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Monday, January 11, 2016

Day 313: Forgiving the past and allowing myself to move on



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the statement: 'I can, and will only enjoy myself and express myself if everything is going right in my life'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself and my expression and my full capacity to participate in working towards practical solutions to humanity, to the idea that I can only be inspired and motivated, and expected to express and share myself if the following conditions exist in my life: Making more money than is needed to 'make ends meet', and having a relationship, and that these conditions mean 'everything is going right', and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my current situation / reality / circumstance as 'wrong / bad / not enough'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that working a lot, not yet making the income I want, and not being in a relationship / agreement, is to blame / is the reason I 'don't feel motivated' to express myself and participate to my fullest capacity / potential

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'not making enough money, and having to work a lot, and not having a relationship', is the reason I have recently been experiencing 'not having inspiration / not being motivated / not wanting to express myself', within the belief that, when faced with challenges and things not working out as they could have in my life, that this must become a burden of failure, a burden of the past that I now must carry with me, and that the only way to 'get past' this burden, is to restore / re-create my life to the condition that was 'lost' / changed --- instead of seeing and realizing that, I created the burden because I decided to hold onto the past and judge myself for things having not worked out as I had wanted, and had decided to blame my life for being 'hard' -- thus within this using my creative ability to create myself into and as the experience of being burdened by failure, and having a lack of inspiration and motivation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a starting point of self destruction / self loathing / self blame in relation to failure / making mistakes, instead of a starting point of learning from my mistakes / learning from the past, and unconditional self support in USING the past and what I've learned from the past, to specify and perfect my application in the PRESENT in creating myself / creating my life to my full potential

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that who I am within the experience burden / lack of motivation, isn't who I want to be -- and yet this is who I am accepting and allowing myself to be - and that the reason I've been accepting and allowing myself to be this way is because I am still holding onto the idea / imagined experience of 'things being right' as defined by making more money / being in a relationships - and that I placed a positive value / charge in this idea, making this idea into the 'more than', while judging how and what my life is now as 'less than / not enough'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the momentum / energy of my experience of being in the low / not enough / negative polarity point as opposite of the positive point of my desires / ideas of what I want my life to be -- and to stay within this point within allowing myself to keep projecting the positive point in my mind -- trapping myself in a polarity instead of STOPPING and applying self forgiveness on both the positive and negative points of the polarity and releasing myself from the energy cycle -- within seeing and realizing that creating my life / expressing myself / shaping my life into what I want it to be - does not require the movement of energy / polarity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that not making as much money as I need, and not being in a relationship / agreement makes it more difficult for self expression to flow, instead of seeing and realizing that I'm the one blocking my own self expression, through deciding that who I am is not enough / not able to express myself, and that it's always a matter of simply moving and standing up from the energy I'm creating myself as - stopping, and changing who I am, making a new decision

I commit myself to unconditionally let go of the past, and apply what I've learned from my mistakes, to creating and expanding myself here and now in each moment of breath - creating myself new each day instead of holding myself hostage to the past through self judgment

When and as I see myself thinking about past mistakes and feeling bad / judging myself about it -- I commit myself to stop, breathe myself HERE, unconditionally let go of / forgive myself, and focus on what is to practically be learned from that past moment, and apply it to creating and expressing myself HERE

I commit myself to show that your life doesn't need to be picture perfect in order to express and share yourself and contribute to solutions that are best for all -- as for example I am doing in pushing myself to write this blog and share my process with others

I commit myself to show that the past is only a burden when I decide it is, and that taking self responsibility with self honesty and self forgiveness, is the way to free ourselves from the past and move on


Monday, November 23, 2015

Day 312: The courage to make a career change

Selfie from atop the 6th floor of my new workplace. A couple of months ago I decided to push myself to apply for a job in car sales, because I was faced with the reality that my income at the time was not going to be enough for me to build my business effectively, in the way that I want to.
I had actually applied for this car sales job a few months before, but on the day of my interview I let the experience of nervousness and fear of something completely new, direct me, and I didn't go to the interview.
But since then, I had worked more specifically with myself in establishing a practical way of dealing with nervousness, where - I had realized that previously I had been attempting to firstly ensure that no nervousness would come up within me, before I would apparently be ready / able to commit to a more time and skills intensive job. But, what I came to see about the nature of nervousness in me, is that I had been judging and fearing the experience of nervousness itself, and sabotaging myself from doing things I actually in fact saw I have the potential to do, just because I really didn't want to experience nervousness.

So I was prepared this time, because I had established a more practical starting point in relation to nervousness. Instead of trying to stamp out nervousness, I realized it made more sense to embrace it, and accept it without judging it, and to within this simply stand within what I see I have the potential to do, let go of expectations, and trust myself to dive in and see what happens. Basically, to stop fighting nervousness.

As it turned out, the interview went well, though I was nervous during it, and I ended up getting hired. I am enjoying my new job, as through it I am each day developing my natural strengths and skills and putting them to use to make a better income. I work up to 13 hours a day but I do not experience it as stressful, because in my new line of work, the more I put into it - the more I get out of it.

Already only two months in, I am also picking up business knowledge and practices, and meeting people that I see will support my own business eventually.
Bottom line is, without the skills of breathing, writing, self honesty, self forgiveness, and self corrective application I've learned through Desteni I Process -- I would still be stuck in a limited job, frustrated with my situation, completely directed by my thoughts, reactions, emotions, and memories.

Are you stuck in a limited job, but afraid to apply or interview for something better? Do you feel like you are no where near your full potential, but don't really know what to do about it? Do you experience a resistance or fear of giving up the stability of the predictable and easy routine, and more 'free time' you have with your current job? Are you ready to make a change?

My suggestion would be to get involved with Desteni I Process, and start learning the tools you need to understand how you've gotten to where you are right now in your life, and how to assist and support yourself to start structuring your mind and your life to support you to reach your full potential.

‪#‎income‬ ‪#‎selfimprovement‬ ‪#‎job‬ ‪#‎work‬ ‪#‎selfhonesty‬ ‪#‎desteniiprocess‬ ‪#‎sales‬

Monday, November 16, 2015

Day 311: Cover of Dreams by the Cranberries

My cover of Dreams by the Cranberries. I've always really liked this song and it's fun to sing.

The lyrics of this song, like those of so many others, are an expression of the Energetic relationships of desire / love / feeling - fear of loss / loneliness / emotion that are so prevalent in the minds of Human Beings, where we weave 'dreams' of fantasies and perfection inside our heads, painting beautiful pictures and believing the purpose of life on earth as a Human is to experience as much feelings and emotions as we can because apparently that's what it means to 'be alive'. I don't agree with that because I've seen through walking my own relationship to feelings and emotions, how such mental relationships of energy dependency trap us in perpetual self interest of seeing only what we want to experience in our own lives, and become dependent on each other to fulfill our accepted and allowed fantasies and dreams and hopes, rather than seeing each other as equals and having relationships be partnerships through which we assist and support each other to become more effective in taking responsibility for all life on earth and stopping our obsessions and possessions of desires and fantasies in the dreamland of the mind.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Day 310: How I learned to step outside my comfort zone and change


In this discussion I share my experience with my process of changing myself in relation to fearing challenges and stepping outside of my comfort zone in life. I give perspective on my childhood and how I became conditioned to only be able to deal with what's familiar and easy and the same, and how I've changed myself through applying the self tools shared by Desteni, and been able to establish a practical foundation to support myself to reach my full potential.

www.desteni.org
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Day 309: Are you living in Real-Time or Memory Time?



How many moments during your day are defined by you projecting yourself into the next moment / an upcoming moment / a possible moment later in your day?

Do you find yourself in such moments, imagining yourself "experiencing" a future moment in your head, before it's even here in fact?

Now, here I'm not talking about practical / necessary planning or calculations - I'm talking about projections where you imagine yourself experiencing a moment a certain way. Like for instance you're driving home from work, and you're imagining yourself doing something you like when you get home, like relaxing, watching TV, etc. And, in that moment of imagination, you're having a positive experience; and this experience might include a movement of excitement in your torso area, or you may also smile, or you may also relax your body or change your grip in the steering wheel. So, you're physically experiencing this future moment.

Now it's interesting because, you're in the car, you're driving. You're not at home. You're not doing whatever it is you're imagining / thinking about. You are physically not in that future moment, yet, you're apparently "experiencing it". So, where did this experience come from?

Well it didn't come from the actual moment you're in - which is driving your car. And, it obviously didn't get beamed into your head from the future. So - that leaves the past. Memory. What you're actually doing is accessing a memory contained within your mind, and the way you did that was to first think about the activity - the scenario, and then with that, you start imagining yourself in that scenario, and experiences activate - such as the positive feelings and changes you experience in your physical body.

So how much of you day would you say you spend actually "plotting out" upcoming moments, by imagining yourself doing things and experiencing things, projecting memories of past experiences into your immediate future? Why do we do this in so many little moments throughout the day? Because, what is apparent is that within such moments in the mind, I am not Here, fully in THIS moment, experiencing what is Here - but rather running a simulation of an imagined future moment.

Now what I've found in starting to apply myself more specifically in catching myself doing this in moments, and stopping the thought and letting go of the experience / memory / imagination point, and bringing myself back to breathing, is that I immediately become more aware of --- THIS moment. I immediately become more aware of my physical body, the feeling of my hands, my feet, of sitting, of walking, of the sounds in my environment, of what I can see in my environment, taking place in THIS moment. And also what opens up is the awareness of for instance -- what was I just experiencing that served as the "springboard" for thinking and imagining a future "positive experience"? Was I actually first thinking about something that brought up a Negative experience? Like, I noticed that in certain such moments I actually first thought about something I need to get done when I get home, where I imagined myself doing it and the experience of resistance or reluctance came up. And then from there - I immediately search out a "positive" experience -- which is where the thought / imagination / memory of a positive experience activates - and then -- suddenly I shift from resistance -- to: excitement, or enjoyment, or happiness.

So, it's interesting because it's the same process that activates:
-->Thought
-->-->imagination
-->-->-->experience.
And, whether positive or negative -- it's the same process of accessing a memory of "doing something", that is stored within my mind.

And, this is an important point to become aware of, because it shows where there are Negative experiences that actually get suppressed when, instead of stopping and investigating the negative experience, applying Self Forgiveness, and letting go of the memory - we instead immediately shift to looking for a Positive experience.

So, as we move through our day, how many times are we going from negative to positive to negative to positive, within this process of accessing memories / the past, and projecting them into the future? How many moments in the day are we not actually Here, but in our minds? Where and how do we allow ourselves to be directed by reactions to memories, rather than directing ourselves? How many times per day, per week, per month do we end up procrastinating or putting things off, or deciding "I'm not going to do that", because we accepted and allowed a memory of a past negative experience to have power over us in a moment, where we then suppressed the negative, shifted to the positive, and used the positive as a way to Stimulate ourselves into feeling better / apparently "enjoying" ourselves?

Wouldn't it be more practical to sort out the negative experiences, change our relationship toward things in our life that we resist doing, and release ourselves from the cycle of negative to positive experiences? Imagine, there are billions of people on this planet, and each one of us is every day being directed by negative and positive memories - existing in an alternate reality in our minds, not actually here in real-time in the physical, actual moment.

The cool thing about sorting out the negative experiences, is that you release yourself from the cycle of suppression and desire / need to constantly seek out a positive experience. And in that, open up the discovery of what it is to really be Here with yourself, experiencing YOU.

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Saturday, September 12, 2015

Day 308: Changing yourself from Defensive to Teachable


Are you teachable? Are you living in real-time?

Or are you defined by the past?

Do you have an experience of by default being compelled to explain yourself, defend yourself, and point out the flaws in the 'other' person's point of view, perspective, input, suggestion, when YOUR point of view, perspective input, suggestions, or way of doing things is questioned?

Do you experience 'being questioned', or 'called out', or 'corrected', as a negative thing?

When another questions your starting-point, your way of doing things, your way of seeing things, your behavior, do you by default tend to experience them as being 'opposed' to you, and within that, you being 'opposed' to them?

When someone questions you, do you resist considering what they're saying?

When you look at your relationships, can you identify moments that escalated into reactive conflicts because of any of the experiences above?

These kinds of experiences are tricky because once you allow the reaction and start participating in it, it quickly changes the nature of a discussion into argument and conflict, with 'one vs. the other', and the moment suddenly has this momentum, where it feels like the only option is to continue, until you 'resolve' the the situation, as by defined by this 'need' for the other to 'understand', and 'get', and 'accept', what YOU are saying, YOUR point of view, YOUR perspective, YOUR input.

The very signature of such experiences is that of being right, that of 'knowing best', and to stop, you have to be willing to act in spite of everything that you FEEL in that moment. Because that's only way to stop the MOMENTum of the reaction. You have to be willing to embrace not knowing what to do, what to say, how to act, in stopping speaking, stopping participating in the moment. You have to be willing to embrace not having control over how another sees you or may perceive you. You have to be willing to give up your self-image of 'knowing what you're talking about', and step into the unknown. You have to be willing to give up the feeling that you need to 'protect and defend' your point of view. You have to be willing to give up the feeling of being 'misunderstood'.

What I've found effective is to, in that moment when and as any such reaction comes up in me during a discussion - at the entry point of the moment - I apply one simple decision, which is that of changing my default stance in the moment, from that of 'knowing' to that of - learning. Deciding to be teachable, so to speak.

And within this it's interesting because, when you've defined yourself according to what you know, or how you do something or see something or understand something, what you're really saying within defining yourself according to 'what you know, see, and understand' as your point of view, is that this is ALL I know -- because the definition itself is based on the past - knowledge as the PAST. And so, this does not leave the space to be able to consider new information unconditionally and - be able to change your view and understanding of things.

So, some questions to ask yourself would be:

Are you willing to embrace being wrong?
Are you willing to embrace not knowing best?
Are you willing to embrace admitting you are reacting?
Are you willing to embrace admitting you were dishonest?
Are you willing to embrace however another may end up seeing you in a moment?
Are you willing to embrace not being understood?
Are you willing to embrace admitting another is right?
Are you willing to embrace that another may see something in you that you didn't see?
Are you willing to embrace that your way of doing something may not be effective?
Are you willing to embrace considering whatever another tells you, without judgment?
Are you willing to embrace giving up your self image?
Are you willing to embrace admitting you're in a point of Ego?
Are you willing to embrace admitting you didn't have all the information before?
Are you willing to embrace giving up the desire to have an outcome go 'your way'?
Are you willing to embrace changing in any given moment?

I've discovered that when you are able to embrace these things in a moment of discussion with another, you start to experience a self expansion that you did not conceive of. How can you expand and change, when your default is that of 'knowing' and 'telling', rather than 'learning', and 'considering'? And, within being able to learn, and change, and consider, and give yourself up in any given moment, what opens up is being able to genuinely share things you see, because you're not speaking to try and control the outcome to keep surviving as your point of view as self definition, but you are instead speaking as yourself.

So, you can even print out the above questions, and keep them with you in your pocket, so that as soon as you see yourself starting to react to another in a discussion, you can take out your questions and look at them and check yourself, and make the decision to change who you are in that moment.

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Sunday, August 30, 2015

Day 307: Earth: Red Pill - Heaven: Blue Pill


What do you do when you get emotional, experience conflict, get frustrated, get depressed, get stressed? Irritated? When the world gets you down? When you're bored?

Do you access an experience? What is the name of the experience?

Love?
Light?
Silence?
Oneness?
God?
Angels?
Masters?
Ascension?
Peace?

Take a moment to look at the experience you use. Are there pictures / visuals associated with the experience? What do you see in your head? Images? Colors?

What's the story behind your experience? Is the positive nature of the experience tied in with a form of belief that, in spite of all the 'bad stuff', there is something, someone, some greater force looking out for you, or some brighter, better, happier place waiting for you in this life or when you die?

If someone presented you with two pills - a blue pill that if swallowed, would whisk you away from the Earth into your preferred heaven - or a red pill that, if swallowed, would cause you to live here, in your physical body on Earth forever, which pill would you choose?

In choosing the blue pill, what would be your starting point? To escape? What are you wanting to escape?

Would you resist choosing the red pill? Why? What comes up in your mind at the prospect of remaining here on Earth in your physical body forever?

In choosing the red pill, what would you do with your time here? Would you be satisfied living as you are now, with everything that exists in your, in your mind now, forever on Earth?

Would you be able to walk with Humanity, with all that is here on Earth, within absolute conviction that you will be able to create a new world, free of abuse and inequality?

What is your purpose? What do you live for?

Are you a Spiritual Being having a Human Experience?

Or are you a Fearful being having a Religious experience?

Do you follow the religion of an experience that helps you cope with being here? Are we getting 'enlightened'? Are we 'awakening'? Or are we just creating the same construct of religion over and over and over again - just with different pictures and words?

What is the nature of the Idea of some form of Heaven? Isn't is the place you want to End up in when HaveEnded?

The Idea of Heaven is that it's like - the 'best place' you can be, the place you want to be, the place you want to end up in, in the end.

So, doesn't that make this life, this Earth - actually the representation of Hell in the mind of someone living for Heaven?

When we say we want to change the world and have peace and oneness on Earth - how can we really ever commit ourselves to doing what it takes to make that a reality, when within the very Idea of Heaven as the 'non physical world' in some form -- we are stating that Earth is Hell? That Earth is, and always be - 'less than Heaven'?

The funny thing is though - Heaven is in your mind. Heaven is the mind because that's where you're free to free yourself from the things you don't like about this life, through dreaming up whatever you want. Yet, your mind is in your physical body, on Earth. The Earth was here first, your physical body was here first. Then you installed words, stories, and beliefs as a response to everything you don't like about this life, this world and -- *poof*; Heaven was born. Born from Hell.

At Desteni we take the Red Pill. Because we have made the decision that our Destiny is not to escape what we Fear Here - but to Create Heaven Here. What will you choose? Who will you be at the end of this life?
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