Saturday, January 17, 2015

Day 286: Fundamentals of Stopping Terrorism





There are many people in the world with definitions and beliefs that justify violence - religious extremists being an example that we are all familiar with, especially these days with the conflicts around the whole 'Islamic fundamentalist' point.

Let's say you are observing the violent behavior of one of these extreme religious groups, and within yourself you are seeing, hey this is not acceptable, people are killing people because they believe that some behavior or other is going against what they believe 'god' wants people to do or not do, or say or not say. You're saying to yourself, this is not productive behavior for the human race, this needs to stop. You see that the behavior of killing and violence is like the ultimate act of saying 'I am right and you are wrong'. But - you understand that killing people because of something you believe, is not 'right' or beneficial, or indicative of practical values that support the human race. Then - you feel powerless, frustrated, angry because I mean, what do you do? What is the solution when faced with such behavior that is being carried out by so many people? And within this reaction, within this frustration -- what's then easiest thing to do that, according to your experience of powerlessness, of anger, feels the most 'logical'? Blame of course. All your focus zeroes in on the apparent 'source' of what you are experiencing, which is - 'those people'. And, when you feel powerless and angry toward what someone is doing, what do you want? What are you going to look for? You want to feel like you're in control, and you're going to look for a way to try and take the power away from 'that person' or people who 'made me feel like this'. And, in the case of dealing with religious beliefs - you know that when someone's beliefs are so strongly entrenched that they will kill in the name of their beliefs, that they are going to easily react and experience offense and become upset when you say or do things that go against their beliefs. So, in your mind you realize -- ah ha, I have a way to control you, I have a way to manipulate your experience and make YOU feel frustrated! And, isn't this precisely what is happening in the case of the "Charlie Hebdo" situation? What we are calling "freedom of speech" in this case, really only amounts to an attempt to manipulate how someone experiences themselves, in order to feel like we have some control --- in essence, to make ourselves feel good about ourselves, to give ourselves some solution to the powerlessness we experience in the face of such extreme violence.

But is ridicule and mockery really the solution for dealing with millions of people willing to physically harm and kill those who go against what they believe? I mean, when you deliberately antagonize and provoke reaction in someone that you know wants to KILL you for doing so, and very readily has the means to do so -- you are deliberately provoking consequence. The debate over whether we have a 'right of free speech' to mock other people's beliefs, is really not the issue that requires attention here. The problem we face as humanity is not 'how to protect free speech', or how to 'tolerate' divisive and violent beliefs, it is rather the question of how do we fundamentally take RESPONSIBILITY for who we are, for what we've become, for the thoughts, reactions, definitions that direct our physical actions? How can we PRACTICALLY get to the eventual point of being able to live together harmoniously on Earth, standing ALONE without feeling the need to look outside of ourselves for a power to direct our lives for us?

What the "secular" world shows is that, merely renouncing religious beliefs for instance, does not mean that you suddenly are a more 'evolved' person who has all the solutions. The state of humanity at the moment is that, whether you have particular religious or spiritual beliefs or not, you still are directed by reactions, emotions, judgments. I mean every day people from all backgrounds and cultures get angry, yell at each other, argue with each other, judge each other 'secretly' in thought, and engage in mini-wars centered around the validation of each others' self definitions and 'ways of doing things'. Using 'free speech' in the name of mockery to try and make people react and then saying 'oh I'm just 'expressing my views', isn't going to change the beliefs of the millions of people engaging in violent and destructive behavior toward their fellow man. Such behavior only shows a lack of understanding and insight into how to direct such problems to a solution. And, if your speech is dictated by reactions and thoughts and emotional experiences that come up within you without you making a directive decision for it to exist and understanding exactly where it came from and how it exists in you, that make you do things like yell, scream, slam doors, spew words that you later regret, form opinions and ideas about things based on your own self interest rather than how something actually works, and engage in secret conversations in your mind that you'd be afraid to reveal to others -- then how can you claim your speech and expression is free anyway?

Thus the message of Desteni, in which we are suggesting that the practical approach to taking on these problems of massive violence that seem to be beyond our ability to stop, is to start with SELF, with the question of - okay, if such behavior is the result of the physical actions being directed by patterns of reactions, thoughts, emotions, feelings built upon a foundation of knowledge and beliefs -- how am I accepting and allowing myself to exist as and participate in the SAME starting point -- the SAME basic principles of SELF-PROGRAMMING? And, how, from my birth, did I come to exist this way? How did MY OWN programs get installed in me? And how can I STOP my own programs, and become Self-Directed, able to look at living and participating in this world from a starting point of what is best for all life, rather than being directed by the energy and impetus of my own preprogrammed thoughts, feelings, and emotions? And then - as I walk this process of taking Self Responsibility to develop Self Honesty with myself and what exists in me, and as I Forgive Myself for that which I see I accepted and allowed myself to define myself as from a starting point that does not take into consideration all life as one and equal - I share my process of coming to a direct understanding of the nature and content of MY mind, and MY experiences --- within understanding that in doing this, I will be assisting and supporting others who can relate to my process, to take Self Responsibility for THEIR mind and THEIR experiences. In this way we develop a group of people who are able to stand as examples through WRITTEN proof, that we as humanity are able to change.

We have to show how we are making practical changes in our own lives, in our own inner world, and how we are changing our decision making process and starting point in the practical, day to day scenarios that we face as a human being, in no longer being directed by reactive patterns and agendas of judgment and blame, and self interested values only used to make ourselves feel good, or feel superior, or feel in control, or feel right. After all, if we are not able to stand one and equal with our own mind and see how the process of self programming actually takes place, how can we ever understand the process of how a person becomes a terrorist, or how any other behavior develops for that matter?

Friday, January 2, 2015

Day 285: Our Economic Sickness

Artwork by Marlen Vargas del Razo
This week I was sick with a cold and fever. I spent my time at home between my bed sleeping, and my chair where I would watch movies and do a little reading on my computer. Everyone reading this can relate to the experience of being home sick, feeling really, really crappy. Maybe with the flu, puking in the toilet and feeling like you're gonna die, or burning with fever, feeling like you're gonna die, or maybe a really bad sore throat, or cough, or perhaps something even worse that lasts into the weeks.

And I'm sure that everyone can relate to at some point during your sickness, in the midst of all your suffering, having the experience of being so so so glad that at least you're at home, in a comfortable place, where you can ride it out. And, those reading this blog will also be able to relate to how easy it is to access medicine that can, in most cases alleviate really uncomfortable symptoms. I mean it's as easy as a short drive to your choice of local supermarket or drugstore. In a rich country, when you have a job, and an income, and a place to live, and can afford all the basic creature comforts, it's more or less pretty easy to cope with your run of the mill illness. In fact most of us would agree it's a great time to get some rest and take some time off work, right?

But what about those who don't have access to all that nice stuff like a comfortable home, plumbing, electricity, the right kinds of foods, medicines, internet, computers? It's people in such conditions, that who truly experience the depths of physical pain, discomfort, and suffering, that really show me where we're at as a society. I place myself in their place. I swap places with them -- and that's where I see what's real. That's where I see that our current economic value system does not support life. And that's also where I look at my own life, my own resources - and see how astoundingly great they are by comparison. But do I feel grateful? Does it make me happy to have what I have access to? No. Because to feel happy about what I have, while another -- equal to me as Life, goes without what I'd want for myself, and has no chance at the kind of life I have -- I mean I'd have to separate myself from that person. I'd have to remove them from my world, from that which I see as part of me. I'd have to in some way convince myself that it's simply not my concern. I'd be putting myself in a bubble. And I mean that's so easy to do when you have money. But really, to anyone reading this, who would be okay swapping places with someone in the most dire poverty, right in the middle of say, a nasty bout of stomach flu? What if there was no toilet? No medicine? No plumbing? No electricity? No comfy bed? Would anyone want to do that?

Now imagine, with an effective guaranteed living income system, we could eliminate such conditions from planet Earth. Therefore to me, dedicating myself to supporting the research, development and implementation of such a system in the name of basic human rights, is to me far more relevant than feeling happy about what I have in the face of others who have nothing.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Day 284: Why I don't Celebrate Christmas


To preface this blog, I would suggest that it's important to consider the following quote:

"I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the passion of the Christ demonstrate in various symbolisms that the Physical-Body is the Temple of God that should not be subjected to Money-Lenders in all its forms as the Physical-Body, is the vehicle through which creation on Earth takes place - and therefore the Eco-System as Earth is given, as One Body, as Support, for All Bodies of Flesh on Earth. And thus – the Passion for Economics should be to design and present ways that make sure that every Body of Flesh that enters this System is supported in every way, so that no one Ever needs to Suffer and Wish they were Born into another Body simply because they are part of the ‘have-not’s’, while the ‘have’s’ passionately protects their lifestyle, creating theories as personal-theology, justifying their passion for self-interest, defining morality based-on possession and ownership of that which was given freely to All – implying that those that do not allow equality for All Bodies of Life: are in fact the Thieves of Life, and as such must be held accountable - which is inevitable through Democracy, where the Majority will no longer accept the Mockery that is being made of Life as Bodies, just to allow the Minority to have a Lifestyle protected through an Economic System that does not include All Bodies of Life on Earth. 

Would Jesus celebrate Christmas?

Would Jesus approve of Christmas?

 Would Jesus approve of how we accept and allow billions of dollars and untold physical resources and labor and planning and to be spent on the annual perpetuation of a day that pretty much amounts to a self-imposed tradition of permeating the physical world with an interactive sensory stimulation fest consisting of pictures, sounds, foods, clothing, toys, decorations, specifically engineered plants (christmas trees), all interwoven with the bizarre and inexplicable themes of snowmen, the colors red, green, and white, jingling bells, boughs of holly, anthropomorphized pumpkins, (oh wait that's halloween), a magical fat man that flies around giving toys to girls and boys, all while apparently celebrating the birth of a savior of mankind who has somehow guaranteed us a comfortable afterlife experience singing hallelujah and making cakes and cookies with our dead grandmothers in the clouds for eternity, finally free from all the things we hate like paying bills, physical pain and illness, cold and wet weather, and various forms of potential harm that may come to us in this big scary world, as a big scary demon shakes his pitchfork at us and curses our decision 'accept Jesus as our savior'?

Shit, I'm sorry but none of this makes a lick o' sense to me. And, never mind all the irrelevant backstory and historical pagan origins of Christmas symbology and traditions - that doesn't matter, it doesn't make any of this any more rational or 'meaningful' whatsoever.

What does any of this have to do with the message of Jesus at a fundamental level which is - to treat each other as equals and give each other what we'd like for ourselves? Did jesus say 'behold, I hereby set forth the decree that the act of giving is to be defined by buying presents for each other on one special day of the year, which are to be wrapped in shiny paper and opened after eating a big meal?'

2000 years of Christmas - and how have we advanced in the way we live with each other on Earth? Isn't there something about 'peace on Earth and good will towards all'? Where is that anyway? Isn't ACTUAL good will where we each have the Will to place what's best for everyone before what we want for ourselves? Wouldn't good will be to have a system where Profit is the outcome of our capacity to use the Earth's resources and our 'human ingenuity' to provide everyone Equally with a dignified life, filled with purpose and opportunities to contribute and express themselves in meaningful ways, without having to wonder where the next meal is coming from?

Is there Peace and Good Will on Earth in physical fact? Nope. We're worse off than before Jesus was born. By that I mean - we have the technology to access anyone, anywhere, and provide them with anything, at any time -- and yet we don't use it for the benefit of All, and millions will starve to death this year, and the next, and the next.

Clearly, Christmas has nothing to do with anything 'meaningful' if you're talking about something that is for the benefit of Life on Earth. Christmas is simply a tradition -- something we've been doing for so long that we believe it's actually part of 'who we are', and that it's actually in some way 'natural'. And, we humans tend to do this weird thing where, when we develop an emotional / memory attachment to something in childhood, that apparently means it's 'important', and 'of value', and 'has meaning', and is 'part of who I am' and then we 'feel bad' if we were to consider giving that thing up, and we want to 'pass it on' to the next generation because we want them to 'experience' the same thing. And then of course there's the element of Fear of being ostracized or rejected or judged as 'cold' or 'uncaring' for not buying presents or celebrating Christmas, or whatever the tradition might be. And that would be an example of how dysfunctional our relationships in fact are; being based on the protection of memories and self definitions rather than common sense and self honesty, standing as Equals as Life.

But all of this, thankfully, is unnecessary and can be changed, because what we're showing at Desteni within our thousands of Journey to Life blogs is that - we have the ability to Forgive ourselves for the attachments and emotions and memories and ideas we've defined ourselves by, and free ourselves to be able to view things and make decisions, and educate our children and plan our world based on common sense and Self Honesty and what's in fact Best for All.

I don't celebrate Christmas -- and yet, strangely enough I am still able to enjoy myself, and express myself with others and enjoy their company. And I much prefer being free of the fears and thoughts and stresses and emotional rollercoasters and constant mental preoccupation with 'the holidays' and all the planning and expenses involved, and trying to please others. I'm not a 'bah humbug', and I'm not a 'grinch'. I'm a human, I'm life, I'm on planet Earth. I care about Life. Life is my Value. Life is my Culture. And principles and actions that support what is Best for All Life -- that is what interests me. As for Celebration -- I'll celebrate when we have Proven our Good Will toward All by having a system where everyone is guaranteed a dignified life from birth to death.

If this blog makes sense to you, there's a free course you can do that will show you how to deconstruct things practically and take responsibility for your thoughts, emotions, and feelings, and change yourself to be able to live and express without the limitations of fear, memories, and self beliefs controlling your every moment of breath.

Check out www.desteniiprocess.com


Saturday, December 13, 2014

Day 283: Deconstructing my Relationship with Effort - Part 2


Continuing from my last post :
Day 282: Deconstructing My Relationship With Effort and Following Through Part 1 http://www.matterfreeman.com/2014/12/day-282-deconstructing-my-relationship.html

"Within my own life and my own process, I can say that one of the base points of my preprogramming that I've been walking with is exactly as is described in the Life Review, which is that of an experience of heaviness in relation to things that require putting in a lot of effort. And, here specifically what I'm talking about in my case is, effort as defined by consistent, disciplined, physical actions required to walk certain points to completion, such as going to college for example, or starting your own business and building it from the ground up -- things that require a constant and continuous drive and dedication with physical actions in physical space and time in order to follow through with. "
 In further reflecting on times in my life where I've experienced a resistance and heaviness toward putting in effort to complete things, I found that the word that stands out as the key here is - Completion. I've always struggled with taking an idea, a project, a skill, a responsibility, from the idea / inception / opportunity, through to a point of completion. Why? Because it requires Effort to complete things, and I've always tended to want to do things that take less effort. And the effect this has had in my life is that I tend to really struggle with completing projects. I've always tended to want to experience the end result NOW, and always tended to enjoy / be willing to spend time in the 'visionary' stage of a project, to the point of really perfecting the vision of how something could be / should be, and have found that I have a natural ability to see something's potential, but then when it comes to the moment where what's now required is to align my time to physical effort of taking the idea / vision to a point of actual Creation in physical reality -- that's where I'll tend to experience this resistance and heaviness and 'not wanting to', even with things that really interest me and that I see I have the potential to create / become. So what is it about Completion, about the Effort required to Complete something, that I'm actually resisting?

When I started looking at the word Completion, I asked myself - okay what is involved in taking something through to a point of completion in life, in this physical reality? Some words that I came up with are:

Commitment
Patience
Problem solving
Mistakes
Discipline
Learning
Compromise

So when I look at these words, they describe a process involved in taking something from an idea / potential / opportunity through to completion. So in my next post I'll begin opening this point up further in investigating my relationship / starting point within the process of walking something through to Completion.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Day 282: Deconstructing My Relationship With Effort and Following Through Part 1

I was listening to a life review titled Not Realizing Your Full Potential, in which a being describes how, during his life, he experienced a heaviness and resistance toward putting effort into things, and thus ended up not doing much with his life / not living to his full potential.

Within my own life and my own process, I can say that one of the base points of my preprogramming that I've been walking with is exactly as is described in the Life Review, which is that of an experience of heaviness in relation to things that require putting in a lot of effort. And, here specifically what I'm talking about in my case is, effort as defined by consistent, disciplined, physical actions required to walk certain points to completion, such as going to college for example, or starting your own business and building it from the ground up -- things that require a constant and continuous drive and dedication with physical actions in physical space and time in order to follow through with.

I've been working with this point for quite some time in my process, and can say that I have pushed through many such resistances and have changed in many ways with regards to doing things now in my life that in my past, I would have believed impossible for me to do. However, I still face this experience of heaviness come up in relation to certain points in my life, and I can say that it still influences me in a way where I end up putting in short bursts of effort, but find it difficult to walk this effort consistently, every day -- resulting in things taking longer than I self honestly see they could if I were to not have this experience come up. And, this heaviness only comes up in relation to specific points of effort, not all points of effort, so in my next post I'll be opening this point up and investigating my relationship to the word Effort, with the goal of getting to a more specific understanding of where this experience of heaviness comes from, and how I can better assist and support myself to develop the disciplined, consistent actions I see I have the potential for, in relation to the specific responsibilities in my life that I have taken on.


Friday, December 5, 2014

Day 281: Resisting Challenges In Life - Self Commitment Statements



Self Commitment statements in continuation of:
Day 280: Self Forgiveness on Resisting Challenges in Life http://www.matterfreeman.com/2014/11/day-280-self-forgiveness-on-resisting.html

When and as I am faced with a challenge, as an opportunity / responsibility, I commit myself to realize that challenges are not something to be feared or resisted, because they present an opportunity to 'go all in', and 'put my all' into something new, and expand myself through learning and changing in order to walk through the challenge

I commit myself to show that life was never meant to be 'fair', particularly not in the world as it exists where basic living ability is not even guaranteed,

I commit myself to show and share from my own experience how as a child growing up in a protected environment, in an ineffective education system without developing sufficient understanding of the challenges and responsibilities of living in physical reality / creating a life in physical reality, it is easy to get trapped into the illusion / idea that the world is supposed to just give you a life as you want it, which will then result in a shock when reality fails to do this, and the child / person will not necessarily realize and understand the fact that in order to change and be able to actually build an effective life in this world, they will have to give up all the ideas / self definitions formed in childhood, which will be difficult or impossible if the person does not have an understanding of Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness, and will probably become trapped in a limited life, feeling like a victim of an 'unfair world' -- where, thus what is actually more 'fair' to a child, rather than protecting / sheltering them from reality and encouraging them to see themselves as special and entitled to 'what makes them happy', is for the child to be shown the actual nature of this reality as it exists which is that it is not 'fair', and that you are not here to just do what you want, so that the child does not form unrealistic ideas, self definitions, and fantasies about life, which will cause disappointment and resistance to change later in life

I commit myself to show that the only 'fair' that really exists, is a world that is best for all life -- and that even then, the individual will still be responsible for creating their own life / expression and that nothing will ever just be 'given' or 'happen', in terms of reaching one's full potential

I commit myself to embrace challenges as they arise in my life, within the understanding that I have an opportunity to transcend through physical living application, my previous limiting self definitions, to not only change myself, but be able to demonstrate through sharing this process, how it is in fact possible to re-educate one's self with common sense and self honesty, and change the way one lives from being directed by childhood programming, to being self directed and thus able to take responsibility to stand as a point of real change in the world

I commit myself to explore enjoyment of challenges, and to specifically assist and support myself within this by, instead of immediately reacting to the challenge within the habitual negative charge I had been used to experiencing with challenges and seeing it as a 'problem' and 'unfair', to take a moment, breathe, identify any energy that has activated in my body, release the energy / reaction / any judgment, and focus on identifying where, within this challenge I face, is there a SOLUTION through which I can expand myself / my effectiveness / my life

I commit myself to re-align my starting point within challenges from seeing it as a 'problem' or 'obstacle', to realizing that, creating something in this reality, in this world, within my life, in my living self expression, requires a physical process in space time of expanding myself through consistent, disciplined action - and that, that's how it always was, but I didn't see it this way because I was holding onto the idea of it being 'fair' that, that which I have potential within, should just 'come to me'

I commit myself to show that it's actually fair that we exist in this physical reality where consequence can become so difficult and painful, because otherwise - we wouldn't have been able to manifest such clear evidence of how dysfunctional self interest / separation as a starting point is, to place ourselves in the position to be able to decide to finally stop self interest / separation and really walk a real process of change where we have the opportunity to really prove to ourselves that we can be fair for REAL, which is to become / create what is best for all through real, consistence, disciplined self honesty and action in the face of all the struggle and difficulty we've manifested as our environment in this reality - where, I can say now that it is in fact FAIR that I am faced with all the challenges I am faced with, because such challenges are really simply showing me who I am in relation to all that is here, and where / how exactly in absolute specificity I still exist within a starting point of separation / self interest, so that I can be absolutely specific in my self honesty and self forgiveness and self commitment / correction statements and application

It's interesting with this point of resisting challenges, because for years now I've been walking within the understanding that, obviously yes things don't just 'happen', or 'come to you' in your life, and that it requires discipline and taking self responsibility, and pushing through resistances, etc -- and within this I've transcended quite a few resistances / fears / judgments, etc toward things in my world, and been able to expand myself quite substantially from where / who I was in the past ---- and yet I had not really opened up this word 'Fairness' before, and thus my experience of myself was still being influenced by the definition / associations / values I had accepted / been living within the word Fairness. So this shows how important it is to, when faced with a repeating resistance / reaction / emotion / inner experience that just seems to keep 'hanging around', really locate the specific word / words within the experience that contain like, the essence of the experience -- because those specific words are like Keys that hold the self realizations / self honesty that opens up clear and specific Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective insights.

So I'll see how things unfold as I walk my days and face challenges, and post updates in regards to what I'm finding within my new application.


Saturday, November 29, 2014

Day 280: Self Forgiveness on Resisting Challenges in Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a negative charged judgment to the word Challenge, and to define myself within the statement of 'I do not like challenges'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest a dislike / resistance to challenges within and as myself, when I reached an age where I began to experience and face how I cannot simply do things the way I want and have things be easy, because I defined myself, my enjoyment, my ability, within the things I had already become comfortable doing, and did not understand the reality of the process of physical effort and disciplined action required to really take something from ideas and potential into actual physical reality in my life / as myself, and so reacted to situations that challenged me to give up the way I wanted to do things / imagined things, because that would mean giving up my self definition -- but I did not see or realize this at the time and so experienced that I am being subjected to something 'unfair'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define challenges -- things that push me to change and go outside of my comfort zone, as 'unfair'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, from a young age define myself within the idea and belief that things are supposed to be 'fair', as defined by - people and things in my life fitting in with what is comfortable to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form an idea of 'what the world should be like', as a projection / imagination of me experiencing myself not having to do things that I don't want to / prefer doing, and to not see and realize that this idea only exists as a positive polarity projection in my mind based on me having judged / blamed what is here / the world that is here / what I'm required to do / my responsibilities, within a negative charged judgment of it 'being unfair' as defined by 'forcing me to do things I don't want to / am not comfortable doing' -- and within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize and see that in order to experience myself within and as the self definition of 'me being in a world that is unfair', I must constantly exist within and as this polarity design of seeing / judging the world as being 'unfair', and seeing / judging my idea / projection of 'a world where I don't have to do things I resist / things that are not comfortable', as being 'fair'

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest resistance and an experience of apathy within and as myself toward what's required to be done in my life through constantly judging what is required to be done in my life as 'unfair'

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto my idea / projection of an experience of 'being freed from all these unfair things I have to do', within a point of secretly hoping that 'something will happen' that will enable me to take an 'easier way' and be able to 'get out of' the things in my life that currently stand as challenges / points that require effort and dedication and discipline - within this only perpetuating my experience of resistance and apathy toward challenges

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the idea / belief that I am 'unique' and 'different' and within this define my experience of resistance and apathy toward responsibilities in my life as being a result of my 'uniqueness' not being compatible with 'this world', within this placing myself as a victim instead of seeing and realizing that such a statement / starting point is actually just self manipulation of wanting to hold onto blame in order to protect my fantasy / idea of experiencing myself in a world 'free from responsibilities where I can just do whatever I want'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept myself / define myself to be less than / inferior to what is here as the world, in order to experience the idea that I am a victim, to provide the necessary friction / conflict toward what is here to move into the positive polarity point of my projection / idea of 'being free' as defined by the fantasy of not having to participate / discipline myself to face the challenges required in my life, which I connected a positive charge to -- and through which I defined myself to be 'superior' to what is here / how the world exists now -- where, my way of dealing with feeling inferior / fearing challenges, is to place myself up 'higher' on this platform where I judge / define myself to be 'a more free person' by nature and 'therefore that is why I resist the challenges and responsibilities in my life' -- even though I am not more free because if I was -- then I would have no problem embracing what is here, standing one and equal with what is here, and walking a real solution into manifestation for ALL here in and as this reality - where my idea of freedom is just Ego, just a Character I play to make myself feel better about not disciplining myself to walk through the resistances and fears I still face toward challenges and points where I have to step outside of my comfort zone

Self Commitment statements to follow...

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