself of the emotion of feeling abused, and further then using this emotion as a justification to believe that by then reacting in anger / annoyance / irritation -- I am in some way expressing a valid form of 'not accepting abuse' and that I am 'a victim of THEIR spitefulness' and that THEY are a 'problem' in this moment / scenario I am experiencing

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize and see that I go into such reactions of judgment / assumption / blame toward such behaviors of others, in order to manifest the necessary negative / friction experience within myself that leads to the positive experience of seeing myself / experiencing myself as 'responsible', and 'thorough', and 'considerate of others' -- where, in order to have this experience of myself -- I manifest a negative experience of / toward others so that I can generate a positive experience about myself / within myself - for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from who I am as life as all as one as equal here, through and as the character / self idea / I Am statements of 'I am responsible', 'I am thorough', 'I am considerate', within and as a positive self judgment - through which I was in fact making myself 'more than' the actuality of the application / living of responsibility, thoroughness, consideration -- separating myself from physical reality within my mind as energy -- and wherein, in order for such a 'more than' experience of myself to exist as the positive point -- I had to then also manifest the negative point of seeing and experiencing others / my world in some way as 'less than me' -- which I could only do through judgment and blame and manifesting reactions of emotions / negative energy within myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my interest in being / living as a character defined by 'I Am' statements through which I can manifest the experience of being more than what is here / more than another / better than another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the lie of consciousness as an experience of self ideas / I Am statements defined in separation from and of myself as Here as all as one as equal as Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the only REAL 'I' -- is the 'I' of and as Life Here as all as one as equal -- and that, in defining myself through and as 'I AM' statements made within the starting point of creating an experience of being 'more than' another / better than another - I am making myself less than the REAL 'I' - less than what is Here -- diminishing myself into a character in my mind --- in order to manifest myself as a positive experience -- which then also comes with the manifestation of the Negative polarity / friction point required to generate the positive experience of being more than / better than, within the 'I AM' statements I have defined myself within and as, and that no matter how effective I believe I am within my 'I AM' statements --- as long as such characters / statements exist within me as self definitions -- as long as I am in fact standing / manifesting myself in separation from and of who I am Here as Life as all as one as equal -- I will be missing out / not able to really SEE and work with reality -- as I will be existing within / directed by patterns automated within the function of generating energy within and as the mind / consciousness

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize the importance of specifically uncovering all 'I AM" statements I have defined myself within -- to be able to identify exactly where I have defined myself in separation as characters through which I have manifested myself as patterns that function to generate energy within and as polarity designs within my mind as consciousness in separation of who I am here as life as all as one as equal

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So to recap, I had accepted and allowed myself to define myself within and through an 'I Am' statement of 'I am thorough and responsible' within a positive self-value judgment / self idea / comparison point toward others within judging people who are not thorough within a negative value judgment in order to manifest reactions of annoyance / irritation / frustration / anger within myself toward them to then be able to move toward / generate the positive experience of me 'being thorough / better than / more than'

Within this, and I'm sure many can see this in themselves as well -- I can see that I in my own world also have moments in which I'm not totally thorough / don't do something either because of a moment of 'I don't want to', or 'that can wait' -- or also simply moments where it's really not necessary to do some little thing --- basically, doing all the same things that within my 'I Am' statement self definition / character of 'being thorough' -- I would react to / judge another for doing.

It always comes back to the same basic principle which is that -- wherever there is a reaction toward another -- there is something in what they're doing -- that's showing something about what self is doing that self just doesn't want to see / be self honest about, because self is wrapped up in whatever 'I Am' statements / self definitions that are functioning automatically to defend / protect their existence as energy through reactions / blame / taking the attention away from self.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize and see how reactions of feelings and emotions and even experiences of seeing myself in a way that has any kind of positive experience attached to it -- within any kind of comparison point to another where I am in any way seeing something / someone else within the slightest negative experience within myself -- such experiences are designed through the starting point of making self 'more than'  - which is only possible through separating self from Who I Am as Life as Equality and Oneness into and as a Consciousness designed through self definitions / 'I Am' statements that manifest self into and as a polarity design of -- Friction / negative that moves toward the Positive -- creating the illusion that there exists a 'less than', and a 'more than'

I commit myself to show that practical applications / expressions can be lived within this reality within giving practical direction to situations / people -- without making such applications / expressions into a point of 'more than' through positive self-judgments / self definitions / I Am statements

I commit myself to in all ways stop the interest / desire / tendency / habit of wanting to experience myself as more than another / better than another

I commit myself to show that self definitions where I am making myself 'more than' another in some way through 'I Am' statements where I am defining myself according to positive self-value judgments connected to how I do things / specific skills / aptitudes / expressions -- are not self definitions that can stand eternal in all realities / dimensions / scenarios because they require specific relationships / situations within this world / reality as it exists through which self can compare self to others through judgments and manifest / generate the energy that fulfills the 'I Am' statement / creates the illusion that self is experiencing self as 'more than'

I commit myself to in all ways stop defining myself within 'I Am' statements of positive self-judgment, according to how I do things / specific skills and aptitudes that I have -- and to instead realize that Who I Am is Life, is Self Honesty - and that this is a self definition that can stand eternal in all realities / dimensions / scenarios - and within this I find and delete any 'I Am' statement that stands in separation from / of Who I Am as Life, as Self Honesty

I commit myself to show that we are able to live together / work together / direct our world together / solve problems together / resolve misunderstandings -- all without any form of reactions of annoyance / irritation / frustration / anger / blame / toward each other

I commit myself to show that the only way to stop conflict in this reality / among ourselves is to take self responsibility for how we define ourselves and the characters we manifest within our minds through our self definitions

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Day 264: Uncovering the 'I AM' Statements Hidden in Reactions - 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as I see someone left something unfinished, immediately react in judgment towards them of 'they deserve to be blamed for this', within the statement of 'they deliberately did not do this because they didn't want to, and now I have to'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is 'unfair' for me to pick up after someone else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project the assumption that the ONLY reason they didn't do the thing, was because 'they didn't want to', within this using this assumption / belief as a justification to believe that THEY were the one being spiteful, in order to further justify a reaction within myself of the emotion of feeling abused, and further then using this emotion as a justification to believe that by then reacting in anger / annoyance / irritation -- I am in some way expressing a valid form of 'not accepting abuse' and that I am 'a victim of THEIR spitefulness' and that THEY are a 'problem' in this moment / scenario I am experiencing

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize and see that I go into such reactions of judgment / assumption / blame toward such behaviors of others, in order to manifest the necessary negative / friction experience within myself that leads to the positive experience of seeing myself / experiencing myself as 'responsible', and 'thorough', and 'considerate of others' -- where, in order to have this experience of myself -- I manifest a negative experience of / toward others so that I can generate a positive experience about myself / within myself - for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from who I am as life as all as one as equal here, through and as the character / self idea / I Am statements of 'I am responsible', 'I am thorough', 'I am considerate', within and as a positive self judgment - through which I was in fact making myself 'more than' the actuality of the application / living of responsibility, thoroughness, consideration -- separating myself from physical reality within my mind as energy -- and wherein, in order for such a 'more than' experience of myself to exist as the positive point -- I had to then also manifest the negative point of seeing and experiencing others / my world in some way as 'less than me' -- which I could only do through judgment and blame and manifesting reactions of emotions / negative energy within myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my interest in being / living as a character defined by 'I Am' statements through which I can manifest the experience of being more than what is here / more than another / better than another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the lie of consciousness as an experience of self ideas / I Am statements defined in separation from and of myself as Here as all as one as equal as Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the only REAL 'I' -- is the 'I' of and as Life Here as all as one as equal -- and that, in defining myself through and as 'I AM' statements made within the starting point of creating an experience of being 'more than' another / better than another - I am making myself less than the REAL 'I' - less than what is Here -- diminishing myself into a character in my mind --- in order to manifest myself as a positive experience -- which then also comes with the manifestation of the Negative polarity / friction point required to generate the positive experience of being more than / better than, within the 'I AM' statements I have defined myself within and as, and that no matter how effective I believe I am within my 'I AM' statements --- as long as such characters / statements exist within me as self definitions -- as long as I am in fact standing / manifesting myself in separation from and of who I am Here as Life as all as one as equal -- I will be missing out / not able to really SEE and work with reality -- as I will be existing within / directed by patterns automated within the function of generating energy within and as the mind / consciousness

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize the importance of specifically uncovering all 'I AM" statements I have defined myself within -- to be able to identify exactly where I have defined myself in separation as characters through which I have manifested myself as patterns that function to generate energy within and as polarity designs within my mind as consciousness in separation of who I am here as life as all as one as equal

Will continue in the next post...

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