Sharing how I'v recently changed how I see the word Perfect in the context of creative projects, and how, in giving up wanting certain things to be perfect, the opportunity for self-perfection opens up more.
This is a blog in response to the recent placement of statues of Donald Trump in US cities.
What is ridicule?
Wouldn't you say ridicule is a form of manipulation / bulling, where the starting point is that of trying to making another feel inferior and invalidated?
Everyone loves to ridicule politicians - I mean it's so easy right? And the ones that really offend us with their wealth, and their opinions, and their value systems, if we can just ridicule them enough, maybe they will disappear from view and then --- then ----- then what? A solution magically appears?
How does creating naked statues of Donald Trump solve any of the issues that Trump represents?
Isn't creating a naked statue of someone in an attempt to ridicule / invalidate them, simply bullying based on judging someone's physical appearance? Isn't that something we're wanting to stop in the world?
I'm sure many would say - well it's justified because 'he's such a bad man because he represents hate and judgment of others'.
So, how does hate and judgment of another, solve the issue of hate and judgment of others?
Doesn't anger / judgment / blame indicate the lack of an actual understanding, causing the experience of disempowerment, thus leading to reactive actions that seek to manipulate another into feeling disempowered so the tables get turned and we feel like we empowered ourselves?
I mean hey, if we want to change the political system, then we're going to have to work together to understand the system - and then participate in it in practical ways that will produce outcomes that support a good life for everyone. How else do you change something but through understanding the problems, developing practical solutions, and then applying those solutions?
And I mean, even if Bernie Sanders was president - guess what? All the issues / opinions / values / personalities / belief systems / behaviors / judgments that Trump represents to people - would STILL exist in this country, and throughout the world. The country's and the world's problems don't go away simply because someone we like gets elected into leadership.
Every day, every moment we participate in our thoughts, our reactions, our feelings and emotions, our decisions and behaviors, we are casting a Vote for what those thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behaviors represent on the scale of Humanity / the World as a whole. We're all actually the leaders of this world.
So, are we going to vote for blame? Judgment? Hate? Reactive decision making?
Everyone has experiences, thoughts, frustrations, desires, fears, reactions that are accepted to be 'just part of who I am', and we build entire relationships, friendships, families, societies, laws, rules, governments based on compromise, control, punishment, manipulation, fear - finding a way to get by, to live, to have some measure of stability within the acceptance that 'nobody is perfect', and 'it's all part of being Human'.
We create tv shows, movies, books, magazines, that showcase the way we respond with emotions, feelings, thoughts, desires, fears, judgments, reactions of all kinds - to the behavior of each other, and we relish entertainment that enables us to identify and relate to certain characters and groups and 'live through them':
The 'wronged' character
The 'vengeful' character
The 'beautiful' character
The 'sexy' character
The 'successful' character
The 'leader' character
The 'rich' character
The 'holy' character
The 'righteous' character
The 'hero' character
The 'moral' character
The 'spiritual' character
The 'scientific' character
The 'underdog' character
The 'misunderstood' character
The 'redemptive' character
The 'loved' character
The 'caring' character
The 'brave' character
The 'intelligent' character
The 'logical' character
The 'messed up' character
(insert more characters here)
We judge each other in small ways every single day - whether real people in our lives or characters in our entertainment, we feel judged, we feel offended, we feel wronged, we feel mistreated, we feel entitled, we feel righteous, we feel right, we feel defensive, we feel angry, we feel wrathful, we feel annoyed, we feel frustrated.
We find something to believe in which we then defend, protect, and dedicate our lives to pursuing and fulfilling:
We are billions of people that share the same physical substance, the same life essence, the same physical and educational needs.
Some of us exist within cultures, relationships, education systems, family systems, in which there are those who are willing to die and kill for their beliefs, for their feelings, for their thoughts, for their interests, for their desires, for their idea of what is right and wrong.
We see these people as evil, as terrorists, as the worst people on Earth. We struggle to understand how it will ever stop.
We also see rapists, murderers, thieves, criminals, drug lords, politicians, as bad, dishonest -- the 'problem' with our world.
But, isn't all this evil behavior the product of thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, ideas, judgments, opinions?
And, don't we all actually participate in the same things?
When we're watching the movie and we want to get revenge for what has been done to the character we identify with...
When we're reading the magazine and judging the way all the people look as either positive or negative / good / bad
When we're talking about politics or religion, or science, or philosophy, or spirituality, and we get defensive, frustrated, annoyed, irritated, angry, argumentative...
When we think about hurting someone, yelling at someone, how someone else is so wrong, and we are so right...
When we react to someone in blame, annoyance, frustration, judgments -- we we get angry and yell at someone when they do something that was not according to our expectation, preference, upbringing, education...
When we believe in a heaven and want to go there - and would willingly leave the entire world behind, with all the suffering that exists...
When we see and experience and care about only that which makes us happy, or that which we believe in, and are willing to dedicate our entire life to the sole pursuit of that one thing -- even as millions around us, in the same world we are in - suffer without the means to live in dignity...
When we yell at our children and judge them as inferior, and repeat our beliefs and values to them until they say 'yes mom', or 'yes dad' and prove to us that they have been successfully programmed to follow us as their authority figure?
When we laugh at a politician or someone else which we don't like, and would gladly see them suffer, or humiliated, or even killed?
This is the reality of ourselves. We are all contributing every day to the current reality of Human Nature. We are keeping our nature alive, through acceptance and allowance.
Blame is not a solution, war is not a solution, punishment is not a solution, hopelessness is not a solution, turning a blind eye is not a solution, happiness is not a solution, sex is not a solution, dying and going to heaven is not a solution, depression is not a solution, escaping is not a solution, coping is not a solution, waiting is not a solution.
And, obviously - participating in the same patterns that some of us in this world take to violent extremes -- is not a solution.
Can terrorism ever end as long as the majority of Human Beings participate in judgment, reactions, blame, emotional behavior? If we continue as such - we simply perpetuate further generations of individuals and groups who will inevitably take those patterns to the extreme.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the solution to this world is not 'saving the world', or 'killing our enemies', but in taking responsibility for my individual mind / behavior / patterns, and to demonstrate how it's possible to change myself in the day to day, moment to moment reality - including the reality of the space inside my head where I'm 'alone' - which is where the actual truth of me is shown.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how it's not about being 'positive' and spreading 'nice words and feelings' -- because those nice words and feelings are simply existing within the polarity design of 'positive / negative' 'high / low', 'happiness / fear' -- in the mind, which is the same design that every human is participating in right now according to their individual self interest - even the terrorists.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that changing myself is not impossible, but that I have simply not realized and seen the tool of Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness, which I can use to deconstruct and release myself from patterns, so that I can then investigate what is the actual practical, effective way of living in relation to friends, family, money, career, culture, entertainment, interests, etc -- instead of being directed by programming as thoughts, feelings, and emotions based on judgments, desires, fears, fantasies coping mechanisms - that I didn't even remember how I created.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be scared by the long and wordy blog above, instead of seeing and realizing that, just like anything where you develop a skill / learn something new - you don't start at the end - you start at the beginning and take it one step, one day at a time.
And, for you readers - I commit myself to share more examples from my own process of changing myself in the 'day to day' reality of myself.
What I've noticed when I don't write blogs in some time, is that I experience a kind of 'sharing block', or rather, an 'expression block' where - when I sit down and decide to write, I immediately start going through points in my head looking for something to start with. Should I share something from my personal life process I've been walking since I blogged last? Should I write about a current event? And I start going over all the possible topics, which I notice I am looking at from the starting point of 'okay I want to start with a topic / point that I am satisfied with, something that will set the stage for the next blog, and the next blog. Basically, going into an emotion of feeling 'behind' with sharing the insights / realizations I have, and wanting to 'catch up'.
Interestingly though, many times when this kind of block or resistance happens after postponing sharing, I realize after I actually start writing, that the actual relevant point to write about - was my experience of postponement itself. That's the funny thing about the mind - when you're busy trying to do things from the starting point of an idea based on self judgments, wants, desires, comparison - like 'I should write about this because I'm behind in sharing about that topic', for example -- you don't see the reality of what's going on in your mind in that moment - which is that you're accessing an idea instead of really working with what is HERE self honestly.
So, I'm writing this blog to get myself out of that 'block' experience, and letting go of the ideas and thoughts about what to write.
This actually opens up a point which I realized some time ago, which is that when I'm not moving myself in self expression, living fully in every moment within taking the opportunities that open up during my day to share, participate, develop -- then I'm not giving life to myself as who I really am as self expression of me as Life. And, within this, since I'm not living fully - not giving life to myself, expressing ME - I'll go into a kind of subtle 'low' experience underlying my day, and in this subtle low / subtle 'less than' experience, my mind will activate the desire to seek out a point of stimulation - a way to stimulate a momentary 'high' / 'more than' experience - as for instance you'd get when you are participating in a fantasy, playing a game, watching a movie, etc, or , typically what I'll do is busy myself with a project that doesn't involve sharing so I don't have to face that block, where I'll actually justify this with 'well I'm using my time to work on / develop this project, which is important, so - it's fine, I'll get to the sharing point later. Which of course, is just postponement. But in this postponement, as long as I'm 'busying myself', I can, for a moment move out of that 'low' experience, and I'm now 'experiencing something!'
But also within this, I know I'm not really satisfied because I KNOW I'm postponing, so I still have that background 'low experience', which opens up little moments of temptation to stimulate myself in my mind with fantasies or spending too much time on entertainment, so I can move back into the positive.
So the lesson I've learned within this is that where there is no self expression - where there is postponement, suppression, self neglect - where there is no real self movement of the REAL me as the being within my body, here as a breath - the mind activates and starts the process of generating the fake version of self expression / living, which is just positive experiences - in polarity with that starting point negative / low experience.
So, it always comes down to the question of - am I giving life to myself? Am I creating me through self expression / as self expression? Or am I creating myself as a system, as defined by the 'movement' between negative/positive/low/high?